An old poem, reflecting on an anhedonic mindset. At the time, I was feeling regretful at having ever had any sort of enjoyment in life and I was starting to think that total self-denial might have been better because then I wouldn't miss anything. I was starting to think that having ever had pleasure at all was a shame and a disappointment.

Oddly enough, though I've started to consider the merit of the Buddhist idea that attachment is suffering, I've also come to understand that you cannot grasp what attachment is unless you've experienced it, and that we can become attached to being detached as much as we can become attached to anything else. I don't avoid pleasure nor do I devote my life to seeking it; I just live life as it comes and when the best of times arrive, I enjoy them while they last.