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He's an Idiot 1 Pt. 5 by Strailo


“Why am I coming to this meeting now?” Hanatoru asked as he padded alongside his two lovers, hair swinging from a hastily done up ponytail.

“Because you’re with us and that makes you a part of the eleventh division. We’re not going to hide you after all, healer or not,” Yumichika chuckled lowly as he wrapped an arm around Hanatoru’s waist.

“And why should we hide him? Look at that beautiful blush,” Ikkaku leered, watching as Hanatoru flushed and tried to hide his face into Yumichika's side. “After everything we’ve done to him, he’s still so shy,” he mused, Yumichicka nodding his head as he slid his hand down over one lean hip.

Several lower seats watched as Hanatoru covered half of his face, and gave Ikkaku and Yumichika a shy look. They were shocked when the bald man hauled him into a close hug and proceed to kiss him breathless, leaving him dazed with full, puffy lips. They exchanged looks as Yumichika giggled and swept the dazed healer up into his arms.

“Ikkaku, try and stop that,” Yumichika schooled playfully. “We need him to be able to focus after all. He can’t very well give his report to taicho if he can’t think straight, now can he?”

“Sorry, but that shy look he gave me just begged to be kissed away and as often as possible,” Ikkaku chuckled as they continued on to the meeting. Finding that most of the division had already arrived, they sat down on the porch near Kenpachi. Hanatoru was quickly pulled into Yumichika's lap as Ikkaku sprawled out next to them, their taicho eying them as Yachiru beamed happily at them.

“What’s he doin’ here?” Kenpachi finally grunted in greeting, lifting his coffee cup up before scowling at the sludge that was trying to pass itself off as coffee.

“He’s with us as our lover,” Yumichika stated, squeezing Hanatoru around his waist until he squeaked. “Hana-kun, can you go and make taicho some real coffee?” he asked, a smile and a nod his answer as the lean male stood up, brushing his fingertips over Ikkaku’s bald head as he headed into the large break room.

“When did this happen?” Kenpachi grunted, glaring at the sludge in his cup. Ikkaku leered and rubbed at his head.

“Three weeks, two days and four hours ago, when he came to the living world after Ganju hurt him. I decided that he was an idiot and I was proven right when I got him into bed,” Yumichika stated, nearly sparkling as he smiled smugly to the world around him.

“I see. And too much fuckin’ information,” Kenpachi grunted as the scent of fresh coffee floated out from the opened door. “He good at anything beyond fuckin’?”

“He’s got some skill as a fighter, surprisingly. Better healer but he knows how to turn that knowledge into kickin’ some ass,” Ikkaku said, smirking “If he’s not holding back, he can pull Yumi here into a draw,” he chuckled. He idly noticed that Ganju was watching them with a dark look on his face, making him smirk.

“He did win that one time. He landed a blow on my hip with a foot as he was able to pull my zanpactou free from my hands,” Yumichika corrected, seeing what Ikkaku had spotted as Hanatoru walked out with four cups of coffee on a tray. “Oh, it smells so good.”

“Thank you,” Hanatoru replied, coming to kneel next to his lovers, handing Kenpachi his cup of coffee first, before handing two cups of coffee with a dab of creamer to Ikkaku and Yumichika. His own held a tea bag seeping in hot water.

“Don’t drink coffee or something?” Kenpachi grunted as Hanatoru bobbed his tea bag in his water.

“I do drink coffee, but I don’t drink more than two cups a day. All of that caffeine makes my hands shake and that ends up dangerous for my patients,” he replied, smiling sweetly. Kenpachi stared at him in some surprise, the man not used to seeing such a happy, confident look whenever he saw the healer. Usually Hanatoru was on the nervous and twitchy side, jumping at every little sound or move.

But the smile was a good look on the sweet face. Kenpachi grunted as Ikkaku and Yumichika both gave him smug looks, and sipped at his coffee, finding it much more pleasant to his taste buds than what was usually made. “Good coffee.”

“Your people used too much coffee grounds to water, Kenpachi-taicho. If anything, do buy some pre-measured packets for the coffee makers. They cost less and usually give you a better taste if you don’t know how to make coffee,” Hanatoru suggested.

“Yumichika, do that would you? Get a good type,” Kenpachi grunted. Yumichika pulled Hanatoru into his lap as the healer sipped at his tea.

“Yes, taicho,” he chirped, pressing a kiss to the others forehead. “Such a brilliant little healer,” he cooed, Hanatoru giving him a pleasured filled smile.

