”August 10th,

“ It has been more than half a year since the day that special someone broke my heart. Our relationship lasted so long that it takes just as long for the wounds in my heart to heal. Some days I don’t think about the drama that happened to us, but most days it passes though my mind and stops there like a disabled train at the station - a long frustrating delay that leaves me with tears rolling down my cheeks. I can still remember that day when I felt my heart shatter…

“ I was in love with a special man. He was sweet, caring and always brought a smile to my face. He would lift my heart up from any darkness and bring me towards the light of joy and comfort. There was only one problem: he lived on the other side of the ocean. I live in the UK and he goes to school in Canada. It was a constant struggle to keep the relationship going, but with mailing gifts and talking on the computer, we kept that long distance connection strong and steady. We had a lot of plans when he came over to visit or when it was the right time for me to come visit him. I daydreamed every day about me holding his hand and doing fun and exciting activities with him. I’ve made mental plans to take him sightseeing around the UK. He had the same idea as well. I didn’t care what we did together or where we were, just as long as I spent time with him.

“ There were a few snags that held us back. Money was one thing since traveling via plane would drain our accounts no matter who paid or who visited. The current exchange was a bother and since he was in school, having any free time was almost impossible due to his homework. He thought about moving to where I lived and I thought about moving to where he lived. Getting a green card is not as easy as some people say and finding a job in another country is near impossible. The option I thought of about us getting married so he could get his green card in the UK or I could get mine for Canada still rang in my head now and then. It was an idea I kept to myself. It was a last resort, but it was something that I hoped that one day happen. Besides the small issues, we were still very happy together.

“I can still remember everything that happened on the day he broke up with me. It will be in my heart for many years. Things first started to fall apart when he was online less and less due to schoolwork and exams. This also brought his mood down to depressing levels. He wanted space and time to heal away from the computer and from everybody. I told him that I wanted him to get better and I will be there when he needs me. I felt helpless not being there for him when he was down. On the side, I looked into trying to get a Visa for Canada so when he is alone and depressed, I will be right there beside him. After a while, we talked online again, but it was the last time we spoke to one another as a couple. The moment my heart shattered was when he didn’t feel right dating men, but wanted a girlfriend instead. I was at lost for words when he said that. I reminded him how much I loved him and what we been though together. I even begged him to stay with me. In the end, all he wanted us to be is just friends, nothing more. I completely opened up to him and he hurt me in the worst possible way. I thought he was the one that I would spend my whole entire life with. It was a dream I followed for so long. But after the break-up, I stopped believing that there is the ONE out there. With that dream shattered, my heart crumbled even more and I broke down...

“It has been months after that and I still feel myself pining for him. Now and then we talked online, but I find it painful to type anything to him. Knowing that we are no longer an item, I can’t express how much I love him anymore. I bottle everything up. He made his point very clear to me that he wasn’t gay, but straight. He wanted a girlfriend, not a boyfriend. I thought he was the one for me, but I was wrong. I have a picture of him on my table stand. I find myself shedding tears whenever I look at his cute and attractive face. I felt closer to him than any of my past experiences. Even though we are no longer a couple, we are still online friends, or “penpals” as he sometimes puts it. Its something left from the relationship. At least he didn’t completely forget about me. Today, I’m still his friend. We still talk online, sadly not as much as we used to. He is still there for me whenever I feel depressed and I for him, but it doesn’t feel the same. I should be grateful he still wants to be my friend and have me in his life.”

- Alec[/b]

character and concept: :iconalecdeloupe:

artwork © 2012 Alex Cockburn