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Possibly coming back. IDK. by uglylilmonster
I still really dislike how this website (or rather, its staff and some of its userbase) handles anything it considers "drama" (aka Serious Community Issues like sexual predators, animal and child molestors, etc) that isn't "lol I fucking hate FA and we're better than FA :)" but at the same time I've been vaguely considered posting my art here again
IDK, shruggos. plenty of people hate FA and post to it (I'm one of them) so hmm
Possibly coming back. IDK.
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I really wish I could say it feels like a difference of opinion, but weasyl's staff basically tried covering their own asses when my rapist threatened to sue them (it was an empty threat, and dude's tried "suing" me himself, and has since dropped it as far as I'm aware the second he realized I have no problem going to court about everything) - bc i posted a link and his name in a warning journal for ppl going to a con (he raped me at a con, fyi) - and tried playing it off as me breaking rules when there were a dozen similar, easy to find journals accusing FA staff of criminal conduct such as theft, animal molestation, and rape. They also said (in private) they didn't like me posting about it on my own personal journal on their site bc it made them feel like it was using the site as a sexual offender database. (a private chat was leaked w/ all this info by a staff member who was VERY uncomfortable with all this, and from what i could gather it's not that they didn't believe I was raped by the dude I mentioned, it's just that they value the art over the community that makes it. If that makes sense?)
I worked with them (and they worked with me!) and they were kind in some ways but it's more that I view the site as like ... again, valuing art over the people who make it, when that's .... very similar to how FA is run. And that's also hella unsafe and setting a bad example. That's just how I feel, tho - I want people who have been raped/abused to be able to come forward about what happened without feeling like the community is going to shit on them and make them feel awful for saying anything, lol.This was like, a year ago tho, so my memory's fuzzy, and I mostly just remember feeling hurt to literally hear me warning people about a rapist (who also tried raping someone else in similar circumstances, fyi, who has also publicly stated yeah, that's a thing) be made into a shitty offhanded joke.
Sorry for the really serious response - again, not a disagreement, or difference of opinion, more as Weasyl made me feel hella unsafe and hella bad and like they don't give a flying shit about me or anyone else that man might rape in the future.
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Ahhh right okay I remember when this all went down, I believe I'd commented back then as well. I'm really sorry that things weren't handled in a way that you felt safe with. At the same time I can understand them wanting to keep the site a safe place for everyone when they can't definitively say whether the accused or the accusers are in the right. They're not upholders of the law, they're just trying to run an art site. I'm really, really not trying to diminish your right to feel unsafe with that behavior. I'm a trauma survivor as well and I understand your viewpoint completely. I guess I just also feel that holding the staff accountable for not wanting to risk the well-being of the site isn't.... I don't want to say fair, because nothing about this is fair. Nothing involving trauma is ever fair, and the victims are always at the highest risk for disbelief, victim blaming, and more threats. But I don't think saying that because the staff didn't want a callout Journal to contain names or links to names means that they condone the abusers actions. I've seen many callout Journals on Weasyl get taken down, some against people who maybe deserved to be called out, others viciously attacking people for differences in opinion or over a bad relationship breakup. To hold the staff responsible for sorting through them and deciding which are "allowable" and which aren't, rather than acknowledging that they're just a group of human beings who aren't judge and jury and don't have the power to decide that kind of thing so they instead make a blanket rule to disallow any callout journals is... I don't know where I was going with that. Forgive me, I've had very little sleep and my spoons are in the negative.
I'm not trying to change your mind; more offer a different perspective? Of course your safety is the most important thing, so ultimately it is up to you whether you decide any site is the right fit for you. It's still awful this all happened at all, and I hope you find... I guess closure? I wish you the best in whatever decisions you make!
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hey, read your comment, understand and it was worded well and kindly <3 i do say that they have let a lot of callout journals that broke similar rules or worse rules than mine up, those journals are still up (i can get the links if you need em!) hence why im like "hmmm". i mean, i publicly pointed them out, and they havent been taken down almost a year later, haha - and i know theyve seen them bc they followed everything i posted, and they didnt decide to enforce their own rules on those journals. coincidentally most of those journals are about FA, hence my skepticism ;p it IS their site, they can run it how they want, and they definitely dont have to acquiesce to me, but i am allowed to be critical of something i see as hypocritical, you know?
youve been so kind, thank you-
That's totally fair! As I think I said, I can only speak of my own experience with callout Journals and seeing them taken down, but if yours is different and - as you've said - hypocritical, I can completely understand why you'd be more than skeptical about the intentions of the staff.
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do what makes you the most comfortable, if you dont feel safe or feel like this is something for you, you dont have to force yourself.
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wait, what happened? i came here to get away from that sort of thing!
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http://uglylilmonster.tumblr.com/tagged/weasyl here you go, this happened awhile back and it made me feel incredibly uncomfortable and unsafe lmao.
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Damnit...
Sigh.
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hey, if the site's working for you, just try to be the change you wanna see in this site. I don't doubt good people who stay here could probably make a change if they all grouped together and asked for change. at the very least weasyl seems like it'd change its rules for the better if enough people stood up and said "hey, this might not be as bad as FA, but y'all need to do better, we expect more of y'all"
also remember im biased due to how i was treated (its super hard for me to pull my feelings apart from people maliciously hurting me as a survivor in an effort to hurt me and try getting me to shut up and people passively hurting me as a survivor bc its inconvenient, both are shitty to me and make me mad and sad and feel broken inside and can re-trigger my PTSD and feelings of helplessness, and its not something i am willing to spend emotional energy distinguishing bc its still shitty behavior that actively hurts me, and also i am kind of an asshole to keep myself sane bc beind kind and gentle to every single person who gets it wrong could fuck me up) and how i wasnt listened to but again. you can be the change you want to see in this site if you genuinely think youre up to it. sorry, i know i hate this site but i dont ... want to make you feel like you have to leave on my behalf
thank you for giving a shit n listening to me ramble lmao, its appreciated
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Hey, listening IS a big change that i'm trying to do.
As far as i can tell too many people don't listen. Sometimes when things suck you don't want someone to try and fix it (as you are already doing what you can, or you're just exhausted by it) and you just want a lended ear.
At least i do sometimes :)
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<3
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I, personally, would like to see you post here, only because I don't use FA.
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It is your choice! I follow you elsewhere so whatever makes you comfortable!
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Shadderstag
It's a personal choice for the artist in question. I hope you decide to give Weasyl a second chance though! The community can't grow and mature if people keep bailing over every disagreement. (And your art is awesome and I'd like to see it again lol)