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A little story I wrote up over some free time the last couple nights, this little story tells part of the backstory for my character Novitas. She has the wonderful position of being one of my few future sci-fi characters. This isn't the end, merely the beginning. Poor Novi.
So I have quite a large amount of characters, most of which have interesting circumstances for how they came to be. I'd like to start writing more of them out, starting with doing the next part of Novi. For those of you who are still with me this far, what do you think?
The way I wrote this is perhaps unusual or unorthodox, but I felt like this was the best way to portray the events at the time so I hope everyone enjoyed reading this part of the tale.
Cover Artwork and thumbnail thanks to my lovely Fiance
Submission Information
- Views:
- 386
- Comments:
- 9
- Favorites:
- 2
- Rating:
- General
- Category:
- Literary / Story
Comments
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Excellent, I'm glad to hear that. To both comments.
I'd love to do them, it's just a matter of deciding which ones to do perhaps.
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I would like to ask you, have you by chance played Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic? The way in which you wrote and structured this story reminds me of the various holo records you would encounter throughout the game.
In fact, I have found this song to be a joy to listen while reading your work: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BxInbqx7UVw
It felt fitting, and it filled the atmosphere with an extra layer of heaviness and dread.
(Hah, now nostalgia kicks in and I am reminded of those countless logs, especially on KOTOR2 on the Mining Facility)Anyway, I would have to thank Sparkyopteryx for pointing me to this work of yours. It is, and I dare say, exquisite and overtly finespun.
I would like to offer my commendations for the style you employed, and the way you structured this work, adding a (if I may) Second Person narrative perspective where you view the story from the perspective of the receiver. I found myself immersed right into this lugubriously somber science fiction setting and found myself placed as a character viewing the logs as they unfold before my eyes. This has added to the elegantly gradual increase of tension.
You really did a good job with the details, especially with how you described the sheer pain and its manifestations. The parts describing regurgitation were quite a pinnacle to all that. I could clearly distinguish, or at least, imagine the torment through which the woman must have been through.
It was a very unsettling story, and I loved that.
The language was varied, by the way, and succulent.
Overall, I dare say, Rilvor: Wonderful work, you have here! Congratulations!
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I have not, although I have heard they are quite the beloved games! My love of Sci-Fi would be the influence for it I suppose haha.
And I appreciate the fact she did such a thing greatly! And equally for you for reading!
I am glad to hear that the air of tension I was going for was noticeable, and I really wanted to hear thoughts on the less pleasant details.
The way you sum up your thoughts and the commentary you give is so very admirable, I find it inspiring! Thank you again for reading and leaving such a delightfully thoughtful response.
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Star Wars Knight of the Old Republic is basically Dragon Age in Space... or a Sci-Fi Dragon Age game, to put it bluntly. A rather interesting and gripping game.
There was one thing which struck me specifically as something peculiar and perplexing in your story and that was the manner in which the woman turned into that gelatinous form. I am very curious to hear the biological/anatomical/technological details involving the change, the nanites and all.
It was a pleasure to read it. Looking forward to see creations from you in the future as well!
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I promise you that the details are in fact thought out and were merely not outlined in this entry, but in upcoming writing for this subject it should be brought to light!
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Ha ha, I was most certain they were meticulously thought out! That is precisely why I am so curious about them.
Looking forward to it!
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Sparkyopteryx
Yeeesss. I'm glad to see this in my inbox finally. Your pacing and unusual narrative choice entirely makes this and frames the mounting horror and tension in the best way possible. You're showing steady improvement, and I think you seem to especially do well with dark sci-fi themes more than anything.
I would love to see you do more intros or vignettes of characters and situations, horror or not.