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Always here... by Shadane

Always here...


As some of you may already know, my mother was pronounced dead on January 17th after a failed surgical procedure to try and save her life; she died at the age of 46 which was way too young. To this very moment, I'm still hurting from grief, because we've been together almost every single day now, and I was very reliant on her as a young adult, not yet ready to take on life. However, with her passing, I've had no choice but to say goodbye to my old life, and try to start a new one, uprooting everything to try and get on my feet, which is hard because I can't imagine life without her, and even now, I still want her back... She was supportive of my journey as an artist and animator since the beginning, and I contemplated quitting art altogether due to being too overwhelmed with grief to even attempt to continue, but I decided to keep going anyway, because that's probably what she would have wanted. I'll still continue to do art for her, but I'll never get over the loss of my mother. We had a lot of fun, enjoying the year 2023 up to the New Year, but I had no idea it would be her last. I saw her for the last time on the 24th to say my final goodbyes.

I drew this in tribute to my mom, she was fine with me making a fursona for her, not only because she fully accepted me as a furry artist, but also due to how difficult it is for me to draw humans. I always envisioned her as a cabbit-type kaiju, particularly a mountain lion and a hare, due to mountain lions resembling maneless lions, and our bond with her as a family was like a lion pride, and hares are known for their deceiving looks, appearing very sweet, yet being tough and determined creatures. We all miss her, but I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for my mom.

Submission Information

Visual / Digital


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    As someone who lost both my parents—I understand what you’re going through. As painful as it is, it will become more bearable (even if it never completely goes away) over time. Even though it’s been well over 20 years since my dad died—I’ll still have dreams about him and wake up crying.

    Hang in there and just wake up each morning a little bit stronger than you were the day before.

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      It's hard, but I'm doing the best I can, because my mom would have wanted me to be happy and cared for. I miss her so much though, and every day, I can't help but wish there was something I could have done to save her.

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        Yeah--that's a hard feeling to have. But knowing that you love her--no matter where she is now in that next life--I'm sure that's the most important feeling to have.

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    I'm very sorry for your loss. ~ Hugs you very tightly ~

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      It's okay, I just wish I could have saved my mom somehow.