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Weasyl's certainly getting to be quite something. The transphobia from the userbase is astonishing. I've been feeling wholly uncomfortable for a while (see: use of "transgender" solely as a fetish porn tag, rampant and casual use of "cuntboy" and other slurs), but the rule changes are certainly bringing people out of the woodwork. Some of the things being said are absolutely horrifying.

I'm almost more comfortable browsing FA than I am Weasyl, since even though there's a ton of shitheads over there there's a huge userbase to dilute them in. Weasyl's small, and that just makes the uncomfortable things harder to ignore and escape.

Blech.

yikes

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18 June 2014 at 12:33:50 MDT

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  • Link

    i've noticed this too.. i'm starting to feel really uncomfortable being here.
    ever since porn was allowed this place has basically become exactly like FA except smaller.

    • Link

      Yeah, I feel that. I know these things are kind of inevitable but Weasyl's just so small and concentrated it feels like you can't turn a corner without running into this fetishized portrayal of things. Like that's just not a site community I feel welcome in, staff views or not.

  • Link

    At least the admins are making an effort towards inclusivity, that much I can say. I think it's worth discussing this with the admins and see what could be done to mitigate it.

    • Link

      I'll definitely tip my hat to the staff on Weasyl, which is why I try to make it clear I'm talking more about the user community than I am the structure or team behind the site.

      That being said, I don't expect them to be able to do much about it. You can't exactly make a rule against people being my definition of transphobic, especially if that's a decent portion of the content on the site.

      But yeah, just clarifying that I'm not really peeved about anything that the staff themselves have done: even when some questionable things were said, they open and listen to user input on it. That's commendable.

      • Link

        We could always start a movement within the community and enact a no tolerance policy against transphobia where we would block/mute anyone who acted transphobic in our spaces, and warn each other about them.

        • Link

          It's beginning to happen, there's several "warn list" type blogs around. The only thing is that also starts a relatively loud and aggressive counter-movement and it's all kind of a tangled mess. Not sure what a good solution is!

          • Link

            Yeah, if there is one thing I have learned over the years, it's that social progress is always an uphill battle.

          • Link

            If you could PM me with a list of those blogs, that would be nice. I would like to block the transphobes before they get a chance to comment on my stuff.

      • Link

        The idea is to effectively limit the scope and ability for transphobes to spread their garbage around, hopefully driving them away.

      • Link

        I am aware that Weasyl has a policy against naming and shaming, that doesn't mean that Tumblr or even LJ isn't an option to organize this.

  • Link

    I dunno, I haven't noticed anything but I only watch people I watch and don't go to the main page much. Weasyl as a site seems to be neutral enough - there's a field for people to enter any gender pronouns and everything. I think there are always going to be some arseholes out and about - try not to pay too much attention to it, it's not worth your time.

    From what I've seen of the new rules they actually put a stop to some unpleasant tendencies. But then I don't remember the older version of the rules that well - did I miss something?

    • Link

      As a site I'll definitely agree Weasyl's pretty good. The gesture of an open-field gender box and policy regarding various things over the life of the site are good, not always great but good, and I wouldn't ask for much more than what we're currently given. I don't have very many issues with the way staff handles things on these issues; and when I do, they're open to listening to community input on them. So that's cool.

      But the userbase of the site? Ech. The policies were just changed to refer to "female breasts," which a lot of the community is uncomfortable with and hence offered suggestions on better ways to phrase that while not falling back on cissexist language. The suggestions were listened to and we now have ratings guidelines that I, personally, am much happier with the wording on. But now you have people bemoaning Weasyl "caving in to the SJWs" and saying that trans people are out for blood.

      I don't get it.

      • Link

        The only issue I had with "female breasts" being mentioned is that I'm tired of female breasts being OBSCENE AND OFFENSIVE while male breasts are a-okay (though I had to cover them in a picture I did for work recently, haha, at this rate we'll be back to swimming in pyjamas like Victorians soon).

        I think weasyl has one of the most reasonable staffs I've encountered in a while so I don't think they caved in or anything.

        But then on one hand you have people-hating assholes and on the other hand you have SJWs and honestly I dunno which are worse - SJWs are also more about hating people than anything else. Everyone is so uptight these days, I miss the years when I could use pronouns randomly and apologise if I got them wrong and not spend half an hour looking up where the preferred pronoun is mentioned every time I refer to a person I don't know well. But that's a whole other discussion...

