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Saria's Walk by foxgamer01 (critique requested)

A huff of wind flew by, brushing a white and black Pokémon’s fur, as said Pokémon walked towards a city on her four legs. Her ruff felt an unusual tightness with a green scarf tied around her neck, with it holding onto a silver Pokéball with golden wings that had a green A engraved onto it. Her face, feline in designed, looked towards the city with yellow eyes as her long black claws clicked against the road to it.

She gave out a toothy grin as she wagged her scythe-like tail, and her single crescent horn hung by the side of her head. On the other side of her head hung beside one of her eyes was a bit of turf as if it was hair as the black oval, adorned on her forehead, glimmered in the winter’s sunlight.

Saria walked forward, as large as any Absol were, as her eyes looked down at the scarf, a gift from a friend of hers who also made one for her love. Her heart swelled at the thought of him as she reached the edge of the city, the road ahead empty of any humans and anthros.

Such a fantastic sight this city would’ve been in its prime. The buildings, as tall as 700 feet, scraped their way into the sky with the glass on them, reflecting as bright as the stars in the night. At the heart of the city stood a building, the tallest of them all at 2,000 feet tall, being so large and spacious that it could be considered a town within a city. Founded over two hundred years ago, this city’s leaders fifty years ago made a decades-long plan ending with that mega-building to make it the prime jewel of the country. Heck, the mega-skyscraper was so big that it could house the entire population of the capital. It impressed the country’s leaders to the point that there was serious consideration twenty years ago that the capital and all that entails moved to said megabuilding.

Such an amazing feat of construction. Such a shame that it had to be all for nothing.

The green A on her badge glowed as the Absol grew, with the unusual tightness around her neck released. Her height, once nearly four feet tall, doubled to eight feet within one second and doubled again to sixteen feet in another second. Soon, she sat down at an impressive twenty feet tall, with the nearby cars hopping and honking in response from the sudden quake.

“Oh, this is the best part of what I do,” Saria said in a singsong tone. “But why take it fast when I can just show-off?”

She wagged her tail before she walked into the city, her claws ripping the ground by a simple placement of a paw. Her tail swung in one direction, cutting and breaking through steel and glass in the process as her yellow eyes looked down at an old car that would have hold six anthros. She placed one of her paws on it, which only covered the roof of it, and grew again. The car groaned from the sudden weight, which worsens with each passing second until her paw encompassed the entire vehicle. She then curled her paw up, crunching the old car into a ball of plastic and steel, with the glass and the mirror shattering and the wheels exploding.

The Absol giggled to herself. “I wish I could say that they should make them like they used to, but it’s pointless if abandoned cars always ended up like this one.”

She then uncurled her paw and pressed down with all of her weight. The ground broke beneath as the remains screeched and groaned until it became fused itself into the road. The Absol, closer to thirty-five feet now, walked forward, with her growing larger with every passing second. If anyone saw her grin, they would run away in terror if not from her growing form. Her tail swayed to the other side of the road and ripped through more glass and steel as she exited one lane and entered another.

A shadow covered Saria as she looked upwards and saw an extension of two buildings on the opposite side of the road connecting them under one roof. She rolled her eyes before she emitted a laugh. Then, with one of her paws, she picked up a dusty fire truck and flung it up to that extension. It collided, and the extension bucked upwards from the impact, with the truck ripping through to the other side. What remained of that truck continued its flight until it slammed against another building, with said building’s side breaking inward into a crater. As it did so, the extension split apart into two and fell in front of Saria, slicing through the glass on both sides.

She grinned at the carnage. “Who would’ve thought that building a city like this is a bad idea? So much for housing the capital then.”

Saria spun around, her height approaching fifty feet tall, and kicked back what remained of that extension. It flew upwards, breaking apart into ever smaller pieces, and piercing through what they impacted, no matter how thick the walls were. The building ahead, the one that the truck crashed against, groaned before collapsing. Dust covered the surrounding areas, with it reaching up to her neck, as the collapsing building knocked down a couple of nearby buildings, one of them reminded Saria of a rude gesture.

“That wasn’t a serious loss at all,” Saria said before she laughed, the windows wiggling and cracking from the soundwave. “I wish Daren would enjoy this. This is awesome!”

She spun around again and walked forward, the Absol reaching up to sixty feet in height. The ground gave away to the ever-growing Absol, with the sides of the buildings now becoming closer to her body. She leaned her head to the side and giggled as her horn ripped through a building side. She then turned down the road before she paused and looked down.

Ahead stood an anthro with ragged clothes as Saria frowned. The anthro cat stood there, frozen with eyes as wide as baseballs and with an extra-large backpack against his back. Saria walked forward to the anthro cat, and he came to life for a second before falling back on his rear. She then leaned down, and her giant yellow eye looked over the figure.

“I-it’s true,” the cat stammered out. “It’s really true—”

“Didn’t think to meet someone like me?” Saria said with a soft voice. “Are you alone, or are there more idiots like you?”

“U-um,” the cat said, his eyes averting away from the glaring eye. “There’s a couple of others by the other side of this dump. There’s nowhere else to go.”

“Do me a favor and try to contact them,” Saria said, laying down on the ground, crushing the nearby small car with her body. “I’m sure that they’re smarter than you.”

“Um, miss?”

“What are you waiting for? Contact them.”

More cars collapsed and crushed between the Absol’s body and the buildings.

“I-I can’t help but notice that you’re growing and—”

A huff of air blew at him with a force that flung him several feet away.

“I know little one. Get out while you can.”

The cat gulped before getting back up on his two feet before running down the middle of the road.

