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The Girls of Shalott by sadielizyy (critique requested)

The Girls of Shalott

The Girls of Shalott:

A Soul Torn in Two

He said, "She has a lovely face;

God in his mercy lend her grace,

The Lady of Shalott".

I

Not so far later

The day became greater,

As two new births echoed and sang

And the people felt a pang

Of joy as new life was brought to Camelot.

The birth brought two girls

Adorned in ribbons and pearls

And looked at lovingly by a mother she filled their hair with sweet curls.

The girls of Camelot.

II

Girl one was quiet,

Sweet, shy and wore dresses of violet.

Girl two was pretty,

Dandy, proper and quite petty.

Miss pretty was adored all over Camelot.

She had the voice so lovely

A face and body so compositely

Of a statue carved so delicately.

Miss pretty the favoured girl of Camelot.

Miss quiet liked to hide

Her secrets, stories, ideas and face she would abide

By her shadows of comfort where

No one dared to enter there.

The lonely girl of Camelot,

Left alone to think

Let her mind sink

Where she wouldn’t miss a thing even if she should blink.

That lonely girl of Camelot.

III

Miss pretty acted sweet,

Cute, silent and meek as her hands clutched a sheet.

A letter for her from another boy

Who adored her face, voice and not to be coy,

Wrote his love for this beauty of Camelot.

Miss quiet just smiled

At the sight like a child

A sad girl who whiled

Time away so she could be an adored girl of Camelot.

Her smile hid her hate

Miss pretty couldn’t take

Any more keeping quiet

And pretending to love the twin she considered a riot.

That pathetic silent girl of Camelot.

That girl so abandoned

The pretty girl’s hate accessioned

To the face of her being it blackened.

The darkened girl of Camelot.

Miss pretty could get away with anything,

Even calling her sister evil and patronizing.

Miss quiet had no hope to come through

And say that the accusations were not so true.

The troubled girl of Camelot.

A group rushed through the town

To drag the troubled girl down,

Down and away as her parents simply showed a frown,

As she was taken to the tower Shalott.

IV

The pretty girl tried

To hide her pain, yet she cried.

Half a being she was

Torn in half from her own cause.

The liar of Camelot.

The people thought of her with love,

Held her high and above

As if she was a sacred dove.

The black heart of Camelot.

Her sister she missed

Though Miss pretty hated her sister she would have kissed

Her other half as she needed

Her other part to be completed.

The torn lives of Shalott.

On a dark night

Miss pretty walked out of sight

And to end her violent fight

Drowned herself in the cold river of Camelot.

Her skin so pale

Like that of an angel

Floated to a spot near the shore

And seen by the same handsome knight once more.

Lancelot of Camelot.

He said, "She has a lovely face;

God in his mercy lend her grace,

The girl of Camelot.”

Those two girls: The girls of Shalott.

~sadielizyy

Works Consulted:

Tennyson, Alfred Lord. “The Lady Of Shalott.”

The Girls of Shalott (critique requested)

sadielizyy

This is a fan-poem for "The Lady of Shalott" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson ^^ I hope you enjoy it!!

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