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I find myself at a crossroads, in a way.

on 12 July 2014 at 12:30:22 MDT

I'm standing at a point right now where I'd really love to use most of my old characters again. I miss my old designs and even have a few ideas for updating them. I've got a few different "personal" representation characters and as much as I like my newest, Israel, she's not quite a proper "me" (I've even got some ideas on changing her up a little as well). Even this current handle is only a faction of myself. I've not really ever found myself completely immersed in "furries" or even "being a furry" but I've enjoyed the community for several years and have met a lot of really neat/interesting people. The characters I've created for myself in that time are all representative of some part of me or my interests and so I still have a certain attachment to all of them, if that makes sense? Even if I'm not into the whole "roleplaying" aspect or care much for the idea of having any sort of "totem" animal. I've just always really enjoyed the idea of having different ways of presenting oneself, especially in an almost anonymous way (I like to think that this kind of thing pops up often in the other parts of myself, particularly in how I found myself in TE fetishism but that's a tangent I'll address at another point perhaps).
My biggest issue in using my old designs mostly just lies in the fact that those aren't quite as anonymous as I wish they still were. By using them I would essentially be eliminating any aspect of comfort I take in this "community", even if I don't care to invest as much of my time into it as I once did and currently do with other interests. I've never been much of a fan of the rampant busybodyism that the whole "furry" thing tends to breed; I'm an adult and am quite past that point, so unfortunately my openness here is somewhat limited. At the same time, however, because I dislike that I'm still tempted to just throw it all out the window and just go about my business doing what it is I enjoy doing without worrying about what others' may have to say about me or my former self.
This is mostly rambling, so I apologize.

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