My apologies... dont mean to spam your inbox..

Something dumb just happened and It made me super mad, but also hilarious.

A drunk guy just came into firehouse (the local gallery I volunteer for). Now I've run into a LOT of drunk people before (we're open late at night and we're near some bars) So I wasnt expecting much.

He walks up to the counter, looks up at the artwork and looks at me. He then says "Why's it so ugly?" in a garbled barely decipherable voice. I look at him (he's drunk. he's stupid. whatever) and say "excuse me? can I help you?" and he proceeds to ask me if I work for the devil. I ask him why. He says it's because the gallery is for the devil. I was like... wat.

Wait.. it gets better.

After trying to decipher what he's saying I just play dumb and kept saying "sorry. I cant understand you" all the while he's asking me why I work for the devil. Also, that I was going to hell. (go figure) At this point I get really pissed off and say "well god showed me the afterlife and it doesnt include heaven or hell". (first time I tried weed I hallucinated for 48 hours and scared the shit out of my friends who smoked the same weed and didnt react to it as I did. I met god and yadda yadda people in tubes, the matrix whatever) Nonetheless, he was taken aback.

He said some garbled thing about god and the devil, hell, heaven, whatever. At this point I was PISSED. I was about to punch the guy right in the nads (he was short and very drunk. I could have taken him. knocked him on the ground and split his head open) I then say to him "HEY you know god's name right? god's name is Quinn. I met him. His name is Quinn. God is Dog, he's a dog guy who walks around and has yellow hair." (Quinn's just a character of mine who thinks he's god.) He literally stared at me, silent for 30 seconds. I thought he'd shut the fuck up. Then he was like... Quinn?? you worship Quinn??? And I was like. Yeah. God's name is Quinn.

About this point a friend walks in and tries to convince the guy he's bros with the devil and the devil is the coolest dude ever. I was just like.... oh my god what the fuck, this night is getting real interesting and I want to watch.

Long story short, friend left (for whatever reason. maybe he got pissed and didnt want to punch the dude. idk) so I was once again stuck with him.

He walks up to me and says all gharbled "do you use the restroom"
I say "restroom's down the hall"
then he says "do you use the restroom"
I was like ... YEAH. I PEE.
He said "God's in the restroom"
I said "DOES GOD MAKE YOU PEE?"
He then looks at me for a second.. "GOD MAKES YOU PEE"
And I was like. NO. EATING MAKES YOU USE THE RESTROOM.
And he said "NO. GOD MAKES YOU EAT."
At this point I was both pissed so bad and also trying not to laugh. It was an interesting experience.
I then try to explain to him how we eat and how it all works when I get interrupted...
"GOD MAKES THE FOOD INTO PEE"
I just get frustrated, and try to explain it to him again.
"NO. GOD MAKES THAT HAPPEN. YOU NEED GOD. YOU NEED TO BE SAVED"
I then just lean over and look at him "DO I NEED TO BE SAVED IN THE RESTROOM WHERE GOD IS"
He just kinda paced and gharbled some words I dont even know what it was.

I then change my strategy.
"I'M MOTHERFUCKING SATAN."
He actually starts talking about what's on my shirt.
I take out the picture of the weird fucked up cat that says taco bell and show it to him.
"IM SATAN MOTHERFUCKER"
He looks at me and says
"YOU MUST BE A LESBIAN."
He then grabs a mannequin head and proceeds to make out with it..

then he just left.

wat