Diary,

" I was cleaning out my closet when I stumbled upon something that I hidden away from sight for a very long time. It was crammed all the way in the back. I barely recognized what it was from all the layers of dust that grew on it. It was that dress I got from the locker room that one day. When I was looking at it, those painful memories of me being teased and harassed at school due to my figure came back to me. This dress was hanging on my locker with a hurtful note from my classmates, telling me to wear a dress since I look more like a girl than a boy. They threw my real clothes in the trash that I managed to fish out. That day really was a downfall for my self esteem. I can't remember why I brought this dress with me instead of throwing it out.

That depressing moment in my life will never go away, but I've grown from it. From that day last year, I grew up and started to know myself a lot more. That one day motivated me to look at myself and see who I really am and what I could become if I continued to stay strong and hopeful. Since that day, I've respected the fact that I have a unique feminine male body. I couldn't grow thick muscles or play heavy sports like the jocks. No matter what I did, my body remained the same. If I tried to change anything just to look more manly, I would feel uncomfortable with it. I've stopped trying to force my body to change and let it just grow naturally. I started to read magazine articles and TV shows where guys who have the same body structure as I went through the same hell as I did. They fell, but they soon picked themselves back up and became stronger people at the end. Reading such stories filled me with confidence that I would reread them whenever I started to feel down about myself. I started to explore and experiment with different sets of clothing, mostly from the girl's department. I noticed how different yet comfortably right I felt when I wear panties instead of briefs. They actually help shape my small hips. From underwear came shirts. Just by sticking out my chest a little, a female shirt made me look rather attractive and right in my eyes. From shirts I went to skirts and female size pants. By wearing feminine clothing in front of my mirror, my confidence grew and I started to see how beautiful I was. I became a different person. I look at myself and I smile, feeling comfortable with what I see and how I feel.

I cleaned off the unwanted dress and stitched up a few holes here and there from my past frustration. It was like mending the wounds from my past. Holding the dress in front of me and looking at my reflection, I could see a whole new me on the other side. She smiles at me, showing me her curves and how well she could pull off this dress. I must have lost track of time while staring at my reflection in this dress. Even though this dress has a bad history to it, Im still going to keep it. It has a very personal connection to me and I felt that it was a small yet important piece of my past that helped me grew into the person I am today. It is now part of my collection of dresses that make me feel comfortable with who I am while wearing them."

- Kendall

Part 2 of an earlier commission: ( http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7015638/ ).

Kendall © :iconsirkain:

artwork © 2012 Alex Cockburn