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The Beautify of the Fire Bird by Ultima228 (critique requested)

The Beauty of the Firebird
It happend in the dead of night
A bright streak across the sky
Never before had i seen such a sight
And as i stared dazzled, I heard a painfilled cry

I couldn't even begin to think what it was
As i set out to search i saw it crash
A large something setting the sky ablaze
As I apporched i was pushed away in a flash

Such flaring heat never had i felt
But such wonderous beauty never had i saw
It was a bird of fire, the things legends told
I looked all about me hoping i not flawed

The wonderous beauty of the bird
Was it a dream?
For before me fluttered a phoenix!
This cannot be as it seems!

Then i understood the nature of its pain
Its wing had been hurt badly
Although i didn't know if i could help it
It was because i tryed sadly

However it seemed that i was able to ease its pain
The mighty Fire Bird seemed to be at ease
So free and in the open sky
Helping its wing was indeed a breeze

The wonder and beauty will always live in my heart
The Song of the Phoenix lifts my soul
I know now to see is to understand

That with the Phoenix no stress will take a toll
In my heart and my soul
I will always see the Phoenix soar
Never again shall i be afraid
Not even in the face of a lions roar
Robert Tempest

The Beautify of the Fire Bird (critique requested)

Ultima228

This was a ballad I made YEARS ago, I think in the 9th Grade? Look, it was either 9th or 11th I made it in.

Its old. But personally I still think its pretty good, I mean, sure it could be better but im not a poet at all. I just figured "Oh what the hey, I'll share it"

Submission Information

Views:
518
Comments:
5
Favorites:
1
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Poetry / Lyrics

Comments

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    ah this is cool, nice work. it was well written

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      Thank you, despite its age I think it holds up well. Which is why I uploaded it.

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    i hope to see more like this

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      hahaha I wouldnt get your hopes up buddy. Im a terrible poet and I dont even know how I managed to get something this good written. Im working on transfering my stuff over from my Deviantart account.

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    oh really? well i cant wait to see the rest of it