Well, HERE is some unexpected fanart. I didn't think I would do one for anything THIS fast, but after seeing the trailer, I just couldn't wait. Yeah, yeah, Zootopia's... just fine and all, but what about the REAL feat of animated features that has been bestowed upon us as Sausage Party? Truly... NOTHING will have us prepared for what will be the next masterpiece. I mean: Zootopia? Anomalisa? Inside Out? The LEGO Movie? Rango? Truly, they are NOTHING compared to the brilliance that is... Sausage Party. Don't believe me? Why not ask my good friend , whom with nothing but the kindness in his heart was lucky enough to read the leaked script for the aforementioned food-related stoke of genius, in this guest review that I will share with you right now:

"To all those who doubt that Sausage Party will be good: SHAME. SHAME ON YOU.

You only believe so because you lack the snobbish brainpower that us film lovers possess. How can you not see the brilliance behind a food orgy that lasts three pages? A scene that features the beautifully written line: "You want milk with that meat?" It brings a tear to my eye every time.

And don't get me started on the "controversial" racial stereotypes of food items: a Jewish bagel, an Arab lavash, the Mexican food aisle, a Native American bottle of alcohol, a box of Uncle Tom's Rice that speaks in broken English like a minstrel, and the sushi that commit suicide while shouting "BANZAI!" Pfft, you're clearly missing the big picture. This supermarket is a metaphor for the world and how we see others. Seth Rogen is a genius who has clearly taken a page from Zootopia's book and wishes to teach us lessons about discrimination.

Finally that brings me to Seth Rogen himself. He has the most powerful voice in cinema at this moment. From the breathtaking comedy This Is The End to The Interview, a political firebrand and this century's The Great Dictator, he is bringing strong light to Hollywood's darkness. Content? Nope. Creative expression? Nope. Seth Rogen chucks those away to let his mind go free and he is a true auteur! I'm not saying he's the next Orson Welles or Charlie Kaufman, though he is, but he is."

If that doesn't get you on the edge of your seat, then you're on the she of bullshit.

Also, Happy April Fools Day, everyone.

Sausage Party © (unfortunately) Sony
Art (unfortunately) by
Guest review by (fortunately)