Saria gave out a heavy sigh before she stood back up. Such people, whether humans or anthros, always bothered her with their lack of common sense. Her coming was national news for weeks, and everyone should have listened. Such a waste of time since this meeting delayed her for a few minutes—

The building crunched on both sides of the Absol as she gave out a yelp. Her limbs pinned between her body and the cold, empty skyscrapers, hung down as she gritted her teeth. She looked down at the anthro cat, who paused for a few seconds to shout a few words. She only her part of his message but, from what little she heard, she guessed what it was as she frowned and growled at herself.

“I tried to warn you, miss!”

Saria’s paws flex as the buildings creaked and broke against her growing form, now at over a hundred feet. She looked upward and saw the tall buildings shining above her with reflected light. She shook her head before she pushed out with all four legs, the steel bending against her strength. The Absol gritted her teeth as buildings leaned back against her. Her ears heard a snap, and the buildings fell downwards. They smashed against other structures, shattering in a mixture of steel, plastic, and glass, as they collapsed down to the ground. Dust then climbed up, even higher than before with it, despite growing up to 120 feet, reaching up to her face.

She shook her fur of any remains as she looked forward to the main star of this city, the megabuilding. She looked at her sides, now too wide to be able to walk down the roads like this. If she was more massive than 175 feet tall, she could have, but she wished to save her main growing event for the end. An idea then formed into her head, and she gave a wide grin.

She looked at what remained of the skyscrapers and, seeing one still intact, dug her claws into it. It groaned, and creek as the Absol climbed up the 500 feet tall building. Debris fell with shredded steel and plastic as she rose to the top, the holes she implanted in the buildings growing broader and deeper as she got higher. Her eyes looked on at disdained at the spiral top of the building before she looked forward to the mega-building, which made her feel small despite being 200 feet tall.

The Absol then leaped off of that building and onto the next, sometimes as high as 600 feet and sometimes as low as 400 feet, yet the results were the same. All the buildings Saria leaped to and from broke down and collapsed under the force and weight of the growing Absol. She laughed with every leap, knocking down any ugly buildings she got her paws on.

Soon, an hour after she came into the city and begun her destruction, she stood in front of the mega-skyscraper, painted black like some sort of obelisk. Such were the arrogance of the anthros who build it, who felt that it was indestructible and a symbol of infinite possibilities. But they overpaid the price and suffered for it.

Saria grinned as she pressed her paws in the middle of the walls and ripped it opened with some difficulty. She shook her head before diving in headfirst into the wall. Glass shattered, plastic splintered, and steel buckled, and yet the 300 feet tall Absol dug in further. In time, the scythe-like tail was what could be seen by any remaining onlookers before it zoomed back in. The building’s hole, shaped like some gaping mouth, seemed to consume the giant Absol hole.

The ground then shook, light at first before even cars at the edge of the city hopped up and down. A massive roar echoed throughout the place, with the buildings’ glass nearest to it shattering from the force of it, as the mega-building’ walls ripped off bit by bit as if it was shedding them. A horn then burst through the very roof of the building, which housed dead trees and plants, and knocked them aside. Then Saria’s head ripped through and gave out a mighty laugh. Her growth quickened during this period as her tail pierced out from one of the megabuilding’s walls. Soon, the entire building collapsed downwards, and there stood, in its place, a 2,000 feet tall Absol.

She laughed again, which gave out a forceful echoed. “Alright. Time for the grand finale!”

The Absol closed her eyes, and her fast growth became even faster, with her paws knocking down any buildings in its path. She grinned and leaned upwards as her tail wagged down, knocking down several tall buildings at once. In time, Saria stood at 5,000 feet tall as she then opened her eyes. She then sat down with a massive force, and the shockwave and the earthquake knocked down any remaining buildings in this city.

Such a great city in its prime, but now nothing remained but dust.

Her ears then heard a beeping sound from her badge as she gazed down at it. She then pressed it and smiled.

“Hello, Daren.”

“Hey there, dear. Is the city destroyed? Was no one there when you did it?”

“Yup! Not even two bricks stood on top of each other now. As for the other question, I met one guy, and he mentioned others. I don’t know if they got out or not.”

“Oh, dear. I’ll see if I can get someone to locate anyone around. In any case, our mission is done, and the abandoned city is no more. I hope they’ll make a forest in its place.”

Saria tilted her head and gave a small shrug. Despite the mega-skyscraper construction and the high hopes that it would be the capital, it soon proved to cost the city far more than its worth. The citizens left in droves over the past two decades because of the increasingly high price levels that even buying a single chicken leg there cost a regular city a month’s rent. Because of the dwindling citizens' number, it was passed over, which only increased the rate of citizens leaving. The homeless soon outnumbered even the homeowners despite the increasing empty rooms to buildings. It got down to the point that the country’s government offered her and A-Ninetales loads of money to demolish the city, which she accepted.

“I don’t know. I personally hope that they’ll do it right next time. Or, if they fail again, I get to destroy it all over again,” Saria said.

“You really enjoy destroying stuff, my dear,” A-Ninetales said in a teasing voice. “In any case, time to head out.”

Saria nodded and stood up again, walking down to the east without leaving behind a single pawprint. This is the best part of being a macro, she thought as her eyes shined. The ability to showcase that there’s no such thing as indestructible.

One day, she hoped, there will be a planet that needs demolishing. And she hoped that she’ll be there when it happens.

Saria's Walk (critique requested)


4 November 2019 at 17:48:13 MST

Here is another new story, one that I also wrote during my vacation in California (specifically the extended part of it), but now going to post it. Why did it take me so long? I honestly forgot about it and only just remembered it. ^.|.^;;;

Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy my story. =)

Submission Information

Literary / Story