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I Think I've Lost My Spark by Daigo

Not in the “I’ve lost my love of drawing” or whatever. More so that i believe I kinda don’t draw for myself anymore. I really haven’t created new characters. I haven’t really expanded on the ones i already have. I’m not creating progress with my own properties. I REALLY enjoy drawing for people the things that they enjoy. For me, seeing someone get joy or appreciate what i did for them brings me a lot of happiness. not to mention its kinda been my livelihood for pretty much 5 long years.

I remember back when i was in Home-school and High school how I would just draw! whatever came to mind. Be it sonic stuff or fan stuff of artists I really enjoyed at the time and then trying to make my own things. I really had no one to show them too at the time either. My family never really cared about art except for my brother. Cept when he would draw, he would draw Marvel Comics type stuff and Dragon Ball Z and his own Wu-Tang related materials. He was really good at it too. So like...I never showed him my art. It was far better than mine and on top of that , it was cartoon animals and Sonic stuff. We weren’t really close either so...I feared maybe id get made fun of. Also because I’m the youngest of my Siblings...its kinda easy pickings. I was alone in my creations for a long time, and that was perfectly fine to make myself happy with em.

Then of course i found the FA community and things kinda took off from there. I finally got to show people my stuff! it was pretty crazy...and they liked it. I met a bunch of new people. Artists and friends blew my mind and I got such joy drawing things for them and then they encouraged me to do commissions. Its great! Meeting people and finding out their particular tastes and likes and then BAM! Here have this! Cause I know you like it. So...I just got in the habit of drawing things for people.

So now, when I’m drawing, I just get blanks....I don’t know what to do. I think my brain wants me to concentrate on others. “Hey! what are you doing? you should be working” or “how about drawing someone you like?” or when I’m talking with friends, we are discussing ideas with character interaction and i figure “yeah i might draw that” and then they ask me “what would you like?” and i can legit come up with nothing. I never know what to ask for myself. I cant think of anything for myself cause i guess Ive just gotten out of the habit of thinking of my own creations. And when I’ve drawn gift art...i feel happy that they enjoyed it but then afterwards...I feel kinda bad...kinda empty from something. I...don’t know. It constantly makes me think of “Why can’t i ever think of things?”
Then I look at my art...and would like to show people...and then I realize 80% of my pieces have other people in them, or its related it. gift art... I don’t think that’s bad cause I’ve enjoyed doing ALL of them.

I’ve been having thoughts of maybe quitting the commission scene and trying to find something else to take away from the art scene to maybe see if it is a spark thing. Find a new path for a while. its why i made a Patreon in hopes of doing my own stuff more. For the most part its doing something! definitely making me finish more things. I just don’t know exactly how I feel or how to go about it. So...yeah. Felt like maybe i should say it out and see what people think maybe?

sorry for the long ramble just to get to the point.

I Think I've Lost My Spark

Daigo

Journal Information

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918
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31
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Comments

  • Link

    I dunno. Something besides the sexiness field? What else interests you? Draw that?

  • Link

    Try running through basics, just make sheets of your own characters making funny faces. The best part about art is you'll always have something somewhere in your brain for more. It's just forcing yourself to dig around until you do find something you want that's the trick.

    • Link

      all of those makes sense! Definitely something worth looking into or trying.

  • Link

    Well if you don't know what to do then it might be easier to make a list of what not to do. Use your made list help air out your mind. It's full of stuff so take the time to de clutter it. Take a week off where you don't draw anything see if you want to come back to drawing. If you do come draw what you want to draw, whether it be a flower or character. Should you not come back then try to enjoy life to its fullest.

    • Link

      I cant imagine putting down drawing so thats good.

  • Link

    Do what you feel is right. I've gone months without drawing, wondering if I'll ever do it again. It's always come back at some point. I get an idea that I think only I can really draw for myself. Or whatever. But if I don't, I don't force it.

    • Link

      DRAW MORE!

  • Link

    I wish I knew what to say but as is I can just say, if you need a sabbatical or something to that effect your fans and friends will surely support you until you're ready to come back. Your well being is important. Paramount even! We love you if you draw for us or for you!

    • Link

      Awwrf! thank youu. Though i dont think I need that big of a break of things. just something else to be the mundane so I can allow my brain to dream again. School was the mundane and the art was the escape. maybe?

      • Link

        That makes a lot of sense honestly I've known creatives who've done their best work when they "should" be focusing on something else

  • Link

    (pinches ur butt)

    • Link

      AYEEE Ive been PEENCHED

  • Link

    "Do something, do anything."

    • Link

      squeezes you instead

  • Link

    For what it's worth, I feel like any creative endeavor needs some measure of selfishness, some level of self-investment and indulgence. Stepping away from the commission scene wouldn't be a bad idea, and honestly dude, working on what -you- want to do is something that should be first and foremost when doing any kind of creative project. Maybe something bigger than you, a story you want to tell, or working with someone else to bring that kind of thing to fruition.

