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Finding my feet, so to speak by Ruggy

Haven't written one of these things yet. So, hello! I think I know most of the folks who follow me, but otherwise, greetings to those who I haven't spoken to yet! I'm Kirah, and I go by 'gorgonops' for the sole reason that gorgonops was a pretty rad genus.

I'm probably going to use this journal primarily for art-musings and various creative pursuits, as I reckon most folks really don't care about the minutiae of my life. I also tend to be long-winded, and for that I apologize in advance.

Art and I have been roughly like that one irritating couple that everyone knows, who've been on-again, off-again for the past decade and you ask, "Why don't they just commit, already?" Going to school for Fine Art (as someone with an interest in primarily illustration) burned me out something fierce, though.

Now I'm back at it, and feeling rather aimless. I suppose it's fitting that primarily what I've been interested in drawing is the silly animal people that got me interested in trying to get better at art in the first place. (Though now I feel more capable of banging my head up against the figurative wall that is drawing passable/specific human likenesses, which so vexed me as a young'un, so I've been doing some of that as well.)

But to what end? I don't know.

I remember writing a bunch of BS artist statements in school, and I don't think any of them really reflected what I was interested in. All I know is I've mostly been interested in portraying characters that appear to be distinct individuals, conveying who they are with an expression, body language, choice of clothing, actions, and etcetera. (And a lot of them are furries because why not.) Can I show what they're feeling with what's effectively a glance? (I don't know, but I try.)

Is that good enough? Maybe? It feels so petty compared to the grand sweeping statements I remember my classmates and I making, but it's at least true, unlike most of the artist's statements I wrote in past.

So, to TL;DR, if it seems like my gallery is somewhat scattershot as far as quality and subject matter goes... I agree. I really have no idea what I'm doing.

Finding my feet, so to speak

Ruggy

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  • Link

    Bliss.in.Oblivion

    <: It's okay lots of us don't know what we're doing. You'll fit in just fine! :D ahaha

    • Link

      Ruggy

      Whee! I feel weird if I don't qualify everything I do with, "I swear, I know I have a lot to learn, please don't assume I'm arrogant just because I mention that I've gone to school for this." And partly because I feel like I really ought to be better than I am, precisely because I have gone to school for this, ahaha.

      Learning never stops, though. At least, if you do it right.

      • Link

        Bliss.in.Oblivion

        Awww :c You don't seem arrogant at all about it though! I wouldn't worry <:
        Always something new to learn! C:

        • Link

          Ruggy

          Good! Back in my drama-trawling days, I used to come across invectives against people who refuted all criticism, waved their art degree around like it meant something, and still weren't very good. Not that I'm some arbiter of What Is Good And What Isn't, but humility never goes amiss, at least where creative works are concerned.

          (Part of it is also being perfectly aware that you get out of an art program what you put into it, and merely having completed a degree in Painting or whatever doesn't mean you're good at it.)

          • Link

            Bliss.in.Oblivion

            Ew >:C that sounds gross. I would hate to meet such people. >:I

  • Link

    QTMelon

    That is fine, all of us had to start and figure things out somehow. So glad to see you here regardless.

    Thanks so much for a journal that isn't a form letter. I never feel I know an artist that way instead of just letting us ramble. I remember these journals better due to that.

    • Link

      Ruggy

      I mean, I know my technical skills aren't that of a complete novice, but it really does feel like I'm having to figure out this whole 'art' thing all over again as far as my thought processes and ideas go. It's like remembering how to ride a bike, but you're back in a town where all of the roads have changed, you only recognize a few buildings, and you have no idea where you want to go.

      I get a guilty pleasure out of filling out form letters, but considering that I barely read them when they're posted, I figure there's not much point in my filling one out. (Why write something I wouldn't read?) They are difficult to remember details from, too, I agree.

  • Link

    RedSavage

    For me, I'm just a writer. Not sure in what form yet. Or even if I'm any good. But even if I do end up some beat-down mid-forties gas station attendant, I'll probably still be a writer, and as long as I got that I'm okay.

    Also, can't wait to see what you've got cookin'. Usually I like to explore certain themes and ideas in my writing--let the vague concept drive the work instead of any specific form. Not sure how well it translates to art, but my two cents on the subject anyhow.

    • Link

      Ruggy

      "But even if I do end up some beat-down mid-forties gas station attendant, I'll probably still be a writer, and as long as I got that I'm okay."

      I'm actually finally starting to get that sense back again. I'd lost it for a while, and felt utterly adrift as a human being. I still do, for the most part, but it seems that any creative pursuits we truly love will come skulking back eventually, like some pissy half-feral cat that knows where its food comes from.

      It's a reassuring feeling. So long as I can keep the lights on and keep myself in pencils or whatever, I think I'll be alright.

      I know I'm definitely interested in poking at more personal themes than I've allowed myself in past. I previously dismissed any overly personally-inspired ideas as emotional wank, but looking back at the work I made, it seems fairly glassy-eyed and just doesn't resonate with me anymore. I think I just had enough people tell me I should try drawing other things (in an attempt to get me to branch out, which I did need to do) that the message that really sunk in was, "What you are interested in is not good enough."

      So I've graduated and art's not what's paying my bills, so, hell. Time to just draw what I'm actually interested in, I guess.

      • Link

        RedSavage

        Well hey--go for it. Basically I learned a long time ago that everyone is always going to have a more ideal version of what you should be writing or drawing. Why not nice things? Why not marketable things?

        We fall into that and forget--it was never about that. It's always a good feeling to go back to that basic attitude.