        • Link

          "Female breasts" is fairly cissexist on its own, and would only get moreso in trying to enforce it. Unfortunately this clashes with Weasyl's policy of trying to actively not adhere to the gender binary, so I think it's reasonable to discuss problems with that wording and ask that better alternatives be used. Which is what happened and what staff took into account when they made a second revision of the rule.

          I don't think it's a case of being uptight, but a case of bringing up issues that are usually not discussed because they're "too SJW" even though they do effect a large group of people and are indicative of views that harm that group. I'm not saying it's right to bite the heads off of everyone that unintentionally misgenders you, but I am saying that these discussions should be able to occur without people attacking the group with concerns.

          • Link

            Yeah, obviously people should be able to discuss things without being able attacked - any group of people (except people actively seeking out to harm other people).

            Uh, could you explain to me more about "female breasts" (this isn't an attack, I want to understand your point of view)? Because I read it as "breasts that are typical for a human being of female SEX not gender" and I really don't know how else to phrase it so it's clear enough. I think it's a legal term, it's like when doctors ask you to tick a box with your sex they don't care about your gender, they care about biological specifics of your body.

            And I didn't call you uptight - like I said, it's a whole other discussion. You just mentioned SWJs and it made me think how the site that makes me most uncomfortable is tumblr...

            • Link

              *without being attacked
              Sorry, typos.

            • Link

              No yeah, I wasn't saying you called me uptight! Bad wording on my part there. I'm not the best at explaining myself.

              As a trans person, my understanding of the terms "male" and "female" are something like this: Usually to people not familiar with the trans community, it's explained as "sex and gender are different!" and left at that. And that's a good starting place! I'm not saying it's not, but I don't think it should end there. Unfortunately, due to the limits of our language, saying someone is "female" in sex is still making a call on whether they are male or female as a whole. For example, I am a man with breasts, and I would not call my breasts "female" because I am not "female" to any degree. It is saying that is natural for a female to have a "female body," and unnatural for a male to have a "female body" or vice versa. It removes the self-determinacy that is so integral to the trans identity.

              It's true that this is how the language works and for the most part it's easier to just say "No, we're only talking about sex", but just because it's easier doesn't necessarily mean it's the most appropriate way to do things. It enforces ideas like the ones that say I am not a man until I have my body operated on, ones that say that my body is a "woman's body" even though it is my body, and is generally confusing to some people who have to interact on a daily basis with ideas of male and female and how those can be interpreted.

              I get that for most people it's clear-cut, and I totally understand wanting to keep language simple. It's a struggle sometimes! But statements made by Weasyl staff have made it clear that they're open to discussions on this type of language and how it can be bettered, so I think it's okay to bring it up here.

              • Link

                Thanks for the explanation! Can't really comment on it but I wanted to let you know that I read it and appreciate your effort to explain it to me. :)

                • Link

                  Thank you for reading! Like I said, I'm not really the best at explaining, but I really appreciate people who are proactive enough to ask for explanations anyway.

              • Link

                Excuse me, would you mind if I saved this comment for future reference? It would of course have your username/credit kept on it; you've just worded something I have been trying to for so many years so eloquently and I can see needing this down the line.
                If not, I totally understand; and thanks for answering!

                • Link

                  Oh, sure! If my wording works for you, feel free to repeat it whenever and wherever you need. Credit's not necessary unless you want to!

    • Link

      Im agreeing with this comment.
      The site is not to blame, those users are just ass holes in particular or they have a harsher vocabulary that's less openly acceptable.
      But those people will always be that way anyway so whatever let them die angry and miserable trolling the internet.

      • Link

        I'm not trying to blame the site, just expressing discomfort with the assholes.

        • Link

          we don't have a cure for thems yet lol

          • Link

            whines impotently

  • Link

    Would be cool if they could make a custom filter, if they haven't done that yet. You could suggest stuff in their forum

    • Link

      What would you suggest filtering out? :o

      • Link

        The filters here on Weasyl are slightly more advanced than the ones on FA.
        I don't know if they have made custom filters available (making your own filter would be cool), but if they do, I'd filter out all the extreme fetishes out. :P

        • Link

          Fetishes in general don't bother me, it's the fetishization of trans people that's a problem beyond just not wanting to see it. Makes sense to filter what other stuff you're not cool with seeing though!

