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Sin, Reji, kindling, Uluri © uluri
Yesterday Reji wanted to talk to a friend of ours. First time he wanted to talk, so I typed what I heard. XD BUt i typed exactly what I heard instead of what he meant. So It was really funny.
Today Sin was being muffins. And Someone said something at some point today, but Kindling told me its fine and to keep drawing. I don't believe it was fine, but Kindling is the most trustworthy of them. I'm a little too Panic-attacky at the moment to deal with too many things right now.
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I'm 2.5 month in to slowly learning things, but perhaps look into DID. It's something that starts happening (usually in child years) through trauma. Ulu is also very new to this technically and like I'm having a hell of a time trying to figure out how to interact with people.
I was aware of what I thought was sleep walking around when i was 16, even though I woke up and my body was still moving a couple times. I realized now back in 2019 when "my head was noisy" and I got an MRI that came back squeaky clean that that was literally just them being Loud. And also, not remembering conversations I apparently have with my house folk I learned was because one of the others were here instead of me. My therapist had me writing about my days for 6 months when I had a HUGE discrepancy on memory at the end of March about a Convo with my brother I would NEVER have agreed with, and that's when I really knew something was up. I'm currently going through a lot of "oh... OH! Oh frik"
If you ask yourself a question, and someone else answers without you thinking about it, and it's not your own voice. Ah gosh, but like also, they're not around always. It's like they "go to sleep" or "walk out of the room" and sometimes (Especially in Kindlings case) hide. Kindling and Reji 100% were playing the 'dont let Uluri know they exist' game. I can't control who's around, they do that on their own. I also don't know for 100% certain that it's just the five of us. And I also don't know how exactly safe each of them are. As neat as it may seem to have "room mates" it has freaked me the hell out with who one of them particularly is, and Puppy. Who are both aggressive in different ways.
And I only asked my therapist because outside folks recognized me worrying about "Sleep me was sick" (it was actually puppy) was a little more... Unusual of a thing that I might've wanted to ask my therapist about.
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ah oki yeahh sounds like it could be that.. •_•; do be very careful if they decide on things that you don't particularly agree with, I've seen people with the disorder lose friends because someone else in control came in and fell out with the host's friends, or someone in control did something to really hurt them. all I can suggest is, it's best if you and your headmates come to some sorta agreement with each other and try to work together, but it's also important that they understand that it's best that the host remains in charge of everything and makes all the decisions in their life, that's unless the host asks advice ofcourse. sorry, not tryna be mean with the warnings, just sayin. just thought I'd give you a heads up incase anything goes wrong 'n' all.. ÓʌÒ; sorry if any of this came off mean or direct, I'm not really an expert but I hope the advice helps in some sorta way. again, not tryna be rude, but maybe your therapist or psychiatrist might be able to help with things like that too :o worth a try right?
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Nah, not taking any of this as mean. Therapist has just Moved up to Once a week currently, and we're focusing on this the past two months. I'm supposed to be working on Boundaries with everyone, but I'm finding it kind of really hard. (Like I don't know how to set them) Especially because I, myself, don't know how to handle it. I feel like I'm basically relearning how to interact with folks, too. But Also trying to figure out what all of the egos are doing and such. I can say It's been exhaustively overwhelming trying to figure out "Is this okay? How far is this allowed? How do I Handle this?" ANd BOY I definitely didn't handle some things the right way this week.
And as for friends, I def have my general Friend circle now in the know. I haven't told family yet because I'm not even sure how to even start that or which ones i even trust with that. And None of them seem to have secret account because I already knew about the ones they preferred using (And Reji lost his Password YEARS ago XD Neither of us know it). But it looks mostly like I'm the driver, and usually the other who seems to also be a driver pretended to keep everything normal anyways aside from slight....pranks.
I feel like i Lucked out on that.
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I have a question if that's okay!
I'm sorta like very new to the ego thing and don't really know alot about it :o do you know some things about having egos or are you learning about them too? :o do you think they're like tulpas in any way? sorry for alotta questions, I tend to be a very curious person ^-^; I think Izzy was starting to become a tulpa several times before, but he often reverted back to an imaginary friend ^w^; he's still one now mind you, maybe I just need to make more time for him. life can get really busy huh.. :o