“You gonna hug him all day?” Ikkaku asked, reaching out to steal their smaller lover and hold him with one arm around Hanatoru's waist. “He’s staring at you like he can’t believe what he’s seeing,” he chuckled into one delicate ear.

“Who?” Hanatoru asked as he looked over the crowd before spotting Ganju with a shell shocked expression on his face. “Oh, I see. Well, he has no right to be so shocked that I was able to move on. He broke up with me after all and I have every right to enjoy myself.”

“So true,” Yumichika said as he drank his coffee. The last of the eleventh division members arrived and found their place in the lines, everyone sitting as they waited for the meeting to start.

“Alright, shut up the lot of ya,” Kenpachi growled, finishing off his coffee and placed the cup onto the tray. “As you can see, Yumichika and Ikkaku are back from their time in the Living World, and have a report for you, along with some new information from Hanatoru,” he stated, Hanatoru blushed at being eyed by the whole of the eleventh.

“The rest of the divisions are getting the same information as you are,” Ikkaku stated, finishing off his cup of coffee before wrapping his arm back around Hanatoru's waist, smirking lightly. “First of all, Hanatoru is with us in a full relationship, so I suggest all of you leave him alone.”

“Ikkaku-san, are you really dating him?” one member called out, sounding distasteful of that face.

“Did you know that it only takes three pounds of pressure to rip off a human's ear?” Hanatoru asked pleasantly. “Less if you twist just right as you pull. You can also permanently damage a hand by landing a good, hard kick to the rather delicate metacarpal bones, or even ones knee if you can kick a person’s kneecap out of place.” He said all of this as he sat in Ikkaku’s lap, sipping his tea and smiling pleasantly.

The eleventh division members before them shifted, starting to rethink just how dangerous the young man was.

“Your most dangerous opponent will be a healer just for the simple fact that they know exactly how to hit, how hard to hit and where to hit,” Yumichika stated. “On top of that, they play dirty if they’re pushed on the subject and they have wonderful reitsu control, adding some umph to their attack.”

“So piss off our Hana-kun, we dare ya,” Ikkaku chuckled as Hanatoru blushed and shoved at his chest, shaking his head.

“Stop it, Ikkaku-kun,” Hanatoru schooled, blushing slightly as he smiled back. “Now, as for the newest report on Karakura town, it is at about the same level as it had been before Ichigo-kun met Rukia-san.”

“Meaning we don’t have to actually hunt for hollows since they only pop up every so often. We mostly patrolled for pluses,” Ikkaku stated.

“Exactly. There were two or three that were quite strong but were taken cared of by a bit of misdirection since they had appeared in an extremely public area and had to be taken out quickly so that the normal humans didn’t get hurt,” Hanatoru continued, Ikkaku pouting.

“Don’t forget you were able to go out and kill a few other hollows later that night, Ikkaku-kun,” Yumichika soothed as he reached out and stroked the top of Ikkaku’s bald head.

“In total, they sent something like 97 pluses to Soul Society and purified around 15 hollows in the last two and a half weeks,” Hanatoru said, having pulled out a small notebook. “I haven’t gotten Ichigo-kun's numbers yet. He hadn’t been able to get back to us by the time we had to come back. He caught a rather nasty cold that has taken him down for a while.”

“We’ll go see him when we head back to the living world next,” Yumichika promised, getting a loving smile.

“Beyond that, the power spikes are pretty normal for the area, even before Ichigo-kun was born. It seems as if everything has calmed down since Aizen's betrayal and what he did to Karakura town,” Hanatoru finished with a smile.

“Divisions will take turns patrolling the town. Only those who have experience will be going just because they’ll know how to keep their powers under control,” Kenpachi grunted, eying his cup. Hanatoru simply got up and gathered the cups, taking them into the break room, coming back out quickly with fresh cups of coffee for all of them. “Thanks,” the large taicho grunted as he took his cup, Yumichika and Ikkaku taking their own with smiles.

The meeting continued on, going over the news of Soul Society and what would be needing to happen soon and to be done before things happened. The entire time Hanatoru switched between sitting on Ikkaku's lap and Yumichika's lap, occasionally adding something to the meeting.

Ganju glared at them the entire time.

He's an Idiot 1 Pt. 5

Strailo

Title: He’s an Idiot 5

Fandom: Bleach

Characters: Hanatoru, Ikkaku, Yumichika, Various 11th division characters, Kenpachi, Yachiru

Arc: 1

Chapter: 5

Word count: 1,656

AN: Ahhh, slightly late on this but I hope that you enjoy!

*~*~*~*

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