          • Link

            Fetishes don't bother me much either, but the extreme ones do. The fetishization of trans people is a thing I don't know much about, but it doesn't sound pleasing. As said earlier you could go see if they have a custom filter and if not go suggest one in their forums.

            • Link

              Filters by tags are totally a thing here, and I'm all for their use. But I'm not entirely for just filtering out the trans-fetishizing porn, since that feels like sweeping it under a rug instead of addressing it like the problem it is. And I feel like I shouldn't have to entirely filter out the name of a community I'm a part of just because some people think it only has to do with porn, yanno? Either way though!

              • Link

                If you think there's a problem here you think is damaging to the community you should bé able to contact them directly. But for now we can only sweep it under the rug and ask for help.

  • Link

    I've been lurking the rule change forum and also noticed this bubbling up from the woodwork and jeez, jeez is it upsetting.
    A thumbs up to the admins but a sideways leery look at the userbase from me.

    • Link

      Pretty much my sentiments exactly. Staff handles things as well as can be expected, the userbase not so much.

  • Link

    wait what

    i've been out of the loop what's going on

    transphobes? oh FUCK no. get me a hammer

    • Link

      The threads for input regarding recent rule changes are probably a decent slice of some of the stuff that's just now starting to surface. The fetishization issue is something that's more pervasive and harder to discuss and work on. :T

      • Link

        ???? I guess i need to go to the threads then

        • Link

          It's just a lot of strange and uncomfortable shit coming from different places, but all the same.

  • Link

    You do realize that the reason its worded like is because they have to follow what the American law classes as porn, right? The admin have said they in no way intended for it to sound transphobic or are in anyway that but they do have to follow certain laws in their TOS. Its really saddening to see people acting like weasyl is bad just because of having to follow a what would be classed as perhaps a transphobic and only 2 gender based law.

    • Link

      No one's mad at Weasyl for following a law they have to follow. No one's actually all that mad at Weasyl, because Weasyl staff immediately went out of their way to listen to user concerns, and actively changed the wording of the rule involved to more inclusive and acceptable. Staff should be applauded for that. Again, no one is mad at Weasyl for the necessity of the rule, just as how it was worded.

      The USERBASE, on the other hand, does have issues. And those issues are getting louder, which is definitely something I think I'm warranted in being concerned over.

      • Link

        Ah fair enough, I did hear about then changing it but I wasn't sure if they did, sorry about the confusion.
        As for the user base, I guess I haven't really noticed? I suppose every site has its bad-dons, you just have to /attempt/ to stay clear of them unfortunately.

        • Link

          The first change was to a wording that a lot of people had concerns over, and the second change was to try and assuage those concerns. Now other people are saying that Weasyl caved to SJWs for listening to those concerns.

          And it's true, there's bad people everywhere, but it does reach a point where rolling your eyes and ignoring it starts giving way to wondering whether this is even a place you should be.

          • Link

            It really seems like you can't win, if they don't change it people are upset at the transphobia related to it, and if they do change it people [who I assume would fall into the phobic category? don't see why else you would complain about it like that and call people 'SJW'] make comments about the site changing to easily to please 'SJW'''s ugh.

            I guess I've never really been that effected by toxic fanbases since i tend to distance my self from community's on art sites? I suppose how bad it effects people depending on how they feel about that sort of stuff, I know some people are triggered and get upset a lot easier then others. Unfortunately this sort of thing is everywhere on the internet [and even out of it] so apart from distancing your self to the internet in general, what can you do?

            • Link

              Yeah, I don't expect everyone to be happy, but I think it's okay to talk about it either way.

              In general, I like being talkative and interactive with the community of sites I'm on. But I'm also someone who's easily bothered by things, even though for the most part I try not to be too argumentative about things. However, with things like transphobia, I don't think it's good if everyone just goes "oh well, that's the way it is."

              Because you can talk about it. You can try to tell people why certain things are harmful, you can bring attention to things that might otherwise be swept under the rug, you can let everyone know that the loud transphobic few don't speak for the entirety of the site, that sort of thing. It's not the immediate, wide-spread change a lot of people probably hope for, but I think at the end of the day some things are worth not ignoring completely.

