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Depression: Know any open artists who draw cute things? by BlueNire
About the cute commission: I only have 20 bucks too work within ( so I'm on a budget) but does anyone know an artist who's open for commissions, who's really good at cute things?
Could be MLP for all I care or... I dunno!... Just something that'll make your teeth ache!
Thank you! (I just don't really know very many artists open right now o.o)
So now I'm gonna talk about Depression.
No one likes to talk about depression and no one wants to hear about it.
BUT I'm gonna. (oh noes! FLEE WHILE YOU CAN!)
Or at least MY version of it.
I've had it since I was 12.
Been medicated for it for about 15 years out of the 18 years I've had it. (non-medicated now.)
It's this weird disease-thing that makes your good days bad ones.
I've noticed that my episodes aren't triggered by anything.
It just comes and goes on a whim, like a tide, at any time and any moment.
Even if you've trained yourself to be able to step out of your mind (which 90% of the time, I can..thank goodness!) and realize you're "just being depressed again", it's still so very frustrating.
So the self, apart from yourself, just stands there as your body suffers and waits.
and waits.
and waits.
Sometimes it takes minutes, sometimes days, sometimes it feels like forever.
Then-one day it'll be gone for a while. The birds are chirping, animals are suddenly cuter that ever, and coffee never tasted so good in your entire life. My mind can meld safely back together and everything feels as it should be.
For a while and that wonderful, glorious little while is why I'm still here. :)
The weird thing is that even during an episode I try to always at least present myself relatively optimistically.
As I grow older I feel I'm getting better and better at hiding my symptoms from others, and I imagine at some point I'll be so good at it that no one will even know I suffer from depression, even my own mate.
Fake it till you make it? Maybe. I'm hopeful.
If you know anyone who is depressed, or suffers from depression....
Just please try to be patient with them ...
Please don't tell them to "just get over it" because that isn't how this works and generally makes the person feel worse. Their mind is already riddled with their own self-destructive thoughts, without having to add your words to the mix.
They'll need time.
Time for the "depression ghost" to get bored and move to something else for a while.
I'm NOT trying to say that trying to comfort them isn't something you shouldn't do either but.... from my experiences all the comfort in the world doesn't help as much as time does.
Of course, I would/do remember the people who did/do try to comfort me during my spells anyway, even if they know it won't help sometimes... I remember them. I'm so very grateful to these people. Heck, I married one of those types of people. XD (My mate.)
What's really helped for me ( and how I've managed to function off medicine) was learning how to step out of myself mentally.
"Why am I feeling so terrible? ...Oh. I am having a depressed moment/thought." and I'll actively seek things that help me feel better.
I"m fortunate that my mate knows when I'm in a moment and they'll often try to talk me through it (-He finds the process academically interesting! Weird! Like a game of some sort.) "Okay..why are you feeling this?" "Well is that true?" "No, of course not.." "What else is going through your head?" " Is that true? really think about it" " No ...see?"
I wish I could say that this thing is curable, but the world doesn't like to look at it, and the world will need to take a good look at it to fix it.
Some people don't even believe depression is real, and others feel it's a built in species mechanism to help "weed out the bad apples". ( No, I'm totally serious. I've been told personally that "depression" is gods way of culling the population.)
Can you train yourself to learn to coexist with it and function? I'd like to think that I'm a decent example. :)
I function during an episode- I can take care of my family, and go to work, and interact with normally with people not realizing.
It does feel a bit two-faced sometimes but...it's my disease and aside from people like my mate who understand what's going on, it seems like a weird scary thing to most people. "Mental illness"...that scares people sometimes.
::shrugs:: I"m not sure what I'm getting at.
I guess. I just want to say..
Hello,
My name is Erin.
I've suffered from depression most of my life.
I am still here.
I still find joy.
I still have found love.
I still have happy days.
There will always be people who will love you, and be friends with you anyway.
I am proof of this.
And for those who don't suffer from depression, I promise you that even though I suffer from this "mental illness" I am probably the least scary person you'll ever meet in your entire life. :)
Please take care,
Love,
Nire
aka often lovingly referred to as "Eeyore"
Journal Information
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Comments
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That is ADORABLE! Thank you for sharing! Unfortunately I've already found someone who is working with me at them moment, but I really appreciate you and will try to keep you in mind in the future!
