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on 12 October 2016 at 13:19:21 MDT

"I feel like I have a whole ocean in me, and it's so easy to drown, it's like I'm always fighting to survive how much there is in my heart."

"You can channel that energy, though," he said.

Oh. Of course. I'll simply take the ineffable melancholy seeping through my lungs and paint a picture and some how it will relieve me of this emotion, this suffocating sadness, expelling the excess feelings from me onto the page.

It doesn't work that way. No, the only way not to drown in yourself is to keep a clear head - always keep your mind clean, your body strong, and never look down. There is no expulsion of energy, there is no exit to being a water fountain of feelings. There is only a constant effort with all your might to stay on the surface of the ocean: from the day you are born until the day you die, you must fight against the current and the cold waves and the loud storms and the thwarting you will receive, a fight against the shaking and the exhaustion. Every single day is a battle for people like us.

Do not listen to the advice of people who have never needed to learn how not to drown in themselves. Do not be fooled. Fighting is not something to feel ashamed of, it does not mean that you are less, that you are weak because you cannot win. Every day you are still fighting is another day you have won. Just because the fighting never ends does not mean you are less victorious.

You are not ordinary. You are not weak. You are extraordinarily strong.

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Joined 20 August 2016

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