              • Link

                Yeah I understand, I respect you for being able to do so! I wouldn't have the guts to get into a argument or a 'heated discussion' with somebody about this sort of stuff since I know first hand how toxic and close minded people can be. [as I'm sure a lot of people do in these times] But in the end you are totally right, since things will never get sorted/better if people don't speak out. It's good that sites like weasyl respond to their user-base and change topics like this even if people who agree feel the need to stand out and make a big thing about it. Perhaps someday there will be more trans-friendly people on sites like this instead of the other way around.

                • Link

                  Yeah, totally! I usually don't have the courage to say anything at all, but if I'm having a day where I'm good enough to say a little something, might as well. If anyone has a problem with it I probably don't much care for talking to them anyway, haha.

                  But yeah, at the end of the day it's whatever anyone's comfortable with it, and things will get better over time. It's just getting to that "better" spot that's the hard part.

  • Link

    Just drifted over to the forum.
    Jeez, can people soapbox over how the world is "TOO PC FOR MEEEEZZZZ!!!111!!!1" you'd think they didn't subscribe to the Daily Mail hard enough. I'm still going to use my own better judgement for handling ratings and tags.

    • Link

      Trans people ask for one instance of cissexist language to be changed and it's the end of the goddamn world.

      The actual, literal ratings and things is something I'm going to leave for everyone else to hash out; not a fight I really want a dog in, especially since it does seem to go back to either common sense or US law.

      • Link

        Sometimes I Just need to laugh. Such as with this one "This is why no one takes Trans Issues seriously!" No, that's just you.
        Forums tend to be the worst places for commentary as they're often used as soap boxes for people who feel ignored than for people who often are.

        • Link

          Yeah, for the most part I ignore forums entirely, but I feel like I should keep up on the more prominent discussions of site policy, yanno? Even if it does usually devolve into yelling.

  • Link

    Jesus the amount of people that said "The staff isn't to blame!" to you. I didn't even get that impression from your journal at all. Regardless, it's hard to find an art site without that bullshit. This is why it's so hard for me to get included in any sort of community with furs specifically, though it isn't limited to just them. I can't browse without getting angry, I can't do anything without transphobia being thrown in my face, so that's why when I visit art sites, I don't do anything except post my shit and respond to comments outside of keeping up with artists I like (such as you)!

    • Link

      I tried to be pretty clear that I wasn't at all upset with the staff (or even the rule!) involved, but I guess that's kind of the impression this whole discussion gives off. I dunno!

      And egh yeah I totally understand that, it's like this necessary evil that's still totally unnecessary. I'm probably getting angry at a brick wall here in regards to it, but what else can you do besides at least let it be known that that's not some shit you're cool with? I dunno, I just get bothered enough sometimes to grumble a bit I guess hah.

      • Link

        No there's absolutely nothing wrong with being angry at a brick wall. I tend to do it as well, just not on the art sites themselves because I tend to feel a little funny about putting too much about myself on them? I'm not sure /why/ but I am. I think I rant the most on tumblr. Ahaha. I am quick to snap at a person if they pull that shit on my page though, and I have been guilty of angry journals every now and then. I agree that all the transphobia is very unnecessary and even more frustrating in the regard that you can't just push out all the people that /are/ assholes.

        • Link

          Yeahh, I used to try to be as open on art sites as I am on my more "secluded" spaces (like tumblr), but I've definitely had to cut back as people seem to be getting bolder about being nasty over things. I dunno, I'm not always ready to handle it but I guess when I am I should say a couple things.

  • Link

    I'm randomly happy that sorta don't fully pay attention to this site at the moment, then.
    Not that I'm trans, no, (well I'm not cis either, but that's a can of worms I don't feel like hemming and hawwing about right now) but I have friends who are.
    And I just... :/ Ugh.

    I refuse to go to the forums to check out what is being said, just because I'll probably end up being frustrated and angry if I do.
    But I'm sorry that some of the user-base are cissexist asshats.

    ....... And I won't speak on the fetishization of Trans folks. Because, that that is a thing just hella disturbs me in the first place.
    But that's my feelings to any minority that is fetishized.

    • Link

      A lot of it's just a lot of weird things going on at once, and I'm sure the loud subset of users is just that: a subset. But it's a bit squicky all the same, all things considered.