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Thank you for sharing! You do excellent work! Unfortunately I've already found someone who is working with me at them moment, but I really appreciate you and will try to keep you in mind in the future!
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no problem! I appreciate you keeping me in mind, and hope you feel better!
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Aww, what an excellent journal! Depression does suck, I'm pretty much a "lifer" too though, but I feel like I've come to deal with it very well. I haven't been on any (prescribed) medication for years now, and I'm really glad; that stuff usually made me feel even worse. I do smoke a pretty massive amount of marijuana though, and that has been such a huge help. I know it tends to make a lot of people more anxious, but if I'm having an especially bad day or mental attitude it helps me chill out and take a step back so I can look at the big picture.
I think I've also mostly identified my triggers as well, and in some ways it's kind of disheartening to think about too much, since for me it has to do with Western society and I'm pretty much stuck right in the middle of it. I know I can't do a damn thing about history, be it the near genocide of the native peoples that it took to populate and create this "great" nation I currently live in, or the ongoing atrocities people are committing in regards to the environment. Just makes me feel so hypocritical and sad sometimes to be bashing a bunch of stuff that I'm just as much a part of. Just gotta not get trapped in the vortex of bad thoughts! That's nice that you can talk your way through things, especially with your partner. Feels so good to have someone there no matter what. :)
hehe, long reply, it was just such a good journal! I dunno any cute artists though, and I'm certainly not one of them :P
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Also, you may have seen this before but this always cheers me up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WYcWA_RNl1s
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OMG I LOVE THAT BIRDY! I"ve seen 'im around before!! (Yes his little videos always cheer me up!)
How about this one-have you see this one?-http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=3L7VJl76i9U
That one cheers me up too!! Also any video with a happy goat in it XD
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Aww, what an excellent journal! Depression does suck, I'm pretty much a "lifer" too though, but I feel like I've come to deal with it very well. I haven't been on any (prescribed) medication for years now, and I'm really glad; that stuff usually made me feel even worse. I do smoke a pretty massive amount of marijuana though, and that has been such a huge help. I know it tends to make a lot of people more anxious, but if I'm having an especially bad day or mental attitude it helps me chill out and take a step back so I can look at the big picture.
THANKS SO MUCH! Seriously thank you!! I'm sorry you're a "lifer" but I"m glad that you're finding ways that help you out!
I actually have tried Marijuana for my depression and anxiety as well! (Because like you, I've known several people that just do beautifully on it!)
Sadly, I don't know if the batch I got was laced with anything but...I tell ya what... I had a BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD trip on some and.....gods it was....it was so horrible.
Now I'm terrified of trying it again. So....I could just be one of those people...I'm so happy it works well for you though. (and for many others)I think I've also mostly identified my triggers as well, and in some ways it's kind of disheartening to think about too much, since for me it has to do with Western society and I'm pretty much stuck right in the middle of it. I know I can't do a damn thing about history, be it the near genocide of the native peoples that it took to populate and create this "great" nation I currently live in, or the ongoing atrocities people are committing in regards to the environment. Just makes me feel so hypocritical and sad sometimes to be bashing a bunch of stuff that I'm just as much a part of. Just gotta not get trapped in the vortex of bad thoughts! That's nice that you can talk your way through things, especially with your partner. Feels so good to have someone there no matter what. :)
AAUGH YOU POOR DEAR! I I....can't even begin to say anything about the atrocities in our history that have happened. I can't....even...I'd just cry and that wouldn't do a damned thing to change anything.
I've already talked to you about how I'd love to live in a place where I can live significantly "off the grid"....I'd be up for trying to live in a way that isn't detrimental to the environment.
But-. Like you've touched on it's extremely hard to do that when you live in the middle of all this. ::motions to cities and things::. I'd really love to find a community that tries to live peacefully with the environment but unfortunately the ones I've found are either in another country, a bit "cult-ish". or they won't let you use any modern devices.. Which....I feel strongly that humans are smart enough to figure out how to coexist with the environment, and still be able to grow technologically, but they're just too lazy because burning fossil fuels is so damned easy. >.< argh..
