Profile

Hey guys!

My name is Aerak. Trivia time! I was one of the first admins on FurAffinity. I haven't been involved since my boyfriend sold FA many years ago. And now FA has been sold again! Good times! XD

These days I spend most of my time working as an elected official. I sit on the board of directors for MNFurs, which is a 501(c3) non profit organization that promotes and helps to organize tons of events throughout the year for the hundreds of furries in the Minnesota area. I also head the hotel department for www.furrymigration.org. When I'm not helping the furry fandom, I'm costume making!

Contact

Twitter
Free_Hugs_Wolf

Latest Journal

The Highs and Lows that come with being me

on 20 July 2015 at 20:42:00 MDT

I work hard. Sometimes I complain about it. But I keep working hard.

There's a part of me - a tiny voice inside me - that tells me that I CAN'T. It tells me that I'm a joke and a failure. It looks at what other people are doing and compares me to them and says, "All these people are so far ahead of you. What is the point to trying?"

Now of course, I don't REALLY have a voice in my head. It's not like a, "Timmy hears voices and they tell him to do things", type of deal. It's self doubt. I don't have a huge opinion of myself. I still think of myself as shy and awkward and wishing I could just talk to some of the people I know. Really, just sit down and have a heart to heart with them. I wish I could contact them over instant messenger and talk to them. But I don't. Sometimes that insecure part of me has it's way. Some people assume that it's because I'm too "high up" to associate with them, or that I think to highly of myself and don't think highly enough of them. But that's not true. Quite the opposite. If you are reading this, there is a very high chance that I hold you in very high regard. Higher than I hold myself. And so I don't reach out because I'm afraid of making an ass of myself and then you'll think even less of me.

Unfortunately when it comes to what I have just written, that tiny voice sometimes isn't so tiny. I put on a hat and I do work for this fandom. Sometimes that hat reads, "President of MNFurs". Sometimes that hat reads, "Hotel Liaison for Furry Migration". I hide behind those hats. I'm good at what I do for this fandom, and I do A LOT. I put in at least 20 hours of work per week bettering this fandom and the local community. I mean, I look at some of the events I help put together and the people having fun and making friends and laughing, and I tear up. Seeing people happy and knowing I helped in some way is just such a wonderful feeling. But for all that, as great as it feels to help plan and organize things that so many people love and enjoy, I just end up feeling more isolated.

I want to continue to be a better person. I want to get to know a lot of people better and to open up more often and not be stoic about things.

I need a hand.

View This Journal and 0 Comments

Statistics

Joined 29 November 2014

2576
Pageviews
32
Followers
27
Favorites Given
18
Favorites Received
5
Submissions
4
Journals
40
Following

Shouts

  • Link

    Yeah, that's what I heard! I can't wait to see what it will be like this year! Knowing how positive the response was last year, it feels like there will be great things happening for this con in August!

  • Link

    I like your costume and fursuit! It was fun to see you at the Spring Picnic. Hope to see you at FM :)

  • Link

    No worries! And thanks :D

  • Link

    Thank you so so much for the watch!

  • Link

    Thank you for the +watch!

  • Link

    I've been here for awhile, but it looks like it's time to dust off the gallery and get things going again.

  • Link

    Thanks for the favourite