Dear L,

My boyfriend is a big Dungeon and Dragons nerd as well as a WoW patron. In his D&D lifestyle, he loves creating worlds, making stories for them as well as characters and other concepts, and playing them out. In his WoW lifestyle, he loves raiding with people he knows or complete strangers for hours on end. It got to a point where you don't even have to guess what room he would be in whenever he comes home from work or school. At first I didn't really complain that much. Being his girlfriend, I tried my hand in his fantasy world and WoW campaigns. For a while, I played with him, learning the ropes and the books until I was no longer a "newb" to him. On special occasions, we even "larp"ed in the bed room, i.e roleplaying our sexual fantasies.

I was wrong when I thought his obsession for the fantasy world couldn't get any worse. This new game came out last month for his console system and ever since, he was glued to the TV set. He hardly goes to work or school anymore as he juggles his D&D games, WoW raids and now this. It came to a point where I started to pick up extra shifts at my work just to make up for what he lost. I didn't mind it as much until I, his girlfriend, started to fade from his attention. He hardly notices me anymore, even when I want to make love to him. He would brush me off, saying that he was too busy or too hooked into the game he was playing. When I do managed to get his attention, our love making would be quick, emotional-less and rather dull. I find myself just sitting next to him on the couch, watching him play. This is the only time where I feel like we are spending "quality" time with each other.

My friends suggest that I leave him to his games, then he would slowly realize that something important was missing from his life. As much as I want to do that, I can't. We have been in a relationship for too long and I cant just leave without putting up some kind of fight for attention.

What should I do? I love him too much to just leave him, but that just causes me to feel more hurt. I have been replaced by these video games and I can't get him to see that I'm real and those characters in his fantasy world aren't. I don't want to resort to throwing his computer games out the window like some mad woman in a Jerry Springer show, but I can't stand him showing more attention to those video games than me. What should I do? What can I do to help him out of this state of imagination? His job and education is on the line and if I wait too long to do something, he will lose both... and soon, maybe me...

Please help me. Thank you.

• Jen

I did this picture when Skyrim came out. I did watch those YouTube videos of Skyrim musicals so I know the joke there very well. Plus my first DnD campaign was destroyed because all my friends played WoW. They tried to juggle raiding while playing my game. You can figure out what happened there. Some of my friends got kicked out/dropped out of college because WoW took over their life. Its sad.

Dear L - His Own World © 2011 Alex Cockburn