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Torn apart by Weeburd
It feels as though I've been ripped inside out.
Sleeping is hard but being awake is even harder. My stomach is tied in knots when I'm awake and it makes staying interested in things really, really hard.
I can't sleep because I replay everything and try to figure out how to fix it... but I can't fix it.
I can't ever have her back.
I lost and i don't know what i did to deserve it.
I'm back in the slump I was in when my grandad passed away and it's just not any good at all.
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Comments
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Going to second what Sparta said. and add: this isn't because of anything you did. This isn't some grand punishment because you didn't tip the bag lady or something. It's unfortunately something that sometimes happens in relationships. I know it's tempting to dwell on the "but what if I had done this" scenarios but those will only lead your mind in useless circles because there's no changing the past.
Focus on the present for now. Don't even worry about the future just yet. Just worry about getting through each day to the best of your ability <3
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The two previous commenters have said some very good and very true things <3
I know right now you feel like you've lost the love of your life, but if she truly was that, she wouldn't have mistreated you like that. You are worthy of so much more.
This too shall pass. Right now it sucks, and you're hurting, and you're allowed to do that. In time you will heal. And I'm here every step of the way, I promise you <3
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I haven't been in your situation before so I can't really offer specific advice, except that others have spoken well. I hope that you can come to feel better soon and are not too harsh on yourself, since you don't seem like you deserve that. Well wishes.
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I'm so sorry.
I remember this time last year I was in a very bad place, and you kindly offered your time on Skype.
I'm still very grateful for that offer, and very sorry I couldn't repay the favour.
I'm thinking of you, and wishing you well xxx
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you got people with you who want to help you. i hope you find rest soon. i've lost a family member this past year and know that any kind of loss is difficult, and i wish you well.
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I don't know what is going on for you other than what I can read between the lines here, but know that you will get through this and that there are people who support you. If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here.
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SpartaDog
I know it's hard but you have to believe it will pass. You deserve someone who will be unequivocally loyal and awesome at communication. And you'll find that someone and love them just as much, if not more.