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Welp, I'm having artist block again, and I am lonely as heck. by TheOtherEliArts2001

The title says it. Artist block has kicked me in the ass once again. I dunno why, but its gotten to a point where I cant draw anything decent for 10 days before I put something online and wait another 10 days. It's ridiculous. How is it that I take so slow to make a good drawing and so many users on this site can come up with something within a few days and put something up once a week or so. I mean, I know that is not always the case with some users on this site, but I want to become active. I am so sick and tired of having these moments.

Maybe I should stop doing art because I feel like I have to. I should just try to do it when I want to and allow myself to enjoy it. I want to be able to expand my artistic capabilities and such, but it's so challenging when you are so self conscious and stressed out about so many things in life.

Also, I am lonely as heck. My parents care about me so much, but I'm not sure if I really want to ask them for help anymore as I have done so many times, but they keep giving me the same advice. It is getting kind of annoying now. I bet they would give a thousand crud apples for me, but they don't seem to know exactly how to help me. At least from my point of view they don't. Because in everyone's eyes, perhaps even my own, I am just a stupid predictable angsty teenage boy.

I don't have a whole lot of friends, and I don't get out of the house a whole lot because I am so shy and introverted. I don't go to school anymore and never have since age 11, but as of now I am home schooled and do most of my education online. Although I do occasionally go to a Youth Group on the weekends and hang out with other teenage Christians like myself, I hardly get to see them because I only see them once a week. I have bad anxiety that I have to tame using some form of medication. And worst of all, I have no idea how I'm supposed to make any friends online. No one ever talks to me, and I doubt that anyone will find me as an interesting person. The majority of people who are on this site already fully grown adults. I bet that when they realize I am a teenager, they will just immediately role their eyes and not want to even bother talking to me because of my age.

So yeah... now you know more about me I guess. Is this just typical teenager troubles to you? Is all of this making you cringe right now as you read this when to me it is actually a serious issue? I feel as though all the adults on this site will barely have any sympathy for a kid who is just "too edgy" and "a whiny brat" to them. I don't even know why I am writing this. Maybe it's some sort of cry for help. I don't know. What I am more curios about is, is anyone going to hear me. Again, I don't know. I guess I just feel like I want to tell people how I am feeling. I tried very hard not to sound so cliche with this journal as I know that many journals about stress at a young age tend to sound the same. I just want to socialize hopefully and make a good impression here. I may not actually be a furry, but I still at least want to be part of some sort of community, even if its online. I think knowing that there would be someone who I could talk to or who could with me would make me feel a bit safer.

Welp, I'm having artist block again, and I am lonely as heck.

TheOtherEliArts2001

5 January 2018 at 23:13:09 MST

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    Hello, just found your post and wanted to say that it's ok to upload art less frequently. But yeah, artist's block is definitely frustrating. If/when I draw during those periods, I end up dissatisfied and discouraged. Sometimes, it helps to draw without expectations of whether it'll be 'good' or not. I think that practicing can help, even if it doesn't end up being a full artwork.

    Just from a glance, I can see that your digital work is very smooth and clean. That's pretty cool (my linework is usually quite rough)! What sorts of things do you want to improve in your art?

    Regarding teenage stuff, it's rough (physically and emotionally), even though my teenage years were relatively bully-free. For many people, it honestly is a hard part of life to get through. So I believe teenagers should be taken seriously. I don't know what homeschooling is like, so I can't say much on it.

    As for making friends online, that's a challenge too. For example, I've found people on Weasyl friendly and nice, but haven't had a full conversation with any of them. Common interests help, but then there's the part where people need to figure out if they like each other/mesh well.

    Even if your troubles are 'typical teenage troubles' they're still valid. I'm an adult but I won't immediately dismiss someone because of their age. I hope I haven't come off as condescending in my ramble. But yeah, Weasyl's not a complete ghost town (yet!)

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    Thanks a lot for the comment. I was in a pretty decent mood already, but seeing this brightened me up a little bit. I really appreciate your sympathy and understanding for how I feel. Though I'll admit that I can be kind immature and a little bratty at times, I do try to be as humble and self aware as I can be. I am not always a very negative person.

    I also appreciate the advice that you have written here. I do have a hard time drawing when I'm stressed, and I know I shouldn't rush it. I also know that there is certainly room for improve of my art at any time. I enjoy drawing and creating with a passion. I draw better when I am in a good mood, and my sketches turn out decent.

    My anxiety sort of comes and goes. One day I'll be in a great mood, and the next I'll be stressed out and anxious. It's kind of a pain, but I can manage. My parents are very supportive of me and they try to help me through it.
    But I'm glad you understand what I am going through, and I agree that people shouldn't not be taken seriously just because of their age. It takes time for a person to find their own potential.

    So yeah, thanks for the comment and the advice. And thank you for checking out my art. It's not perfect, but at least I am still practicing to improve, but I will be patient with myself. If there is one thing that is important within any artist, it is equilibrium.

    (Also I apologize for this comment being a little disorganized. I am trying not to make it too long)