It’s been a long time coming, child.
So, you’re here on my page. I know how you feel. I’ve been there. I’ve done that.
You’re probably like, “WHO IS THIS GUY, WHATS HE ALL ABOUT?”. Yes. I know you’re yelling it to yourself. You’re so confused you even forgot to put an apostrophe on ‘whats’. This is completely normal. Totally.
I could answer that question in a heart-beat, but instead I’m going to give you this overly drawn out introduction. Why? Because that’s how I roll. I don’t actually ‘roll’. I can walk. Occasionally.
The more you know.
I’m Conte. If for any reason you did not realize that by this point – you can leave. I’d show you the door, but for the life of me, I don’t remember where it is. You can pronounce my name any way you like. Most people prefer ‘cunt’. Hell, just call me dick-head. We’re cool bro.
You can also call me David. That’s my name. Please wear it out. Please.
I’mma Jackal. I do Jackal things. Eat Jackal food. Drive Jackal cars. You know – the Jackal life.
Wait, wait. Take a deep breathe. I know, I know – you found someone who isn’t a GShep. Take this moment to award yourself. You deserve it.
My humble abode is in Indianapolis, Indiana. It always has been. Send help.
Oh yeah - I’m 23 years old. I keep getting older. I don’t know how to turn it off.
I currently work at a hospital. It’s pretty spiffy yo’. I make sure the hospital, along with others, have the surgical and medical items to work at high efficiency. That last sentence sounded intelligent.
I’ve been to many cons – I think. Yeah, no, I’m sure it’s been quite a few. You might have seen me, you might not have. If it’s the latter, we should change that. You’re living a dreary life if it’s the latter.
When I’m not living the dream or experiencing another day in the paradise that is my life – I do things.
These things include: bungee jumping, parachuting, and motorcycle racing…. Wait. Wait a minute. This is a list of things I’d die doing.
How about this? You can get to know me yourself so I don’t have to write it all down. This is hard work. I’m not getting paid for this.
No. Nevermind. One more thing. If you have an Xbox 360, do yourself a favor and add Contention to your friends list. You’ll never regret it.
I won’t let you. Ever.
Joined 23 January 2014