Anyway...
I feel ya'... :(
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i can do cute art for almost any budget! my sketches are $15, my icons are $10 for simple or $20 for detailed. i might also be convinced to do a little chibi thing a bit bigger than icon size for $20.
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sorry i cant help on the artist front ;o;
but as for the rest. i am actually very very similar to this. you and i are both lucky (just speaking from what i read here, sorry if i assume/overstep!) and we have the ability to fake it until we make it. i know so many people that cannot do this though and even though i struggle myself it is the HARDEST thing to try and "deal with" (i use that in a non-negative way). the thing i want most is to be able to help because i know how they feel, but it's exactly as you said - only time can fix some things. i've had some very very close friends that just don't have that part in their mentality to be like "it's ok, i can still do my job. still get out of bed. take care of this and this. etc" i credit my absolute stubbornness to my success. 100%. i'm just too damn stubborn to let it get to me. like i can feel it but i have another half of me that can kind of beat up that part and say "no. stop it. do what you need to do." granted it usually means i procrastinate things until last minute XD but i guess it works. but my closest, long term friend was the worst case for sure i've tried to help with and she did finally take my advice and get counseling and after that oh my gosh leaps and bounds. she still makes me happy to this day to know she's not hurting herself and she's, in general, very happy to be alive.
mine really comes out in being overwhelmed by cleanliness and change. i also have ocd...and unfortunately it's NOT the rare cleanliness version x.x i get really super overwhelmed when it comes to cleaning and i KNOW it's illogical. i've timed myself to prove it. but sometimes i'm just like omg i can't do it i don't know where to start. thankfully that's when my mom will come over and help me. ocd basically puts me in a really strong state of anxiety because it's not clean/organized enough but it's overwhelming at the same time and that's when depression kinda kicks me in the rear...and vicious circle XD
i'm like you in the way that i remember people who are there for me even if i'm still "being a butthead" at the time. so yeah, i can only hope people will never give up on me because they KNOW how much it means to me. they can see it when i'm not in a depressive/anxious state. luckily my partner is one of them. he's lasted the longest out of any relationship (friendship or partnership) because he will straight up not let me have my way when i start throwing fits about how i'm not good enough or how he could do so much better, etc. he will just be like "you know you're not going to get rid of me right?" and FINALLY i've nearly stopped doing it! it just took someone to "prove" to me they WEREN'T going to abandon me forever. (yeah, trust/abandonment issues too :V)
so...all that blabbing said: i know mostly how you feel (from what you've said here) and those good days are freaking amazing <333 and i'm so glad that i can help people back even if it may not seem like it at the same time. i feel like as difficult as i know i have been it gives me a way to give back. to be someone that can say, "i know what you're going through and it's going to be alright." i've also found that cats work for this...honest to god my cats have probably saved my life. (had anger issues too...OMG I JUST HAVE TOO MANY PROBLEMS XD) without them i'd probably have been put in prison by now for something x.x so when words can't help...grab a willing cat belly! x3
sorry this was long and possibly incoherent. i ramble
sometimesall the time ;o;-
-BEAR HUGS!-
I have a friend who's OCD, so I can understand a little bit about your frustrations!! They're also a compulsive cleaner/sorter and my heart goes out to you, and them and anyone who suffers from it.
I've heard they've come out with some new ways to help with OCD recently..I'd have to look it up....I think it had to do with zapping portions of the brain that are over-acting and the human brain is so wonderful it'll adjust and for those patients, it's amaaaazing!! (I CAN"T FIND IT UGH! but when I find it, I'll show it to you!)Thank the GODS for the people who are understanding, yes? Sounds like you're surrounded by wonderful people and I'd shake their hands vigorously and say-straight in the eyes-thank you for taking care of her and being so awesome and understanding! I just...I am lucky that I also have someone like that in my life (I have abandonment issues like you wouldn't believe) and to have someone who just says " NO I"M NOT GOING!" is.. Incredible. Thank your partner for me please, because people like them are just. Saints....above and beyond what is expected of them and they're just angels on earth!! :D
I'm thankful both of us have learned how to work with these issues. Very very grateful! I think it's funny you mention cats because I'm pretty much the same way! ( Although I like a wide range of animals!) ...cats bizarre and hilarious though. So they're super fun to observe. (I could write a comic about the weird things they do!)
