maybe by insulting gays you'll have punishment by a higher authority? as far as telling someone they need to control themselves, that's insulting and judgemental. I see now that you meant well by it but it's still very condescending, mate. Look, being gay is hard. We catch flack from places we never thought we would. Don't you think that if any one of us could just change and be what socioty wanted we'd do it? But to do so means living a lie, and that is against god. God made gays too in my belief. He made us, just the way we are supposed to be, and where I personally find seperation with god is when I am not being myself, but rather trying to be something I am not. I did that for 28 years. Then one day I realized, "Hey, it's ok. This is who I am, and I still have friends, familly, and am actually at peace with god and my own soul." I would challenge any religion to explain that away. It's not a sin, it's not wrong, and it's not about "controlling ourselves." But, being muslim, I am sure that you have caught flack, right? Being muslim in this country is hard, especially after 9/11. What is the number one thing that you want from people? Let me take a gues. It's understanding, right? Nobody wants to be jusdged by people that do not understand them. You want understanding that those attacks were not indicitive of islamic people and you want acceptance of your practices and ways, right? Well, we want the same thing. We want to be allowed to marry, we want to be allowed to chose our partner, we want to be treated normally, and we want a shot at a normal life. We also want people who might have judgement for us in the religious sectors of life to actually get educated about what being gay really is about. Educated people don't judge because they understand.

Actually, that's untrue. And I was trying to be a friend but you've taken it badly. Shine, you're angry. Very angry, and that anger is coloring what you say and do and poisoning how you come off, and contrary to what you might think, I recognize that and I see it. Your personal experiences are irrelevant to the point that I am making, which is that you are letting what ever happened to you influence you this badly. Your answer back to me was....like an angry teenager. You have all this angst and you ooz it in everything you say and maybe you have a good reason to feel it, but this is you, NOT dealing with it constructively.

Now, I tried to be a friend and I tried to care, but I'm also starting to understand other opiniona about you too, so I'm gonna say this bluntly and only one time: I moved to this site to make it a POSITIVE EXPERIENCE. Do not bring negativity here. This journal wasn't about anything remotely similar to your falling out with people on FA, this site, OR this fandom, and I didn't want to hear all about how you were done with the fandome. If you wanna leave the fandome, than go. You're already doing a good job of alienating friends (like myself) obviously, so I'd say ya have a good head start. But do not mistake me for a person you can dump on. This journal was about issues I was dealing with and a real friend would be commenting on those. I will not have a friendship with you based on mutual bashing of the fandom, other people, or your problems. Take it elsewhere, Shine. No one wants you around when you're gonna be an emo, negative person. I consider you a friend, but don't think that you can get away with that kind of behavoire with me. Go. Sort out your demons. Leave the fandom if you have to. The door is open for the future, but DO NOT bring negativity into my life, alright? Alright.

And with that, if you argue back, I'll have to block you. Just go have yourself a niiiice long think before you say anything. Serious.

Come on Shine, this was a journal about Dusk leaving FA due to admin abuse. If you had your own issues with the admin there then by all means share our experiences! But as far as raging about your disgust with the fandom for how people are, whoa hold on there, cowboy. First of all, Dusk and I are members of the very fandom you are trashing. However we are very mature and respectful people. I'm sorry that you've had such negative experiences with relationships, but honey, you are damn right about not being able to compare life experieces with others, which Dusk was not doing, but let me break it down for you.

Dusk has had many bad relationships that never got started because the people that wanted him were little scummers. The little bottom feeding whatever you wish to call them, that wanted him for his nice things, or his family’s money, or just crazy. So get off that high horse of yours and realize other people have had it just as bad or as worse than you! Dusk was abused by his immediate family and people in school pretending to be his friends just so they could get lulz. And they weren't furries by the way. You want to avoid people taking advantage of you and avoid people that are obsessed with sex and don't treat you well as a person? Then find people that are!

Before I met Dusk I was...not monogomous. But I also found relationships that were emotionally and sexually fufilling, and all within the bounds of respect. Were they perfect? No. Was it storybook romance? Nope. Am I still friends with some of them? Sure, and just friends. The thing you fail to understand is, though you think using people like my boyfriend as a sounding board will save your problems, but in the end it is YOUR choice whether you are happy or not. You set your boundries as to what you expect in a relationship with someone, and if they do something skeevy then you let them know what a fuckface they are! People act like this EVERYWHERE, but especially in this fandom because they feel they are "outcasts" and that entitles them to act without consequence. They are able to make choices without consequences. That truth carries onto you. You want to be happy? Make yourself happy. You want respect? Don't let people take advantage of you, and make sure there are consequences. If someone’s an asshole to you at dinner and they still expect you to pay for their food? Make them buy their own goddamn oysters rockefeller. But you sure as hell need to stop feeling sorry for yourself. Teeny Weeny personal anecdote since ths thing tuned into a ‘Walk a mile in my shoes” thing.I've been through bad breakups. My first boyfriend out of my parents house, and in my own place broke up with me and took me off my lease even though I signed for it because he didn't have any goddamn credit, and I was homeless for almost a year. That was my first living on my own relationship. Did I feel sorry for myself? No because I couldn't afford to. I kept moving onwards and stayed positive lest I lose my job too, and get kicked out of the salvation army shelter with no job, no insurance, and no insulin. I would have died. Died, Shine.

How dare you pull that "You don't know what I've been through" jab, Shine, you don't know what Dusk had been through . You don’t know what I’ve been through. And that’s because it’s something we choose to NOT let get us down. Stop acting so damn pretentious and making your suffering your entire being. Be three-dimensional, and learn to deal with your problems constructively.