Obamastory 2 by NovaSquirrel

OBAMASTORY 2

A SEQUEL TO OBAMASTORY

The goal here is to be random with no or little plot,

but I keep accidentally inserting a hint of plot :(

after Jon Mahon was impeached for making farting illegal

there were two major canidates:

RONALD MC.DONALD

and THE BURGER KING

with each person's campaign being paid for by the fast food restauraunt they

are associated with. (obviously)

nobody thought of bribing anyone though

because that wasn't what they did, yo

Ronald McDonald was mostly concerned with serving billions

but the Burger King just wanted to do things his way

Bill Gates called Kool Aid Man on THE PHONE

Bill: "Hi is this the kool aid man"

Kool Aid Man: "OH YEAAAAAAAAAAH oh sorry - yes it is sorry"

Bill: "I think you should run for president"

Kool Aid Man: "wait you really think I should"

Bill: "SURE! I'll sponsor you"

so kool aid man got tons of money from bill gates

and decided to run as a 3rd canidate ;3

unlike the other two canidates his political platform was "KOOL AID FOR EVERYONE"

and everyone liked kool aid a lot more than that other stuff

because kool aid is delicious YO

( and he had excellent advertising )

well everyone voted for kool aid man

even people who weren't old enough to vote

and he was elected for president

so Kool Aid Man called a government guy

Kool Aid Man: "Hey I think all the drinking fountains should have kool aid"

government guy: "okay you got it mr president"

and then he hung up

AND THEN ALL DRINKING FOUNTAINS HAD KOOL AID

which was kind of cool ( or should I say kool ;3 )

and congress had to say "OH YEAH" a lot more

(Kool Aid mix was also poured into George the Volcano and he wasn't happy about that)

and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Kool Aid Man: "HEY THATS MY LINE YOU STUPID"

Bush: "plus I already did this early on in the previous story"

so Kool Aid Man sent Bush to jail for breaking the 4th wall

where he saw Kawa and the CDi characters.

Kawa: "oh hey it's george bush"

Bush: "HIIIIIIIIIIII KAWA" =^___^=

Kawa PINNED BUSH TO THE WALL, "HEY. YOU GET US OUT OF HERE RIGHT NOW"

Bush: "please don't hurt me"

this time the walls were OH YEAAAAAAAAAH proof

so they couldn't get out that way

Kawa let go of Bush and Ganon told the ceiling that IT MUST DIE

so a chunk in the ceiling was knocked out leaving a hole

and Kawa FUCKING pushed Gwonam off his flying carpet and rode out of it out of the hole.

Gwonam: "HEY THATS MY CARPET"

Kawa: "lol don't care"

so he flew away

and Gwonam got so pissed off that he turned Kawa into a pony

( he didn't know Kawa would actually like this )

so Kawa fell off the magic carpet but somehow landed safely

AND THERE WAS CHEERILEE!!!!!!!!!!!

umm, and then something happened! :D

<Kiyoshi> Your next story should contain more ponies

<Kiyoshi> And Kawa becoming a pony

<Kiyoshi> And sticking his giant horse dick into Cheerilee's pooper

--- we'll get back to Kawa later ---

a dolphin named Natalie was doing her SAT essay

a burglar broken in

<GreyMaria> I got fucking robbed on my SAT essay

and stole stuff

AND THEN KOOL AID FLOODED THE CLASSROOM and the essay was ruined

the burglar drowned though and the essay was ruined

but it was good for Natalie because SHE WAS A GOOD SWIMMER BECAUSE SHE'S A DOLPHIN

so she got an A+ anyway

anyway some fuckhead opened the class door and it poured out into the hallway and

THEN IT FLOODED THE HALLS.

OH SHIT

Ronald McDonald went back to mcdonalds

Ronald: "hey Guy haven't you been here a bit too long"

Vegeta: "HE'S BEEN HERE OVER 9000 DAYS"

Ronald: "shut up nobody asked you"

and then suddenly mcdonalds needed foundation repair

SO RONALD MCDONALD CALLED HOH SIS

and the joj people showed up

except one of the people had bunny ea- WAIT IS THAT INABA

no it's actually DOCTOR RABBIT, that purple dentist bunny

who heavily endorsed colgate toothpaste.

anyway they repaired the foundation (with lots of dental floss)

joj person: "we did whatever it took to get the joj done"

Kyurel (KARL MARX) had broken up with juana by then and was now dating

the WEED GOD HIMSELF. (he was much cooler)

he could take infinite hits and they were both always high 24/7.

Kyurel: "hey can I have a weed burger"

Ronald: "sorry we don't have those"

but BILLY MAYS was listening

Billy: "SOUNDS LIKE YOU NEED THE BIG CITY DRUG STATION"

so Kyurel bought one.