    As it is, I know I've only recently started gaining some measure of satisfaction with this project I've been working on with friends, a proper show that I am hoping will reach a greater audience, and something that I feel is worth putting the effort in for. I couldn't speak for you, and I never would dream of it, but there's a massive level of enjoyment from putting something grand together. Your work is incredible dude, and that much won't change, but this is just me speaking what I feel...

    You're worth so much more than you believe you are.

    What you do is of value, true value and merit. And it will for yourself and everyone else, but you have it in you for something truly grand, I know this. What it is, I honestly can't say, because that's for you to decide and no one else to determine. You are a man of supreme talents, and if you can find that one thing that will truly ignite the fires of ambition within you, set you roaring off into the sky like a rocket?

    Well, I'd look forward to seeing that with bated breath.

    You do what you need to man, that's all I can say, but don't be afraid to be selfish, that's all I wanted to say.

    • Link

      Thanks a bunch man for such kind words. Glad you are enjoying your own projects too. Really do need to just get a grip of things

  • Link

    Make a webcomic. :3c

    • Link

      I know RIGHT!?

  • Link

    I honestly almost have the opposite problem. I feel like I can only really draw myself and Luna... it's why I haven't posted anything on FA in forever! I'd just be posting a zillion pictures of the same thing.

    If you really think you want to try to draw for yourself more, DO IT. I'd LOVE to see more shots of you and Iko, for example - but the other characters you've got rolling around in your head? I'd be equally interested to see those.

    My Luna quit doing commissions because she felt like she wasn't getting any satisfaction out of them. That's part of the reason she disappeared from FA. You should consider the fact that you get a lot of satisfaction out of commissions to be a GOOD thing. On the flip side though, do NOT ignore that gnawing feeling of never drawing anything for yourself.

    My Luna has created an entire world for her characters to inhabit - and she's been working on its story for years. Perhaps you should try creating something for yourself with the original characters you already have. It doesn't have to be grand - I'd imagine what I've just said is how a lot of webcomics got started.

    But you don't even have to have an aim, I suppose. Have some fun with your characters. It's what I do. Right now I'm exploring something new I've discovered that my Luna likes, so I've been drawing a lot of it :)

    Try seeing how much you can do for yourself. I'd say that's the place to start. Best of luck, and I look forward to seeing what you come up with!

    • Link

      the ideas of webcomics and stories do sound like something i should really try and look into. I'm super glad you are drawing a lot of what you are enjoying now too!. Hmmm the many things ive thought of before but just let fade...hmmmmmm

      • Link

        YES. Dig back into your memory and pull out things you've forgotten. Heck, if you can't think of anything else, draw Iko in something naughty and/or in a compromising situation with you looming over her. It's what I do with Luna :P

  • Link

    Don't be too despondent, Daigo. This seems like the problem of a genuinely altruistic and/or empathetic artist. =)

    You may also simply be finding it hard to shift from the well-worn groove that came from working so hard for others'. That said, there's also nothing wrong with being the skilled hand that brings someone else's idea to life.

    Patreon may be the thing that gets you to explore your own brain-meats, but even if it isn't you're still making an effort. As long as you still put in a concerted effort, you will find your answer.

    Also, get hugs from Iko for encouragement. =^_^=

    • Link

      aww thanks a bunch krafty! much appreciated .

  • Link

    The "ask x" thing seemed promising. What's to stop you from expanding on characters/you're works that way? I think more slice of life stuff would be cute from your perspective!

  • Link

    well i never felt the same way in like forever. thanks dude i felt so alone and just stopped drawing all together. latley its just been hard for me to come up with stuff to draw.

  • Link

    Ach, I'm late to comment, but I'm just along for the ride and there's nothing that I can really do or add that probably hasn't been already said - so yeah, go at your own pace. Take a break. Try not to burn yourself out over something that you should find it being fun to do - because if your hobby becomes a chore, what then?

    I'll still respect you and whatever you choose to do regardless of what direction you decide to go in. c:

  • Link

    Redirecting your focus or refinding your focus will help you a lot. Surrounding yourself with people that inspire you will probably help you blend lots of new ideas for you to get excited over.

    I love doing fast gestures. I like all types of animations, American, to French, to Japanese and wanna study them all. I like growth. So I'm making new characters of different animation aesthetics that I like to grow them with my kinks.

    Starting with what you like might be a good kicking off point to explore.

  • Link

    I'm not an artist. Just been a fan for a good while. I hope you find what you're looking for to help you feel better. But never force yourself to do something it will only make things worse. Hope you find your spark again :)

  • Link

    Do you still stream art and stuff? I miss your dumb movie streams.