Hello all you lovely furries~
I'll try to keep things as short as possible but it's been along while and I wanna give an update on what's going on in my life and my art~.
If you want the TLDR here are the topics in order:
* Why have I not been very active in quite a few years?
> Life problems
> Depression + Anxiety
> Being a caretaker for my Grandparents
> Lack of agency and freedom in my life
> ADHD and focus issues
> General lack of discipline
* What's my current life situation?
> Caretaking is no longer required and I can move out.
> Moving is happening soon (fingers crossed)
> Move is temporary though and I'm still seeking something better (and preferably out of florida >.>;;)
* What are my Art related goals moving forward?
> Successfully move out of grandparents house.
> Establish a more consistent art and streaming schedule.
> work on owed art and then get big art projects back underway along with general open commissions and "artist slave streams" back and going
> practice on more of my animation projects
> Get swallowtail vore variety magazines up and going again
> Other (3D art - 3D printer stuff - T-shirts - and more)
Oh and for quick reference here are the major places to find me~
My main art-site is inkbunny for now--
My streaming website is Picarto~!
My Discord server (where most of my updating on things has been happening).
>> So ya, let's get started by talking about my life story in short from the past 5 years.
Around 9 years ago I took my first steps into being a full time furry artist. It wasn't easy but I was driven and motivated type of person. Eager to take risks and try new things! The year 2018 would change so much in my life for the worse.
There was a month in my life during that year that I call my "Month from Hell". In short, almost every aspect of my life at that time -- except for my physical health (thankfully)-- was harmed.
My car suddenly died beyond repair leaving me without a vehicle.
The bike I had repaired got stolen from my home the very next day.
My graphics card failed -- my phone bricked -- my monitors fizzled -- my tablet broke -- my roomate's drier needed to be repaired.
I got "perma banned" from FA -- Causing me to think for a time my art career was basically over.
My beliefs around art and my physical well-being were attacked -- those who hate others for liking or drawing taboo fantasy subjects, enough to intervene in their life directly or send death threats.
Besides the mental trauma this alone would contribute, it was compounded thanks to a few friends, some very close friends near and dear to my heart, parting ways from my life. Years of friendship, possibly even life-changing relationships, gone because they could not accept that fantasy =/= reality.
Then amongst all that financial, social, and mental strain-- my attempted move out of the city was thwarted yet again by something going wrong on the other side. Leaving me with scant options as my roomates at the time (a couple) decided to go it alone (ironically they have broken up since then and I'm now moving in with one of those two). Seeing that this move has failed my Grandma reaches out to ask for me to move in with her and Grandpa. It's hard to say if they really had any other options besides me to help them but... at the time it felt more like I was a dog with his tail between his legs, forced to go move back in with family. Loosing my autonomy. But, with grandpa's failing mental and physical health, they really needed a caretaker and I was the only family available who needed a place AND worked from home...
There's more I could go into but the jist of it is, that month was LITERAL HELL for me and I can trace pretty much all my anxiety and depression from that one point in time 5 years ago. Much of the start of that couple years was me trying to get out of the dark hole I was in mentally. Eventually I went back to school in hopes to kickstart my art-drive, despite covid ending that path a year into graphic-design. I like to think now I have recovered my artistic desires from that dark time. It's still not the same as it once was but... I've improved for certain. Anxiety is much more in control now too with me taking strides to tackle my ADHD I've lived with since I was a kid (counseling and adderal have been a life changer in helping me reframe and better focus my life).
I'm still pretty broken from what I once was. My pure desire, motivation, drive isn't as strong as I remember it being. It may never be (hell, it might even be fabricated to a degree at this point.) But what matters is I've been moving forward, I'm making progress in my life. And I haven't given up.
BUT that's basically why these last 5 years have been such a shift in what you all see in my art output. Lack of communication not helping of course.
With my new possible rooming situation giving me back some form of autonomy again and no longer restrained due to being a caretaker, I'm eager to really push forward.
That all being said--