When we left Michael Awesomerocks he had just ran over an elderly man protesting in the road as he sped towards Viridian Forest. Once he arrived however he found the grass in the forest was too tall for high speed biking so he threw his Katana into low gear. As he was cruising a rustling in the tall grass caught his attention.

"Alright!" said Mike, "A wild Pokemon!" The rustling grew closer as Mike pulled his bike over.

Suddenly a trainer leapt out at him and screamed "BATTLE!" Mike panicked as the trainer ran at him like a raving lunatic.

"Who the fuck are you?" inquired Mr. Awesomerocks.

"Go! Super bug Pokemon!" said the trainer.

"I said who the fuck are you, you creepy kid!"

The bug catcher ignored him and instead threw his pokeball. It bounced off the ground where out popped a Weedle.

"The fuck is that...?" Mike wondered as he synced his pokedex to his bluetooth headset. Its robot voice mumbled in his ear:

"Weedle, a worm bug thing. Pathetically weak, has poison, does some other shit."

"'Kay, no problem for Hoshizamihirigami," said Mike as he threw his own pokeball. Hoshizamihirigami emerged, ready for action.

"Use flamethrower!" said Mike.

Hoshizamihirigami looked at him and said, "Charmander!" which translates loosely to, "What'chu talkin' 'bout, Willis?"

"Mother fucker, you don't know that yet? Okay, just scratch his ass," Mike commanded.

Hoshizamihirigami used scratch and the Weedle got all cut up. Doubling back, it launched at Hoshizamihirigami with its poison head but Mike's Charmander knew it was coming so he dodged that shit. "Charmander!" said Hoshizamihirigami, meaning, "Mike, I don't think you know what you're doing. You have to use your Pokemon's type and strengths to your advantage."

"Just pimp slap his ass!" Mike said and Hoshizamihirigami wailed on the bitch. Next thing you know the Weedle was passed out on the ground and Hoshizamihirigami was super strong.

"Darn!" said the bug catcher, throwing some money at Mike Awesomerocks.

"Alright, we won our first battle!" Mike said.

"Charmander!" said Hoshizamihirigami: "And now you know all about Pokemon strengths, like my strong pimp hand!"

"And knowing is half the battle!" said G.I. Joe.

Then Michael turned to the bug catcher, "You still never told me who you are."

The trainer just stood there, saying nothing.

"Dude, we just battled, you can talk to me. I'm Mike."

The trainer still said nothing.

"Fuck you, bitch," Mike said as he pulled out his iPhone and called Samuel L. Jackson who arrived in a zeppelin.

"I've had enough of these motherfucking trees in this motherfucking forest!" he said and leveled the entire forest with his 9mm Barretta. The collateral was huge, and by huge I mean a shit-ton of dead Pokemon. On the plus side all the bug catchers were dead so Mike did some sweet wheelies and stuff on their corpses before continuing to Pewter City.