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the unnamed journey by 2382 (critique requested)

"Come on Helga can we hurry up I'm starving!"
"Soon Danny soon we'll be in the tavern just a another 15 miles." "You're kidding" "no sadly that's the way it is.
"Why I'm sure you being the grizzly bear you are Helga I bet you ate all the rations!" "why do I even take you anywhere?
Danny the raccoon you're more likely to Thief than me!" "Hey I thought we wouldn't talk about that incident back in the town over!"
"If you didn't steal the bread we could have stayed there thats why." As a screen for help is heard "I think that's are call. Danny"
"Oh come on you gotta be kidding me I haven't got food yet but okay!"
As they start to rush to the town to a see a beast with 3 heads 5 Hands 6eyes 7 mouths and 14 tails standing 35 feet tall.
As they see part of the buildings collapse and a little opossum girl crying for help "right Denny get me up to buidings ledge."
"You and your fat butt you going to break my back but ok." "Really now of all times!"
"okay don't be so grouchy" "she could be in danger let's move" as she's tossed up "I attack from behind you attack from the side."
"What" as he has multiple fish in his mouth. "You've got to be kidding me! Attack on the side" "okay I'll do that" carefully jumps on the building adjacent to hers.
As she starts to jump from ledge to ledge! Throwing electrified daggers but with tad bit of poison.
Causing the Beast to notice useing it's limited Mobility tries to swat at her with tail. Causing one of the buildings to collapse.
As she falls as on the other side we hear a roar of pain from the Beast.

As he's trapped in Vine and being pulled forward paralyzed from electrified dosage slashing all over the place.
"hold the position bring it in nice and slowly Danny" "okay" "I am glad to just of got a couple scrapes and cuts."
"Right let's use our erthaerl combined that should sealed up into a cube." "And then we can eat it?"
"No even though it might replenish us little bit. but we can sell it or find one of those very special places. That we can trade it for something."
"Yeah you're right" it is medium size could easily can get 10,000 out of it. That will cover for food and lodging for a month"
As they begin to seal it up as we see a cube of crystal emitting electricity inside of it slowly shrieking the Beast and the Crystal.
But halfway through it we see the Beast snap a tail out of it causing a Breaking in crystal!
Making the bear woozy as the opossum is saying "no no don't do this" as Danny looks at the child. "I don't want to lose anything else."
As the opossums eyes turn the same color as the beast as a beast lays completely still. As Danny looks in shock but ignores.
As he is finishing the sealing as a child faints and so does the bear "Haha ha luckily only one of us need to be awake.
I feel tired i am going to have to ask a lot later" passes out.
As Dannny is the first one to wake up seing the cube the other two asleep decides to go to destroyed remains of an old inn to rest them down.
"we pushed ourself a whole lot you and I. Child when you wake up I have a lot to ask you how are you even able to do that? Why did you do that?
I am bleeding somewhat bad from overuse. I have a deep cut on my leg but all that eating his push more blood in my body.
Grabs a blanket time to stop the bleeding makes a tourniquet with the blanket.
Luckly you two are okay that's good just some scrapes and bruises.
Slightly higher than normal temperature on you child both of you should make it out ok. Well I better find some food for you two. No one else is here must have ran.
I need to go outside the town see's some berries and some mushrooms carefully Harvests them.
That should do for food for them. Next goes to local River and right there's the water they might be out for a day or two."
"Rest easy for now I'll go to the town over puts down the food and water you watch the girl okay holga I know you always get mad when I leave you alone.
That's why I write this all down and by the time you hear from me hopefully I've got some medical help.
"You've gotta be kidding me leaveing me alone" "gaahhhhhh why!"
"So he won't be coming back for a while "yeah you're right kid. For a while" "Can I go with you?"
Looks a little bit in shock but I understands "yeah we'll be going into town over so you don't need to be alone."
"Okay can I call you mom" looks more in shock "yah if it makes you feel better."

the unnamed journey (critique requested)

2382

hort but sweet feel free to critique rewrite remix draw fanart
make your own OC, custom story, or anything else you could think of
but do link back to me so I could see it and fav it but do leave critique

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