Michael Awesomerocks was just about to get his first Pokemon and start out on his journey. He was 18 because he spent 8 years doing awesome things like playing guitar and talking about women and hunting with a sawed off shotgun uzi. When he showed up at the lab he burst through the door and proclaimed, "Hey, Prof. Oak, you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes I did, Mike, I got a new shipment of pokemans for you," said the Professor, his lab coat perfectly accenting his square head.

"It's 'Pokemon' you English faggot. What kinds you got? I want one that shoots lasers and shit."

"We have a Charmander, it can shoot fire."

"Fire's good enough," said Michael as he picked up the pokeball and let the Pokemon out. Charmander came out and was all bright eyes and happy faced.

"I'm gonna name you Hoshizamihirigami," said Mike.

"Charmander!" said Hoshizamihirigami.

"Fantastic. Well, I dunno about you but I'm ready to go kick some ass. Let's get adventuring," Mike yelled.

"Mike, stop, you gotta take a pokedex with you it contains information and shit," said Prof. Oak.

"Your mom contains information and shit but I'm not bringing her along."

"God damn it, Mike, just take the fucking gadget."

"Does it have bluetooth?"

"Yes, it has bluetooth."

"Fuck yeah, bitch."

At this point a Ram 3500 burst through the wall of the lab with daisy-chained beer kegs occupying it's enormous bed. A drunken frat boy poked his head out the window and called, "Yo, Mike! It's me, your rival, Barry!"

"Gary!" Mike exclaimed.

"Yeah, whatever dude." Gary flung his head in the general direction of Prof. Oak, "Anyshwayz, I'm here to pick up my pokaymans uncle Prof!"

Prof. Oak threw a pokeball and pokedex to Gary, "Here you go, nephew. This one's a Squirtle, the water type should be good against Michael's Charmander."

"Seriously? What the fuck?" Mike said.

Gary laughed, "Sorry, bro! I don't make the rules!" with this he threw his truck in reverse, stuffed the tube leading to the barrels of Coors Light in his mouth, and blasted his stereo. "Smell ya later!"

"Time to get adventuring!" Mike Awesomerocks said. He returned Hoshizamihirigami, grabbed his pokedex, jumped on a Katana 600 and sped off in a wheelie. They were headed toward Viridian City but nearly ran over some motherfucker in the middle of the road. Mike stopped and got off his bike to see what the shithead was doing.

"You maniac, you nearly killed me!" exclaimed the frightened pedestrian. Mike sweat-dropped and face-planted and made that weird face where your eyes shrink and your hair leaks blue and some other gay ass anime shit.

"Sorry dude, where you headed?"

"Viridian, I work at the shop there."

"Hop on I'll give you a ride."

The pedestrian hopped on the bike with Mike and together they got to Viridian City in record time. Mike dropped the motherfucker off and went to see the city. After meeting the local chicks and wailing on some guitar solos on a Fender that happened to be conveniently located in the middle of town for awesome people he went to the local Pokemon Center.

"Yo sup, what is this place?" he said to the person at the counter.

"This is where we heal sick Pokemon, I'm Nurse Joy," said the nurse in the skimpy outfit.

"You can be my Joy any day."

"That was the worst pickup line ever," Joy said.

"Your mom is the worst pickup line ever. Besides I own a motorcycle so fuck you."

He then left and went to the mart.

"What the fuck is a mart?" he said to the shopkeep.

"It's where you buy supplies for your adventures!" said the spunky 16 year old behind the counter.

"Okay, I'm gonna need some... full heals I guess. I don't want Hoshizamihirigami to get hurt."

"We have none."

Mike looked a bit upset, "Okay, then how about some ultra balls, they sounded pretty awesome on the commercial."

"We don't carry those, sir."

Mike got kinda pissed, "What do you have, all this inexpensive junk? Okay, I'll have a few potions."

"We're sold out, sir," said the overly cheery kid.

"God mother fucking cunt banging damn it just what the fuck do you have?!" Mike burst out.

"Pokeballs! Every new trainer needs them to start their new adventure!" said the kid without so much as a flinch.

"I'm about to start the adventure of my foot up your ass you perky cum stain. Fuck this place," Mike stated.

"Have a nice day, sir," the kid said. Mike ran out, called Chuck Norris and Mr. T on his iPhone who arrived by a velociraptor helicopter, and watched them walk in the mart, causing it to explode.

Mike Awesomerocks then hopped on his bike and headed for Viridian forest. On the way he hit an old man lying in the middle of the road which improved his mood.