If Project Pheonix were cover by Furreh Nuuz TeeVee by Tantroo

Going a bit old school here, given the oddly large controversy this whole thing has caused I can't help but think. How would this be covered in an eryshe style comic? Well since I have no drawing ability, I will present it via text. It would be a 2 parter (12 panels) which would go something like this:

PART 1

PANEL 1
Ziggy: We're here at this press conference where Ragoonsneer is about to make his biggest announcement for FurrehArtzite.com. --we just got word he's about to begin his speech, let's go live now to Ragoonsneer.

PANEL 2
Ragonsneer and Fender are on the stage
Ragonsneer: Folks, I'm here to make a big announcement. We've heard your pleas! That FurrehArtzite is old, that it needs a new coat of paint! I mean, look at this old jalopy!

PANEL 3
Fender glares at the insult, while Ragonsneer pulls out a cannon with the name Zoosh on it
Ragonsneer: But fear not! I'm hear to announce a new beginning. With Project Pheonix we will make the old ashes of a site into something new and exciting! And here's my secret weapon. The Zoosh Cannon!

PANEL 4
Ragonsneer fires the Zoosh cannon which lets out a loud "ZOOSH!!", the beam glows around Fender who is in a natural defensive posture

PANEL 5
The ray dies down and Fender goes back to a normal position. Seemingly unaware of the smoke and signs of flame coming off his backside.

Fender: Well that wasn't so ba-- sniff Is someone cooking something?

PANEL 6
We are now looking at Ziggy with a glow of fire permitting from the direction he's facing, eyes wide in shock and awe.
Fender: OH MY 'NEER! I'M ON FIRE!
Ziggy: ---exciting indeed...
Random Audience member: "But 'new'? Hardly.

PART 2
PANEL 1
Ragonsneer is in a paniced state while Fender is now fully ablaze.
Ragonsneer: "--Quick... do something! Staff! Help me stamp it out!

PANEL 2
Ragonsneer and fellow staff members stand over Fender and kick and stop at the mascot. Ontamonapias such as *Stomp and Crunch are interlaced with ones such as Journal Deleted and Comment Hidden by admin.

PANEL 3
The group disperses and stands aside revealing in this frame a broken and dead Fender. In a pile of charred ash.
Ragonsneer: Oh God---

PANEL 4
Ragonsneer turns to the audience and puts on a worried grin of trying to maintain order despite inward panic.
Ragonsneer: Do not Panic! Do not Fear! This was all part of the plan! For you see a pile of ash, but from it the Pheonix shall rise! Zoosh cannon--fire the UI Beam!

PANEL 5
Panel shows Ragonsneer attempting to fire the cannon, but it makes a putter sound and fires out nothing but smoke.
Ragonsneer: Uh-- Zoosh cannon?

PANEL 6
We look at the side of the Zoosh cannon which has screen that says "Recharging" With a progress bar, says "estimated time until recharged (infinity symbol) - 1.
Ragonsneer: Oh no...

BONUS PICTURE
Full page picture of the stage with Fender burned to a crisp and the staff looking grievously at the corpse. In front a the Weasyl mascot stands, holding up his paint brush like a sword, talking like a French Revolutionary.
Vee Zell: "Zee Fandom iz dead! Long live ze Fandom!"

If Project Pheonix were cover by Furreh Nuuz TeeVee

Tantroo

20 January 2014 at 22:49:41 MST

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    "Zee Fandom iz dead! Long live ze Fandom!" I am laughing FAR TOO HARD at this.