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This one goes a couple ways in how I was inspired to write it. Or at least my mind wants to go in two directions at once with interpreting it.
In one way. it's a sort of way I look at the actual myth of Jörmungandr. I look at Odin tossing him into the sea as a metaphor for avoiding a problem, whether or not it was known how grave it would be, only to have it grow into massive proportions to one day poison your life.
On the other hand, I also wanted it to be a look at the way we handle our goals and/or issues in life. One gets so focused on this thing, clamping down on one's own tail and following it endlessly in circles until the day to let go comes and so much more has grown between the two that it becomes a burden to wrap around the world.
Hope folks enjoyed.
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- Category:
- Literary / Poetry / Lyrics
Comments
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That alone is good enough!
Thank you kindly for the wonderful commentary and advice, which I shall attempt to fit into what I work on next if I can get my memory to cooperate.
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I must agree with Eduard on the suggestion of punctuation! I love using it in a lot of my poems and often the right period or comma forces a reader to pause at just the right moment and with enough dramatic effect, can make the words come alive in their mind even more.
<Bill Nye voice> Consider the following:A serpent clasps its own tail
Teeth clamped firm.
What elusive squirm.
To this end he cannot failPeriods at the second and third line make that repetition stronger, like a staccato sound or drumbeat. That is of course just one example of many. If you substituted the periods for commas for instance, it still gives impact to the rhythm but instead sounds more flowing and undulating (like the World Serpent himself).
That being said, this poem is still great without it. The imagery and metaphor stands out clearly (for me at least) and your use of pace and rhythm in this one is especially well-executed.
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Domnul Eduard
A beautiful poem. I couldn't help but think of Jormungandr all the way through.
You truly have a talent for fluency, for making your poetry flow as harmonious as water from a spring. A suggestion, if you would permit me: I would like to propose the usage of punctuation in your poems. Punctuation, in poetry, has a neat way of separating ideas, as well conveying emotions through breaks, pauses and whatnot. Think of it as yet another toy to play with.
I definitely like how you structured this poem, especially the stanzas. The way the middle verses rhyme with one another, and the first rhymes with the last, not to mention how the middle verses provide a form of descriptive or retrospective image while the first and the last ones are the actual conclusive ones really portray the image of jaws closing down on something, (mayhaps someone's tail?) on a metaphysical level.
Beautiful poem. You have my commendations!