Last month, we recently had the passing of a family member, our pet rat Fuzzy. She struggled to keep herself alive for months after several health conditions. She died peacefully in the loving hand of Soryane, cradled in a warm blanket. When Fuzzy finally passed, it hit us hard.
Having a love one, be it animal or human, dying in your hands, can be very hard on one's emotions. You physically and spiritually share that unique and special link during that transition with the departing one. You watch as the one in front of you starts to fade away, your hand touching and holding the other's hand or body. You try to give the other as much strength as you could to try to ease their passing until the their heart slowly stops. You find yourself holding the lifeless physical remains of your loved one, still feeling that strong bond between you two. No words can describe what you feel or what you are thinking. All you can do is vent, using the last amount of energy you had into shedding tears and grieving.
If you are there by your friend's side as s/he grieves and cries, you share in the verbal silence and shed your own tears of grief and remorse. A hand placed on the other's shoulder to a full hug is enough physical contact to let the other know that you are there by their side and that you are there to comfort them if they need it. You just simply placing your hand on the other is a sign that you are trying to take some of that spiritual energy they had with the deceased loved one so they don't drown themselves in it. You don't need to say anything. They will know by you supporting them and being with them during this time of grieving.
Death itself is a very hard subject to talk about because everyone deals with it differently. Some cry, some goes into isolation, some tries to ignore it, some celebrate it in their own way, and some don't know how to deal with it. All that they know is that they just lost someone they won't see or speak to again - someone that can't be replaced by any other.
One of the best ways to cope with the lose of a love one is to stay relaxed and remember the joys and happiness you had with the departed loved one. Remember the fun times - those joyful moments where you and the other were happy and carefree. Honor the passing with a smile, showing them that you will always remember the good times you had together.
artwork © 2014 Alex Cockburn