He wasn’t sure how much more of this he could take. After this long cramped on a meteor with not only several maturing young trolls, but two maturing humans as well, it was starting to become unbearable. Not to mention, as they grew older together, it was inevitable that relationships would begin to manifest themselves and indeed they had, adding even more blood pump tugging drama and conflict into the mix.

And then they just had to meet their ancestors, or at least the alternate, pre-scratch versions of them. Karkat’s auricular sponge clots were still ringing from his last encounter with Kankri, and he was beyond relieved to finally be away from their dream bubble and back on their lengthy journey through time and space.

But now what? Yet again, he was faced with a dilemma that often faced the travelers on this rouge meteor on its one way trip to the uncertainties of the new session: Boredom. He remembered, back when the other half of his friends were still alive and kicking, when such a thing was almost nonexistent and the main control room was often abuzz with the life and chatter of twelve young trolls, twelve youngsters who had yet to have their hope yanked out from under their feet.

Alone in one of the dark steel corridors of their refuge, Karkat could hardly keep himself from grimmer thoughts and memories. He strolled almost aimlessly, gray hands stuffed into the pockets of his jeans, as he wondered what to do about…everything.

Everyone else seemed happy and preoccupied, dating each other while he was stuck watching on the sidelines. Everyone had someone to talk to and to spend time with, everyone but him. Even after all this time, Gamzee still had yet to show his painted face and he grew all the more worried about his moirail as time passed. There was so much the indigo blood could be up to while he knew practically nothing about where he was or what he was doing.

Karkat just hoped he was alright; he worried about that clown, he always did.

Even lost in his thoughts, the young troll found his way to his own room. There weren’t many other places he could stay comfortably anyway, and at least he had privacy here, for the time being; Rose was still off nursing her first hangover.

However, as he stepped into the plain steel room, he noticed it wasn’t as vacant as he would’ve liked. In the center was the typical horn pile left behind by his once half-brained moirail. That was to be expected. What he didn’t expect to find was his said missing moirail, in all his gangly glory, if one could call it that.

The Cancer could hardly believe his lookstubs. After all this time of being mysteriously absent, Gamzee was now sitting right before him on his usual horn pile like he had never left. He was apprehensive though and wondered if it was a smart idea to approach him, especially with the specks of blood scattered about his person; he was so unpredictable nowadays.

Then the Capricorn lifted his unruly head and then a hand, his dazed eyes meeting his uncertain ones. “Hey, Karbro. What’s up, motherfucker?”

Almost at once, Karkat felt his pale fondness bubble to the surface and he relaxed. His diamond seemed as calm as ever, and as welcoming. He was glad; he had missed the goat-horned troll a lot more than he had ever let on and it was about time he came back.

He smirked with some warmth behind him. “Nothing much; just wondering where your juggalo ass has been.”

Now that his gray eyes had been given time to adjust to the lighting of the room, he could see Gamzee’s position better. He was lounging on his stomach atop the numerous obnoxious horns as if they were instead a bed of honkbeast feathers, with his chin propped up by his folded arms. The smile that he gave was lazy and his gaze seemed far away as would be expected of him a sweep ago, but there was still that sharp glint of danger, of secret knowing, that lurked just beyond that ruse so reminiscent of his past self. It reminded him of how dangerous his best friend could be now, but he was determined to trust him, to help him; he was his moirail and he regard him as no more and no less.

He owed him that much.

“Naw, bro. You shouldn’t be worrying about me, motherfucker,” Gamzee assured easily, beginning to sit up.

Karkat felt struck at that. “Of course I should be worrying about you! I haven’t seen your hide in almost a sweep!” he protested, feeling all his worries and fears of the past sweep or so come crashing back onto his thinkpan like a wave of emotional turmoil. “I have these humans running off with Terezi and Kanaya, and I’m just sitting here like an extra wheel and I don’t even know where the fuck you--.”

“Chill, Karbro. That’s why I’m here. I figured I should be a motherfucking good pale bro for once,”

For a moment, the Cancer troll could only stare dumbly. Gamzee wanted to take responsibility for once? He almost couldn’t believe his auricular sponge clots, but at the same time, his blood pump fluttered with pale feelings.

His mouth formed something resembling a smile and he could hardly keep himself from drawing closer; soon enough, he was settling beside him with only a little hesitation. “Are you serious?”

Gamzee’s smile widened, slightly showing off his sharp teeth, and he slung a long arm over his shoulder. “Why wouldn’t I be? A moirailegance isn’t just a motherfucking one sided diamond, you know. What kind of bro would I be if I wasn’t here for a motherfucker?”

Instinctively, the nubby horned troll flinched but decided this was for the best. He did really need someone right now. It was a strange feeling having someone’s arm around him, but he supposed it was just one of the few types of pale affection he would have to get used to. Accordingly, Karkat relaxed and even went so far as lean a little on Gamzee, to communicate his approval. In turn, Gamzee rested the side of his head faintly against his.