  • Link

    I'm glad I've not had to been exposed to this stuff much, as I kinda keep to my own turf here. I'm glad to know the staff is responsive in the way they are, at least- I can only hope this negative vocal minority stays limited...

    Also, curious as to your thoughts on something, since you sound like you have some solid opinions on this matter. This journal may not be the best place to hash this out, so I apologize if it is, feel free to elect not to- but it's somewhat on topic so maybe other folks curious about the same issue will the topic useful. Basically, I'm curious as to what you would quantify as fetishization when it comes to adult art portraying trans people. I'm trans myself, but I'm not a very sexual person, so I don't have a /ton/ of exposure to this in porn... But I do have a side account for adult commissions for income purposes. So on the one hand I don't want to feel limited to only drawing cis people, especially since that in itself feels limiting and exclusionary. But I want to be sure I'm not unconsciously picking up ways of portraying characters that plays on fetishistic aspects without my realizing it, either. Obviously just avoiding ugly transphobic language in descriptions is critical, but I know there's a lot more to it than that. What would you say are hallmarks that distinguish fetishistic works from just... adult art which happens to have trans people?

    • Link

      This is actually something I'm curious about as well. I know what looks fetishistic and icky to me, but I wonder a lot about how things look to other people, and what they recognize as uncool.

      • Link

        I left a comment below regarding my thoughts on the issue, I'd be happy to hear feedback and discuss more about it.

    • Link

      I feel like a few people have misinterpreted me when I talk about trans fetishization, so I'm glad you asked!

      Porn that features trans people is DEFINITELY not inherently fetishizing; I myself have characters that happen to be trans and also happen to have sex. It's not inherently bad, and to exclude trans people from porn entirely is just as much a problem as treating trans people solely as a fetish. I think that's the line, where some porn portrays a trans PERSON and some porn portrays a trans FETISH.

      There's a world of difference between, say, ChrisGoodwin's Fable series and porn that depicts trans people as a hodgepodge of sexual organs or as solely a sexual vehicle. A lot of people seem to think "transgender" is an appropriate catch-all for any depiction of someone with hypersexual bodyparts, like sticking beachball breasts and a two foot dick on something makes it transgender. So there's that complete misunderstanding of the term. Others make these characters obviously in- or post-medical transition just because it's more arousing, without knowing anything about the community. It's that background that's important: otherwise the struggles of the community get lost in a wankfest.

      Without the personal background accompanying the depiction, you get a lot of warped views of people. For a long time, I had a character representative of me openly with the body I am comfortable with: no breasts, but still with vulva and all accompanying bits. Because the community is so used to this type of character being used for fetish work, I got a few comments asking how long I'd been into the "trans fetish" and automatically assuming I would be sexual with them solely based on the body I was portraying myself with. That's a problem.

      If you're already in the community, that background is almost certainly a given. As someone in the community, you're going to automatically have a feel for what is and isn't an appropriate usage of the term, and you'll probably have a good feel for when the depiction is of a person who happens to be trans and when the depiction is hypersexualizing the trans condition.

      The problem with fetishization are a multiplicity: it makes it so people cannot remove the trans community from the sexual definition applied to it, it makes the identity seem like a chosen "kink," it makes the people involved seem like sexual playtoys instead of a minority in need of support. I think a few people seem to be under the impression that I'm railing against portraying trans people sexually in any circumstance, which I'm not at all. I think when you actually look around it's fairly obvious when a depiction is meant respectfully and when it's not.

      • Link

        Thanks so much for the in-depth reply, I really appreciate it. It does give me a much better idea of how to approach this in a way that I am comfortable with personally, and which paves the way to create an expressive space in which other people feel comfortable as well.
        That comic you linked really expanded my idea of what adult art could be in a big way. I've never seen it quite so sensitively crafted, and it's beautiful as a work of it's own, so thanks for that insight! It gives me a lot of ideas about what sort of direction to go in.

        • Link

          Glad I could help! I'm certainly not the end-all be-all say on this sort of thing, but I'm more than happy to talk about it since I think it's an important issue right now.

      • Link

        Oh gosh, thanks for typing all that up! Definitely makes sense to me. :)

        I like this post a lot. I like this whole journal a lot, honestly. You have won many cool-person points from me today. <3

        • Link

          You're welcome! And thank you, haha. I'm a little surprised at the reactions this got, but not entirely in a bad way.