Aaah, Atarashi.. My heart just pours out to you and I'd give you a big hug (if that's okay of course!) and shake hands with your partner.
-HUGS--
oh yes, i love hugs :D! and luckily my ocd isn't that bad, it's actually gotten a lot better as i've gotten older. i still have to eat candy in backwards rainbow order though... ._. mostly it's just translated into anxiety now. omg ok except, small story. this stupid @!#(&! i work with is literally 60 something and acts like a child. she realized a while back that i had ocd tendencies so she INTENTIONALLY messes with the stuff i work with just to "piss me off". after i told my boss dozens of times i'm the one who got in trouble |: as soon as she got pulled into the office she was all "i don't know what you're talking about. i don't even know why you don't like me." and i'm just like |: i've told you loads of times...and the other people working with you will agree. glad that's my fault |: i guess at least she's maybe stopped for now /sorta ranting >.< that's when mine kinda rears it's ugly head. when other people break into my routine especially if it's done intentionally.
OTHERWISE i've been pretty lucky XD and yes, my partner helps an unbelievable amount ;o; but so do people like you :V! -big hugs back!!- we can be lucky with some things :D
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-big internet hug... like a blanket made for forts-
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DAAAW :HUGS:: ::makes a couch cushion fort and invites in for stories and cookies::
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I don't know if you're at all interested in my style, but I could draw you art for free?
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Thank you soooo very very much for the offer that's incredibly sweet of you!! Unfortunately I've already found someone who is working with me at them moment, but I really appreciate you offering!
I just couldn't impost on you (even if the offer is free!) I ....I squirm when free art is offered to me! I'm delighted and overwhelmed but I also feel that it isn't right of me to accept? Y'know? I mean if someone just DOES it as a gift I explode with thanks and I'm so very grateful but I just......I could never TELL someone " hey yeah, I'll take that free art!" because you should be compensated fro your time, properly! :D I hope that makes sense!-
Yes it does and I understand completely. <3
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I could do a chibi? If that's the sort of cute you like, anyway.
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OH MY GAW!! ::facepalms:: if only!! nrrg!! You do excellent work, I love your stuff!! Unfortunately I've already found someone who is working with me at them moment, but I really appreciate you and will try to keep you in mind in the future!!!! Gosh darn! XD
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I could draw you something, I'm an expert on cute lol. What do you have in mind?
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DAAAW :HUGS: I couldn't possibly impose!! Besides, unfortunately, I've already found someone who is working with me at them moment (for my $20), but I really appreciate you being so kind and offering your services!! <3
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<3 I'll draw some cute are for you <3
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AAW!! You are such a precious and sweet person! Thank you soooo very very much for the offer that's incredibly sweet of you!!
Unfortunately I've already found someone (and thrown my money away) who is working with me at them moment, but I really appreciate you offering!
<3 <3 You're so sweeeet! :D :hug:
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I've never been diagnosed with depression or anxiety, but I know from talking to others that I've dealt with both many many times. It's rough, it sucks, and it's something I wish no one ever has to go through.
You definitely shed light on it in a way that everyone should get, I hope more people see this journal. It's hella useful and informative! :D
I draw weird cute things :B
I'm always open for trades n commissions, jsyk-
PFFF!! I LOVE ALL YOUR WEIRD CUTE THINGS!! THEY"RE SO AWESOME! YOUR STYLE IS SO AWESOME I CAN"T!!!
Seriously tho I love your style, it's super duper crazy cool so. I would have LOVED to commission you! Unfortunately I've already thrown my money at someone and am working with them at the moment! XD
Seriously tho, I'd love to commission some art from you in the future!