This did feel nice. "I suppose you're right for once. Thanks, Gamzee," he murmured, in a way admitting defeat in his attempt at keeping his personal walls up. "It has been actually pretty tough without you around, I'll admit."

"Sorry, bro. I missed you too, you know. But I'm motherfucking here for you now, so don't be afraid to just let loose and tell me what's all on your motherfucking think pan."

That surprised the other troll. Someone missed him and was willing to listen to him? That was different and, though he probably wouldn't admit it, something he needed to hear. It was hard feeling like an outcast after dealing with the death of several of his friends, especially when he felt at least partly responsible, and having no one to talk to. It was hard and no one understood.

But now that he had Gamzee, maybe he wouldn't feel so alone anymore.

Karkat sighed and leaned against his best friend a little more. "I guess I do need something of a feelings jam right now."

He felt Gamzee nod his head once slowly in agreement and relaxed even more. Yes, he needed something like this, even if he instinctively felt ashamed most of the time whenever he vented his emotional problems and stresses to other people.

He inhaled deeply before easing it out softly. "I hardly know where to start even," he then laughed with some unease; this would take some getting used to. "Though, I guess the main thing I'm dealing with is what I've always felt, that I'm not a good leader, that the reason why we're stuck like this...is my fault."

After a moment of silence, he immediately began to worry that this wouldn't be Gamzee's thing. Then he felt his arm slide off his shoulder and slip around his waist, before it squeezed supportively. Curious, Karkat glanced over to check his moirail's expression, and found it to be surprisingly meditative. He would even go so far as to call the look in Gamzee's indigo tinted eyes a grim one as they locked with his.

"Karbro...you are amazing. You've motherfucking accomplished a feat hardly any adult troll before us could've hoped to do themselves. You led a group of juvenile trolls from all up and across hemospectrum to victory with practically no caste based causalities," Gamzee argued gently, gazing at him with noticeable admiration. "And I just motherfucking know your ancestor is a proud motherfucker, wherever he is, just like I am, just to know you. I know you don't motherfucking hear things like this as much as you all up and should."

He needed to sit down, even though he was already sitting. Gamzee was right. It was unusual for him to hear such praise and it was overwhelming when he finally did hear it. He could already feel his spirit lifting, knowing that his best friend truly held him in such high regard; everything felt brighter, even with just a few kind words.

"You alright, Karbro? You look all up and stunned," Gamzee inquired, teasing lightly.

It took Karkat a minute to recover before he found himself smiling wider than ever. With all the self-doubt and hatred always swimming about his thinkpan, it was a huge welcome relief just to have someone take his hand and remind him that he was worthy of loving, be it in a pale sense, or even red and black, and that he wasn't an utter failure. He didn't hesitate this time, and he snuggled up closer to his moirail, welcoming his presence, all his doubts of whether or not he was a perfect fit for him as well vanishing into thin air.

"Yeah, I'm alright. Thank you, Gamzee. I...needed to hear that. I guess it's really easy for me to get down on myself, to kick myself more than I really deserve."

Even talking about his personal insecurities was easy around the Capricorn. It was obvious now how they were perfect moirails for each other. He just hoped it would last.

Gamzee grinned, lazy and warm, "What else are pale bros for?" before kissing his black hair like a doting lusus.

After that, their words flowed like water, like nothing else in the universe existed but them and the way they cared for each other. Karkat didn't know how much time passed and he didn't care. They needed this, the both of them. While Gamzee reminded secretive about certain aspects of his new life, such as where he snuck off to time and time again, he still let in the Cancer on his feelings enough for his own share of comfort.

Hours passed, he judged from how their energy slowly waned, as they confided in each other and offered strength, support, and advice. And soon, it became common for their conversation to be interrupted by a yawn or two, and they leaned on each other all the more, not out of sentiment but rather due to a growing tiredness that was steadily seizing both of them.

Karkat yawned once last time before deciding to call it quits for the time being. "I think...we better call it a day, Gamz, or else we might end up passing out midsentence or some shit like that."

Accordingly, Gamzee smiled back drowsily in agreement, "I think you may be right, Karbro. Best we all up and curl up and shit," before easing back to lay down amongst the horns.

It was only now that Karkat remembered they had been sitting on the pile of them this whole time and was quite frankly amazed that he had forgotten. He guessed that was the power of a good feelings jam.

"Come all up and lay down with me. I don't bite," the indigo blood invited playfully.

Too tired and in too good a mood to disagree, the Cancer complied and settled down beside his moirail, who didn't hesitate to pull him into a sleepy embrace. He had a good mind to protest being used as a teddy bear, but realized Gamzee was already half asleep and decided his expression was much too peaceful to be worth disturbing.

And so, with one last deep sigh, Karkat resigned to sleep, knowing Gamzee would most likely be gone when he woke up. His best friend had always been strange and if the universe had grander plans in mind for him, he wouldn't mind. As long as there were still times like this, as long as they still cared for each other, they somehow felt that, even if it was a lie, everything would turn out just fine.

And that was all they needed.