The spell I never knew I cast.

Ok. This goes back. When I was a teen, at the beach I once found a pretty little shell with a convenient hole in it. Put a string through it and instant necklace. Cool. I liked to wonder if perhaps it was a stone age relic, just not as obvious as an arrowhead, and what the person who had drilled the hole and worn it before ages ago was like.

Fast forward a bit. During the "Great Illness", I was wearing it. I've always found that when I'm too sick to do anything except be sick, not even cheap low-energy entertainment like video games and internet, just having some piece of jewelry on is a sort of entertainment. I feel it, I know it's there, and I don't feel like I'm doing nothing or look like complete shit, I have something pretty on.

Towards the end of that, I noticed the shell seemed to be like a capacitor of my personal energy. If I wore it during a period I was sicker, it would "replay" that energy back to me. It was drawing out my illness and making recovery take nearly twice as long. So I stopped wearing it.

I never wore it since ,and it sat on my shelf. What was I to do with something like that? And yet, it was still a pretty shell I liked to look at.

Since then I've gotten into magic, I've become a spiritual person, and I've learned a lot more. There is stone magic where one puts negative energy into a stone and then throws it away. I'd done step 1, but not steps 2 and 3 - priming it to release the energy and throwing the object away.

I finally got up the courage to leave the shell behind. I took it back to the waters from whence it came, said a prayer for them to heal the shell and flung it as hard as I could, out where it will probably never be found for another 10,000 years, when it's clean again.

The effect has been a bit overwhelming.

Energy I never knew I'd bottled up came back to me.

I've always, in some ways, been trying to get back what I had before the Great Illness. I've never quite been as physically active and fit and horny as I was in the summers of 2005 and 2006. Suddenly, I found that kind of physical energy coming back. When the shell siphoned away the illness, it took that energy away too.

I also found the anger coming back. The irrational rage, the annoyance at every small thing, that drove me to be worried sick in the first place. I couldn't help it, i'd just RAAAGE at the slightest thing like I used to, and it was frightening, to have an emotion I couldn't control or get rid of, just choose to not act on. It felt like it wasn't the "real" me I've been all this time.

Slowly, I had to face it, with all the experience and wisdom I've had since. I'm not the same person I was back then, I've experienced a lot more, encountered philosophies that mean something to me for the first time.

It was a week-long battle but 2+ weeks on, I've managed to keep the good and get rid of the bad. And now I feel more alive than I have in a long time, almost younger.

The moral of the story is it's really easy to start magic without realizing it. You dont' even have to believe in magic, or be a witch, or want to do it. You probably don't even realize you've made a simple spell like this. I now think it's a good idea to search over your life, see if there's anything you have odd feelings about, and complete the spell(s) you unwittingly started.