It's been hard. It's been really hard the past few days.
Handling depression and my own deeply etched insecurities has been a package too hard to carry but alot of past memories, keepsakes, regrets, and promises resurfaced within an instant yesterday. I wish I could've done more.

Yesterday at 12:14 am, one of my closest friends since middle school passed away in the hospital. Amongst our close group of 3, he was, like me and my other friend, the first and third member of our trio. We all basically found each other at the same time.

He was a great friend to have even if he was crass 9 times out of 10, but deep inside he was caring..to a fault. Due to unfortunate moments in his life, he took to heavy drinking. So much so that by the time he decided to move back home around a year ago, it was already too much to recover from.

Friday, he sat in my living room expressing how much he wanted to spend more time with us after being given 2 years by his doctor. I promised him I'd hang out more, definitely; That our other friend and I would make as many memories as we could. The night after, he had a heart attack.

Our friend and I went to the hospital come Sunday morning. They revealed he had at most two weeks. He was caring to a fault; didn't want to bother people. I regret I didn't plan anything immediately for the day after he came over.

We were both grateful to have been one of the only few people amongst family invited to see him at the wake. He didn't want people to see him in his state. We said our goodbyes, and left. I thought it was only right his mother had many of our dumb kid drawings together, as well as my cartridge of Kirby's Nightmare in Dreamland for the GBA, one of the first games we ever played together. He meant alot to more people than he thought. I'm happy to know at least he's not suffering anymore, that he's at peace. I wish I could've done more.

Work will come slowly but surely, I'm sorry.