WHICH WAS COMPLETELY POINTLESS since the WEED GOD could make people

high whenever he wanted so it wasn't needed but only for weed.

the big city drug station had weed AND cocaine mushrooms extacy and other drugs

which was kind of useful I guess

unlimited drugs whenever you need them FOR LIFE

BOMB BUILDINGS PLANES BOMBS HIJACK HIJACK BOMBS OSAMA BIN LADEN TERRORIST WHITE HOUSE

(back to Natalie's school)

* GreyMaria has an escape clause

and then suddenly an EVIL SANTA CLAUS ROBOT STARTED CHASING AFTER NATALIE

( Get it? Escape from Santa Claus? )

Santa: "What would you like for christmas young girl"

Natalie: "I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME THE _FUCK_ ALONE"

Santa: "sorry can't do that"

Natalie: "well can you get nova to leave me alone"

Santa: "NO SHUT UP PLZ"

so Natalie ran out of the school and went to hide in mcdonalds

Kyurel recognized her and waved, "OH HI NATALIE"

Natalie: "there's this evil santa robot after me and he's like worse than nova"

Natalie: "Nova would just hug me and walk away"

Natalie: "but this guy won't give up"

Kyurel: "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"

Kyurel: "well then let him get you something for christmas maybe he'll go away"

Natalie: "BUT THAT COULD BE ANYTHING"

Kyurel: "okay ask him for weed"

Natalie: "I'm not the weed-obsessed one okay"

Kyurel: "no, then you'd give it to ME"

Natalie: "what the FUCK can't your husband get you some I mean he *is* the weed god"

Kyurel: "oh right"

-----and back to the jail kawa broke out of-----

Bush was upset to be in jail

all they served for food was CHICK P SAC YO

which was disgusting because it was chicken shoved inside a PBJ with

salad on it and yogurt! :(

so he puked from how bad it was and said "GOD I'M NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE"

and suddenly a tornado picked him up and sent him to kansas

and he got in a wrestling match with dorothy and the wicked witch

the tin man kicked his ass though

-----okay back to kawa--------

*time had passed to conveniently skip the yiff scene*

so Kawa ended up at ponyville or something with cheerilee

and there was fluttershy who was too shy to do anything

but suddenly fluttershy was like "YOU'RE GOING TO (make love to) ME!!!!"

and then she pounced Kawa and snuggled (maybe naughtily?)

and that was kind of illegal but Kawa didn't complain

(who would?) ;3

and the santa claus robot ran by

but someone peed on it and it rusted and died

and obama was ponified somehow and ran for mayor (his cutie mark was the obama logo)

but the ponies didn't know any better and elected him

and he loved ponyville and friendship

but he got equestria $999999999999999999999 in debts somehow

and Kawa was so fucking pissed off because Nova talks about Obama too much

and this meant he had to hear about obama EVEN MORE

and there was a sign that said:

"OBAMAMEME! It is fun with IE5: scripting I had indecision is painful, where you got it from localhost... hmmm..."

but that made no sense whatsoever and was illegal

so it was taken down

and replaced with a sign that said "jon mahon for president 2017 MAKE FARTS ILLEGAL"

well Kiyoshi drove 125 miles to ponyville

and he walked up to fluttershy

who was.... busy with Kawa

but he pushed her off Kawa and hugged her :3

Fluttershy: "oh dear it's that kiyoshi guy"

Kiyoshi: "yeah"

and then a kid named MolSno appeared at Rainbow Dash's house

wearing a speedo

eating a burrito (and Doritos BUT WE DON'T DISCUSS THOSE)

and Rainbow Dash saw that burrito

and asked for it

so MolSno gave her the burrito

and she tackled MolSno

and something happened in that house! :D

----------------- BACK TO KOOL AID MAN'S PRESIDENCY ----------

he went OH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

oh yeah oops

then a guy named Custer called him on the phone

Kool Aid Man: "HELLO THIS IS THE KOOL AID MAN"

Custer: "i want revenge yo"

Kool Aid Man: "HEY I PLAYED YOUR VIDEOGAME FOR ATARI 2600 IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME"

Custer: "yeah and I played yours yo IT FUCKING SUCKED"

Kool Aid Man: "oh YEAH well Custer's Revenge wasn't that cool either" >:(

Custer: "YOU JUST SAID YOU LIKED IT"

Kool Aid Man: "WELL... *YOU* are on The Pill"

Custer: "no lol its impossible"

so custer went to jail

but he raped native american women there

and got kicked out

and sent to ET's house as an alternative

and he wasn't allowed to leave until he beat ET for Atari 2600

meanwhile ET was phoning home and talking to custer's parents about his behavior

they were very disappointed in him

<NightKev> >"If there are extra-terrestrial intelligent beings at all, it is safe to assume that most of them are sinners too," Weidemann said. "If so, did Jesus save them too? My position is no. If so, our position among intelligent beings in the universe would be very exceptional."

this meant ET was going to hell!

so they were disappointed in ET too

Kool Aid Man was walking on the street and Jon Mahon was on the front lawn of the white house

Kool Aid Man: "JON MAHON GET OFF MY LAWN"

Jon Mahon: "lol come make me"

so then jon fondled a garden gnome

Kool Aid Man: "HEY JON WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THOSE LAWN ORNAMENTS"

so jon picked it up and started running off

and kool aid man chased after him

...right into a nuke factory, where a radioactive coyote celebrity named Ezno worked.

