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Eros2000 ~ May MMII Issue by Prostapheresys (critique requested)

Eros2000 ~ May MMII Issue (critique requested)


Eros2000 is a fictional monthly magazine existing within my Avalon universe, sharing topics of fashion, lifestyle and most importantly, love!
Spreading love and beauty to all is it's main focus, and so unlike similar magazines, it is also full of erotic and sex-positive articles, with explicit interviews and photos of glamorous people regardless of gender or species.
This made it both revolutionary and scandalous amidst the general public, thus becoming one of the most known magazines out there in just a few years. Countless copies were distributed all over the world and the sales skyrocketed as they could appeal to any reader, shattering various taboos along the way.

What are you waiting for then? Buy your copy today, and get an exclusive read on some of the hottest characters and topics out there! ;P

We are not afraid of playing with fire! Which is why dared to enter one of Tzargshaznakk’s lairs, asking him all of the burning questions about dragons that no one has ever had the guts to ask face to face, and getting a sneak peak at his juicy loot…

(Interviewer) Oh my, here we go… the brave little interviewer confronting the big and menacing dragon…
(Tzargshaznakk) The name is Tzargshaznakk, and fear not, for I have already had lunch today… [chuckling and licking his lips]
Well, at least now I know my untimely demise won’t be inside a stomach… Anyway, let’s jump straight into the main topic of the interview: there are countless stories of fantasy and legends surrounding dragons from all over the world. Would you like to confirm or debunk some of the common myths about your species?
Of course!
Firstly, your kin is often portrayed as this powerful but cruel and evil creatures… how did this come to be?
In a way I do not blame people for that… Every good, successful story needs a powerful, frightening villain, am I right? Would the deeds of, say… the so called “Saint George” sound heroic if all he did was vanquishing a puny lizard in his story? No! It would have been only a silly and forgettable joke. And what greater villain to have than the pinnacle of creation, a dragon! The strongest, most powerful of all, near invulnerable… However, people should really wash their mouth before spitting “evil” at others when they themselves are not free from sin or guilt.
Hmm… this then brings me to the second myth, that you are greedy creatures, only thinking about accumulating more and more gold or other shiny riches for yourself only…
I say they are just envious of our fortune… My kin has been around for ages in this world, while humans and similar species only arrived yesterday in comparison! And yet they pretend to be just as smart and to know already how the world goes, or to easily and rapidly gain wealth and fame…
Ok, but you kind of dodged my question: do you confirm that you pile up huge amount of money just for the sake of it, correct?
And so what?!
I mean… what do you even use all that money for? You just collect it until dust starts to accumulate on them? If for example you were to devolve some for charity, you wouldn’t seem-
What I do with my money is my own business! [snarling] I don’t owe money to anyone… and I despise beggars… If you can’t earn it, you don’t deserve it!
Woah… fine then… well, since we’ve been talking about dragons in general, shall we now focus on you in particular?
Among those of your kin, you stand out a lot in many ways, like… uhm, your bipedal stance?
Ah, if you wonder why I am not standing on all fours, it is because unlike my brethren I was born as a gifted one, with uncanny magical powers that others only dream of… This allows me some shapeshifting, among other abilities... It is best this way, for I am not sure I would fit in this room otherwise. [chuckling]
Oh, now I understand! So not only you can fly and breathe fire, but you can even do magic!
Indeed, although I would refrain myself from “fire breathing”… Can you imagine literally breathing hot fire into your lungs?! That would mean pain! [thunderous laughter] It should rather be called “fire spitting”… but I assume that doesn’t sound as cool, does it?
Ah ah ah, you’re right! Now then… given your wealth and influence, have you ever considered pursuing a career in politics?
Oh believe me, it is in truth a recurring thought for me… but ultimately I always discard that possibility. I am sure that if I spent time and effort in it I could even benefit from it, but I find it to be too much of a stressful pursuit for me, and thus not interesting… Honestly, I feel so much above all the national and international skirmishing going on lately, I’d rather win people’s trust my way, you know?
Hmm… and what are some of the things you enjoy most then?
Oh… quite a few actually… though I doubt you would understand… I don’t even know if it is a good idea to tell you…
Come on, don’t act shy now! This is Eros2000 after all, it’s not like we never dealt if weird kinks before…
Fine then; one of my secret passions is collecting ivory, bones and skulls for decorative purposes or for jewellery… of course, before anyone freaks out, I should point out that the number one rule is always consent… so no creatures were harmed in the process. After all, they were already dead anyway…
Oh my, why am I suddenly beginning to shiver? Eheh…
I know, not everyone has my same fascination for the macabre… but I am very proud of my collection. Have you ever seen or heard of the Sedlec Ossuary? A true masterpiece… and the inspiration for the decorations I installed in my private lair…
This reminds of a certain thing I was told about you, I hope you don’t mind me asking… is it true that you might actually have some demonic blood in you?
Uh? Who dared to come up with such an insulting thought? [snarling]
A-ahem… never mind, it was only a rumour…
Then it is nothing more than that, a rumour! [shouting] I shall not waste my time on the subject… any more questions?!
Uhm… just one more, hopefully to end this interview with a lighter tone… perhaps even a little bit spicy…
Spicy you say?
Yeah… you see, me and some of my colleagues made a bet before this interview on who could better guess the dimensions of your… “draconic sausage”, if you know what I mean…
Ah… you just could not wait to see my formidable attributes from the photo set, could you…? [chuckling with an alluring grin] Well, since I can shapeshift, I might be able to make all of you happy…
But that way nobody wins, and it wouldn’t be funny! I suggest considering your “natural form” for reference, in order to declare a winner!
Very well! [playfully grinning] For the sake of curiosity, how much have you bet? And what are your guesses?
Only 10 Gilds, just for fun… the most daring bet being a whopping 40 inches in length, while the most modest was 25 inches in length. I personally betted on 30 inches for the length, because I believe the real deal is a massive 8 inches of thickness…
In this case… I am afraid to announce that you all lost! I am FAR bigger than what any of you imagined… [grinning with malice]
Oh my!

Writing and editing by me
Original artworks by adalfyre adalfyre (the dragon Tzargshaznakk) and by iggi iggi (Eyreen's face icon)
Characters © belong to me

Submission Information

Visual / Digital