I'd say it's a pretty big piece that it's missing...

I'm sorry you're feeling so much pain... I can certainly empathize with heartache and anything related to depression, loss, and grief. I spent the past 2wks in the hospital learning how to cope with all that jazz (as well as my own psych disorder). If you want an understanding heart to confide in, my inbox is open. I've also got a Telegram as well that you're free to PM about as well. From the tags, I can see this is David Bowie related, but regardless, my inbox/telegram is open <3