He absolutely HATED his job so he was a special kind of hooker where if you did his

job for him he would repay you with yiff.

kool aid man was chasing jon mahon all over the place

Ezno: "woah woah woah wtf you guys get outta here"

Jon Mahon: "lol no"

so Ezno started running after Jon too

and then Barocket Obama bashed thrugh the wall and shot out a missile which blew up a nuke

and then there was a nuclear explosion

but a tiny one

Ezno: "OH FUCK EVERYONE OUT NOW"

so they got out

and nobody was harmed

except kool aid man who mutated into kool AIDS man

and nobody wanted that

so he was impeached!


so it was back to the presidential elections!

now it was Ronald McDonald vs Barack Obama vs the Burger King

Barack Obama stood for:

<Distrcat> also: inb4 obama becomes a brony, and bronifies congress. then,

usa will become equestria. the constitution will be trashed, and rewritten

in accordance with tolerance and friendship

the Burger King however was getting financed by both Bill Gates *AND* Fortran

and he was running alongside his wife the Dairy Queen

every single person in america voted for the burger king

and to celebrate he had free whoppers for everyone

every mcdonalds went out of business and was replaced with a burger king,

so Vegeta and Kyurel and Weed God and Guy and Natalie and the others were at

a Burger King now, which also meant they had to hire stag019 immediately

( they also fired ronald mcdonald and he went on adventures with the touhou girls )

except he actually had weed so he was able to make Kyurel and the Weed God

the Weed Burger they wanted.

so they left!

and went back to their Farting-Underneath-Crazy-Kanadians-In-New-Germany house

( yes tubular is still there )

leaving Vegeta and Guy and Natalie together

( wait wasn't there billy mays too )

Okay Vegeta and Guy and Natalie and Billy Mays.

Guy went on DigitalMZX and commented on one of Lachesis's things

she emailed him a bag of pizza rolls

so he ate them and emailed her back the EMPTY BAG OF PIZZA ROLLS


so the king of hyrule found out about burger king being president

and he shit his pants

except he forgot he wasn't wearing pants

and a guy was all "WTF YOU CAN'T TAKE A DUMP *HERE*"

so he went to jail

( the lack of pants was legal though )

Burger King got a call from the King of Hyrule.

King of Hyrule: "oh hi"

Burger King: "hi"

King of Hyrule: "calling you from jail because apparently all the cdi characters are there"

Burger King: "hey did you hear kawa got out"

King of Hyrule: "yeah why was he even in there"

Burger King: "ITS FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY"

King of Hyrule: "OH FUCK STOP THAT RIGHT NOW OR I'LL NUKE YOU"

Burger King: "Yeah that's what he did"

Burger King: "a country had Friday in its national anthem and he NUKED EM"

King of Hyrule: "how did he even get access to nukes"

Burger King: "dunno lol"

and he got off the phone with the king of hyrule

and declared war on nikoboard!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so nikoboard sent Velma from Scooby Doo to the White House.

she attacked by throwing her glasses at people like a boomerang

and they were super dangerous

and then going "JINKIES! I CAN'T SEE WITHOUT MY GLASSES"

and then it came back but made a loud fart noise when it did

and she got through all the guards to obama and told him to

stop the war on nikoboard and he did


Karkat (from Homestuck) was hungry so he went in burger king

Karkat: "HI "

Billy Mays: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR MIGHTY PUTTY :3"

Karkat: "WHAT THE FUCK! ANOTHER ALL CAPS PERSON"

Karkat: "EXCEPT HE'S ACTUALLY HAPPY ABOUT HIS SHOUTING"

Billy Mays: "THAT'S RIGHT I LOVE TO SHOUT ALL THE TIME"

Billy Mays: "HEY BUY OXICLEAN"

Karkat: "FUCK NO I CAME HERE FOR A BURGER NOT CLEANING PRODUCTS"

Karkat: "CLEANING PRODUCTS ARE OFFENSIVE GTFO"

Billy Mays: "SOMEONE NEEDS TO TURN THEIR FROWN UPSIDE DOWN"

Vegeta: "wtf are you two doing"

Billy Mays: "TALKING TO THIS OTHER ALL CAPS GUY"

Billy Mays: "YOU MAY BE INTERESTED IN AWESOME TOXIC SPRAY"

Billy Mays: "IT KILLS STUFF FROM UP TO 50 FEET AWAY"

Karkat: "SWEET GIVE ME OVER NI-"

Vegeta: "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111"

Karkat: "SHUT UP VEGETA"

so billy mays sold Karkat some Awesome Toxic Spray and Squadelah Putty.

and he left

but forgot to get a burger

OH WELL

Obamastory 2

NovaSquirrel

24 February 2013 at 17:42:59 MST

Sequel to Obamastory. This one's like 99% filler and not nearly as good.

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