          And an additional thank you for your comment down below. I'm not always the best at knowing how to respond to things, so I appreciate the extra input.

  • Link

    I didn't know 'cuntboy' was a slur.

    • Link

      While some members of the community are reclaiming it, and that's cool on them, it is really only appropriate for DFAB trans people to use it as it is otherwise derogatory.

      • Link

        I am still not sure how cuntboy is even remotely positive enough for someone to want to reclaim.

        • Link

          I can vaguely see it, but it's definitely not for me, and it's definitely not for anyone outside of the community to use.

      • Link

        So it's like black people using the word nigger, it's only for them to use?
        And why only DFAB? What if you're a guy who wants (and then gets) a vagina but none of the other female parts? Would you not be considered a cuntboy then? I mean, they could even prefer that over MtF, since it wasn't the full transformation.

        • Link

          Kind of.

          An MTF person wouldn't be called a cuntboy because they're not a boy, hence the "female" part of that term. I don't understand why that was brought up.

        • Link

          If you are designated male at birth, and later pursue bottom surgery to aquire a vulva and stuff, there's a pretty good chance you don't identify as a male/man/boy. A lot (but definitely not all!) of the people who go and have that done are trans women, so cunt*boy* would no longer fit them, and they might be more likely to reclaim "shemale," another slur, if anything at all.

          There can be and surely are exceptions to this, absolutely - it all depends on the particulars of a person's ID, but I'm not sure what you're suggesting is super common.

  • Link

    I didn't even see it getting too bad save for the jerkasses in the thread about the TOS. I really hope it doesn't become extremely out of hand, I do like it here, and I'm glad the mods don't just ignore everybody like FA's does most of the time.

    • Link

      I dunno, I'll see where it goes really, I'm kind of wary of keeping any hopes about it. But! Staff reactions are good, so that's definitely a plus.

      • Link

        Yeah, I truly hope it all works out..I'm so tired of people complaining about those fighting for what's right.

  • Link

    Just to clear up things, you don't like the fetishism and sexualization of transsexual people, correct?

    • Link

      I don't like reducing the community to a fetish, correct. I wrote a comment clarifying what I mean by that in reply to Caelan a couple comment threads up.

      • Link

        My apologies, I hadn't updated the page for a few hours, so I didn't see that before commenting.
        I don't mean to offend anyone if I ever use trans characters of mine. I don't think I've posted any, but I have definitely drawn some and some transformation-type things. I have dated a couple of transgendered people and have become very attracted to them and gender-neutral/gender-fluid people. Sometimes, I get my boyfriend to dress up as a "woman" because he is a bit feminine, and we both enjoy it as well. I didn't realize that doing things like this would offend the community/anyone at all. What would be the difference between being attracted to transexuals and making it a fetish?
        (Also thank you for answering all these questions. It makes things a lot easier for many of us)

        • Link

          A lot of those things are borderline, so you'll have to excuse me if I'm not the most versed on how to discuss them.

          Transformation sequences don't have anything to do with the trans community, and please do not tag them as such or talk about them as being "transgender." The idea that the trans community is solely defined by their physical attributes and any changes made to them is flawed and can be offensive. Transformation sequences from, for example, being a "cis male" to a "cis female" can be problematic in and of themselves, as they enforce the idea that one's body defines one's identity and that certain bodies belong to certain genders. But that's an entire discussion in itself.

          A man dressing as a woman also doesn't have anything to do with the trans community, as simply changing one's presentation doesn't mean one identifies as something other than what one was designated at birth. The trans identity isn't a costume worn whenever you feel like it, it's an integral part of the people who take it, and goes way beyond style of dress. Not to say that cis people can't play with the ideas of gender roles and gender presentation, but it doesn't immediately make them not-cis when they do so!

          Also, it's important to make the distinction between being attracted to a transgender person (a small note: "transgendered" isn't a term that's accepted in the community, and I can go into why if you'd like; just saying "transgender" is better!) and being attracted to them solely because they are transgender. The former is totally cool! The latter is problematic, and it'd be a case-by-case basis to discuss why.

