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Life Update and Future Art Plans - June 2023

Hello all you lovely furries~

I'll try to keep things as short as possible but it's been along while and I wanna give an update on what's going on in my life and my art~.

If you want the TLDR here are the topics in order:

* Why have I not been very active in quite a few years?
> Life problems
> Depression + Anxiety
> Being a caretaker for my Grandparents
> Lack of agency and freedom in my life
> ADHD and focus issues
> General lack of discipline

* What's my current life situation?
> Caretaking is no longer required and I can move out.
> Moving is happening soon (fingers crossed)
> Move is temporary though and I'm still seeking something better (and preferably out of florida >.>;;)

* What are my Art related goals moving forward?
> Successfully move out of grandparents house.
> Establish a more consistent art and streaming schedule.
> work on owed art and then get big art projects back underway along with general open commissions and "artist slave streams" back and going
> practice on more of my animation projects
> Get swallowtail vore variety magazines up and going again
> Other (3D art - 3D printer stuff - T-shirts - and more)

Oh and for quick reference here are the major places to find me~
My main art-site is inkbunny for now--
My streaming website is Picarto~!
My Discord server (where most of my updating on things has been happening).

>> So ya, let's get started by talking about my life story in short from the past 5 years.

Around 9 years ago I took my first steps into being a full time furry artist. It wasn't easy but I was driven and motivated type of person. Eager to take risks and try new things! The year 2018 would change so much in my life for the worse. 

There was a month in my life during that year that I call my "Month from Hell". In short, almost every aspect of my life at that time -- except for my physical health (thankfully)-- was harmed.
  My car suddenly died beyond repair leaving me without a vehicle.
  The bike I had repaired got stolen from my home the very next day.
  My graphics card failed -- my phone bricked -- my monitors fizzled -- my tablet broke -- my roomate's drier needed to be repaired.
  I got "perma banned" from FA -- Causing me to think for a time my art career was basically over.
  My beliefs around art and my physical well-being were attacked -- those who hate others for liking or drawing taboo fantasy subjects, enough to intervene in their life directly or send death threats. 
  Besides the mental trauma this alone would contribute, it was compounded thanks to a few friends, some very close friends near and dear to my heart, parting ways from my life. Years of friendship, possibly even life-changing relationships, gone because they could not accept that fantasy =/= reality. 

Then amongst all that financial, social, and mental strain-- my attempted move out of the city was thwarted yet again by something going wrong on the other side. Leaving me with scant options as my roomates at the time (a couple) decided to go it alone (ironically they have broken up since then and I'm now moving in with one of those two). Seeing that this move has failed my Grandma reaches out to ask for me to move in with her and Grandpa. It's hard to say if they really had any other options besides me to help them but... at the time it felt more like I was a dog with his tail between his legs, forced to go move back in with family. Loosing my autonomy. But, with grandpa's failing mental and physical health, they really needed a caretaker and I was the only family available who needed a place AND worked from home... 

There's more I could go into but the jist of it is, that month was LITERAL HELL for me and I can trace pretty much all my anxiety and depression from that one point in time 5 years ago. Much of the start of that couple years was me trying to get out of the dark hole I was in mentally. Eventually I went back to school in hopes to kickstart my art-drive, despite covid ending that path a year into graphic-design. I like to think now I have recovered my artistic desires from that dark time. It's still not the same as it once was but... I've improved for certain. Anxiety is much more in control now too with me taking strides to tackle my ADHD I've lived with since I was a kid (counseling and adderal have been a life changer in helping me reframe and better focus my life).

I'm still pretty broken from what I once was. My pure desire, motivation, drive isn't as strong as I remember it being. It may never be (hell, it might even be fabricated to a degree at this point.) But what matters is I've been moving forward, I'm making progress in my life. And I haven't given up. 

BUT that's basically why these last 5 years have been such a shift in what you all see in my art output. Lack of communication not helping of course. 
With my new possible rooming situation giving me back some form of autonomy again and no longer restrained due to being a caretaker, I'm eager to really push forward.

That all being said--

>> What is CURRENTLY happening in my life?
Well, Grandpa passed a while back and since then I've been sticking around mostly to help Grandma recover (mentally from her loss of a husband but also physically as she needed a knee replacement and got it soon after Grandpa's death). Now that she seems to be in a good place both in her physical health and mental, I've been trying for a while to take the opportunity to move out. Sadly, I've had the worse luck when it comes to moving out since I was 18 (I made a short comic detailing this horrible luck of mine, it's on my discord but maybe I'll post it elsewhere). 

Recently I've found a move that seems like it's actually happening. I'll be joining in an apartment as a roomate leaves, signing in on a new lease, and despite some minor delays, I might be moving in this week! So much of my attention is going to be towards the move and settling in this week.

That's the major thing currently happening that's affecting my life at this time. I can't really see any other major life events at the moment but I do know this move is temporary. The roomate is looking to leave the country possibly within a year so I'll still be looking for a more ideal living situation (who knows, maybe someday soon I'll find my ideal~ a home with other creatives/furry artists--voraphile enthusiasts even XD -- an actual home and help pay for a friend's mortgage and not have my money go into the sinkhole of renting apartments -- oh and ideally NOT IN FLORIDA D: )

>> What are my Art related goals moving forward?
After my move I'm gonna try and establish a more firm and strict streaming and art schedule. I was already doing this for a time and I plan to expand on it further. ( if you're curious~). My main priority for art though is going to be art that I've owed for a while now and have had to delay. I'm also thinking of setting up on one of those "Project status" websites to communicate my progress on these artworks~

Currently the owed art I'll be focusing on is the YCH Boner Bash -- The Halloween Art-drive -- and a handful of telegram stickers I still owe Artie the fox. 
During this I'll be siphoning in some work on emergency commissions I needed to get to help with my move (due to moving expenses and general debt). Needless to say these will definitely take a while to work all through. I'll have a list of said owed artwork after the move. 

Past that though I do wanna get my artist slave streams going again (or as I'm currently thinking of calling it "Draw or Digest" streams XD ).
Plus I want to get to work on a new art-pack, work on various comics like "Rite of Passage" (and others like "Way of the Wilds" -- "Festum" -- "Vortopia" ) as well as some personal projects like animation practice and more to do with some new characters of mine like Cid the Stoat~
But a lot of that might have to wait a long while as I have to focus on paying for my basic needs to live...

And well -- My personal needs to live including rent (which is definitely most of it) equate to about $1300 give or take, a month. Which does not count the fact that various taxes and fees want a large total chunk of my income which equates to about 30% of anything I make. So in reality I need to make about $1,690 a month to cover my living expenses. It's... Not gonna be easy, rent especially has gone up by ALOT since 5 years ago. But It's still possible. Just... ya... unless something magical happens (like this country suddenly passing a Universal Basic Income) most of my art time will be focused on commission work and personal projects or big comics and what not will probably not happen for a long while. 

That being said I may look into trying to get my Patreon going again to help fund said projects but... that's up in the air and I'm a bit unsure. I know I WILL be getting it properly going again once I start more regularly posting. I still at base line hope to use patreon as a way to share things early before it goes out public and with higher rez files (as well as sketch work, wips and the like). 

I will also mention that my prices as an artist have definitely changed (especially from 5 years ago). When I do come around to opening for general commissions again just know it's not gonna be the same Roco who was offering $30 wing-it commissions XD

But ya--~ that about sums up what's going on right now in my life! 

Oh and Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom definitely is trying to thwart my productivity at every turn D:

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    How ya doing, Roco? <3

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    also *steals your shout and follow virginities* >:3

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      Oh noes! *meeps!!*

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        *evil laugh* >:D