-And about your reply to the main brunt of my journal,-II hope it just all made sense, y'know? :)- I'm always sad to meet a fellow person who struggles with this sort of thing. (anxiety depression etc) but sometimes the thought that you're not alone kinda helps in a strange way. I hope as you grow as a person it gets easier ( and it can!), My heart just goes out to you.
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Hahaha, well thank you! I could just draw something sometime or we could do a trade. That's 100% up to you, I know you do commissions, that takes a higher priority! lol
But thank you for liking my work, I've been trying really hard lately to get better and enjoy creating instead of letting it stress me out like it was haha! And I'd be more then happy to do a piece for ya eventually. :DBut I will say over the years coping with the ups and downs of life has got much easier of the years. I think it's part of life and coping with it to experience depression at least once and effects people at different levels during life. My other problem is I've got pharmacopoeia (fear of the use of pharmacological treatments), so taking something for depression or emotional issues is pretty much impossible haha.
All in all though I've had it good lately and I've got a very supportive fiance that keeps me very happy, even during my lows lately. I couldn't ask for anything better :)
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I am opening for detailed chibis today :) I am sorry you're in the shit right now. I am too. Hang in there.
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GUH!! D: I'm so very sorry Miss Saetia! Thank you do much for the offer but I'd already thrown my monies at someone who is working with me at them moment, but I really appreciate you, and your beautiful work ! I do plan on trying to get some more artwork from you in the future! :D
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I do little chibis for 20 like this
https://www.weasyl.com/submission/407325/shysheri-commission
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I've never been properly diagnosed but that's hard to do when your family sees mental/physical issues as weakness (and seeing the doctor for such things as an "overreaction" or "coddling"). It was real bad in early high school and it took years to learn how to cope, and even now I struggle with it although I'm not in such a dark place now like I was before. I dunno how medication would work for me and at this point I'm too scared to try. It's fantastic that you have someone who understands ;u;
I'm not so good at drawing cute things haha.
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( I think you're very good at cute things!) Course, my version of cute varies wildly from the norm sometimes! (Like ..warthogs are cute to me etc..)
I'm so sorry to hear about your situation! Sounds a little similar to mine as far as my parents were always a bit resentful of my "oversensitive" behaviors.
Medication is..a crutch to help you heal and get back on your feet. At least that's how I feel about it. It isn't a cure, it just..props you up until your mental muscles readjust and you can start "being" on your own... So I wouldn't recommend it to everyone and frankly after being on it for so long I developed horrible side effects that I won't even go into but..
I'd say "ask your therapist" but the most I've ever seen are really heavy drug pushers and I'm not sure if that's in their training, or how they get paid but...
It would have to be YOUR decision..."do I need a little something to help prop me up sometimes?"...like Xanax for anxiety attacks had been a GODSEND (I don't have them anymore! <3) but when I DID need it it was wonderful that I had a way to take control when I thought I was losing it.
So... ::hugs::!!
I know it sounds absolutely crazy but have you tried meditation? (I meditate by forcing myself to learn how to crochet. XD)
Meditation is one of those weird things that does CRAZY amazing things for people....-
Yeah that's also what I'm worried about - my friend used to see a therapist and it seemed like every medication they put him on either didn't work or made him feel worse. Eventually he just stopped and is learning how to cope by himself (which has been rocky at best). I would love something for my anxiety and stress (I'm in constant stress mode 24/7 and for no reason) but the possible side effects don't seem worth it ):
I haven't thought of meditation before o.o I'm not even quite sure what it is haha I always thought it was like yoga.
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oh sorry, wrong link T_T here's the Weasyl one: https://www.weasyl.com/submission/450070/having-a-horsie-valentine
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OMG WHAT A PRECIOUS PRECIOUS THING THAT IS!
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Link
Waffles85
SADLY my computer is in the shop at the moment, but I can definitely do cute. I can do so cute your teeth hurt and can even do ridiculously cute horsies. I did this in literally about 20 seconds for the FB group Cuteboom. Once I get my computer back though, my sketches are just 10.00 and linework for 20 usually. I hope you feel better! Depression is the worst :( https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=591952830562&set=o.502880533079365&type=3&theater hope the link works.