          In mainstream culture, and this fandom culture, the trans identity is commonly and almost exclusively used in a sexual context when there are real, living, breathing people with these identities just trying to get by in life without being viewed as sexual objects. I would be extremely uncomfortable is someone was attracted to me on the basis of me being trans, since I would feel like they didn't fully understand everything that means to me and how it impacts me on a daily basis if it is being used as a sexual thing for them.

          And thank you for asking! I'm happy when people who have characters with these identities actually ask about these sort of things, since I feel like discussion of these issues promotes a better understanding and better portrayal in the end.

          • Link

            Thank you for answering this.
            Even though I have dated a couple of trans people, I still don't know a lot about the community. Neither wanted to talk about it at all. Considering I am not in the community myself, I'm not well-versed in what constitutes as "transgender" either (like the TF and cross-dressing thing was my misunderstanding and was a drowsily-chosen example, and I apologize for the ill choice of examples). Likewise for what would be considered offensive to the community. I no longer communicate with anyone in the community very closely, so I am often confused about the "do's and don'ts." This thread has definitely cleared a lot of things up (and I highly respect you for that), but there are still a lot of unclear concepts that I won't burden you with.

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              Thank you for reading and asking!

              There's a plethora of resources online of people in the community talking about these things, among others, if you ever want to know about something but don't feel like personally asking someone. I think it's important that, if you're going to interact with the community at all (and attempting to portray the community via characters and the like is definitely interacting!), we all get a little more active about engaging in discussions and learning about what is and isn't acceptable, and why those things are the way they are.

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    I just kind of wish fettishes in general had universal tags so I could block out the ones I don't care to see. My blacklist tag has grown and I have to put such obscure words in there just to avoid things :T I don't want to have to block mature posts because im okay with nudity but maaaan. Kinda wish porn wasn't allowed so we didn't get this influx of all this negativity, its seeming to cause a lot more harm than good within the community.

    Only reason why I don't really mosey back to FA is because of the admins, they're handling the site super well as far as things seem to be going.

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      Yeah, I can understand that. I feel like not allowing porn would be more trouble than its worth and ultimately completely impossible to enforce, but I get the sentiment all the same.

      But yeah, I've reserved a little hope for the staff team here regarding these issues, but the community is a different monster.

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    I was really hoping that would be a group of people that would just stay on FA. It boggles my mind that people can't understand why some fetishes are actually REALLY problematic and hurt REAL people and affect people outside their dumb characters with 200 dolphin dicks or whatever

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      It's a lot of that mentality that fetishes are completely untouchable and exist in vacuums, when they really, really, really don't. A lot of fetishes are the result of some super problematic shit and I think people need to realize that it's okay to call them out when that's the case.

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    Ugh, sorry to say this kind of thing is going to exist everywhere... Once folks started making the mighty exodus to weasyl earlier this year we started seeing more of a rise in "questionable" art too. Can't escape this sort of thing until we create our own secret club that no one can see but us basically lol. Yeah, certainly not the site's fault (kindof like FA in ways) it's the userbase... just like any fanbase there will always be stinkers...

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    As a transman, I feel you. 100%. Weasyl is becoming scary.

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    There are transphobic users on every site. I'd never go back to a place that assists, harbors, and hires rapists as a matter of course.

    FWIW I'm trans and I see 0 problem with people using terms like cuntboy/dickgirl etc. when no malice is intended.

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      It's all a matter of comfort. I stated why I view the two userbases differently above. Just because "it's everywhere" doesn't mean I have to be comfortable with it.

      And as a trans person I definitely do see a problem with those terms, malice or not, like any other slur. Blickfen has a couple recent journals speaking on the usage of cuntboy specifically.

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    just followed you and noticed this journal, would like to throw in that I agree - and also, I'm becoming discouraged in general with how violently people react when you ask for small comforts (no fetishization in the trans or transgender tag, different wording to make trans people more comfortable, etc).
    i'm actually considering outright quitting the furry fandom at this point aside from a handful of people I'm comfortable speaking with. i've had the misfortune of receiving more death threats for being "too PC" than when i was on FA at 16~ and harassing people constantly for fun. it just feels more and more, especially on smaller sites, that it's a "matter of opinion" when someone does or says something bigoted rather than acknowledging how hurtful it can be.
    thanks for saying what is hard to put into words! as it is, i don't think i'll be in the fandom much longer, but i really appreciate people like you voicing the concerns openly.