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What Business Have You Here? by electronicfunk (critique requested)

What Business Have You Here? (critique requested)

electronicfunk

The vehicle stopped, lights blinding me. A door opened and a dark figure emerged. It had been a long, draining journey to the cold, desolate territory and I was thoroughly drained. All I could clearly make out where eyes, tired and watchful all the same, maybe even cold. As the snow crunched beneath the figure, I head it's voice, "What business have you here?" He called.

Bitter, frigid wind carried my words to him, "My name is Rush Conrad, I bear news most pertinent to you and your colony."

DA: http://swain-slave.deviantart.com/art/What-business-have-you-here-366518153

FA: http://www.furaffinity.net/view/10403155/

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