warning this story is probably highly offensive if the word offensive is offensive STOP READING NOW
if you think obama is doing a great job FUCKING STOP READING NOW
IF YOU THINK THE WORD "FUCK" IS OFFENSIVE THEN OOPS I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS
my goal here is to be as random as Haruto and also offend #acmlm
SO obama was spending over $9000 every day on burritos to throw at old people but they didn't like it very much in fact they regretted voting for him OH WELL. he was almost impeached but then he gave every old person an OLD PERSON TV that only had the Obama Channel which had speeches and interviews and stuff of Obama 24/7 and that somehow made it okay. the national debt was 999999999999 trillion after just two months as president. the economy was a fucking mess.
so now Obama was sitting at his desk at the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE or something, fucking trying
to order a copy of Bomberman and Billy Mays called him on the phone
Billy:"HI BILLY MAYS HERE I HAVE AN AMAZING OFFER 'I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' TSHIRT ONLY $19.95"
Obama:"shut up billy mays can't you see I'm busy"
Billy:"BUSY WITH WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE ECONOMY"
Obama:"no I'm not. shut up"
---and then vegeta came on the phone----
Vegeta: "well you spent like over 9000 dollars a day"
Obama: "NO I DIDN'T FUCK YOU"
obama slammed the phone down in rage
and then it rang again
Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR HOMO INSURANCE"
Obama: "stop calling me to sell me homo insurance"
Billy: "YEAH BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS YOU A HOMO YOU GET A DOLLAR"
Obama: "why would I want that I'm fucking rich how else would I be able to afford THE OBAMA CHANNEL"
Billy: "NO THAT ISN'T YOUR MONEY YOU RETARD! YOU KEEP SPENDING AND NOW WE'RE 999999999999 TRILLION IN DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Vince: "hey buy shamwow"
Billy: "SHUT THE FUCK UP VINCE NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Vince: "WELL AT LEAST I didn't fuck up the ECONOMY"
Billy: "OH RIGHT"
Obama: "SHUT THE FUCK UP i didn't ruin the economy"
Billy: "HEY AS A SPECIAL OFFER I'LL GIVE YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY SHIRT' ABSOLUTELY FREE"
Obama: "oh hey FREE STUFF i'll take it ship it to my house immediately"
Billy: "OH OKAY MR PRESIDENT HMMMMMMMMMMMM"
so the special tshirt got shipped to the whitehouse in a box with PONIES ON IT
Obama: "OH BOY OH BOY ITS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
he opens it and pulls out the tshirt and it was actually the original "I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY" shirt
AND IT GLOWED IN THE DARK. and he PUT THE SHIRT ON without actually taking the other one off.
Obama: "OH FUCK ITS TIME TO WATCH POKEYMANS"
so he turned on the TV
AND HE TURNED INTO "BROCK OBAMA"
Obama: "wtf I'm a pokemon gym leader"
except he didn't actually have any pokemon he just looked like brock from pokemon
AND THEN MISTY SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR
Obama: "oh fuck you"
and then obama was "BaROCKET Obomba" and no longer looked like brock
NOW HE LOOKED LIKE EITHER A TERRORIST OR A ROBOT OR EVEN A TERRORIST ROBOT
i can't decide which
AND HE BLEW STUFF UP WITH MISSILES AND BOMBS
Obama: "oh oops SORRY MISTY DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW YOU UP"
and then obama ate healthy snacks and was "BAROCCOLI OBAMA"
and he BLEW THE FUCKING NATIONAL DEBT EVEN HIGHER BY BUYING WAY TOO MUCH BROCCOLI.
and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went
Obama: "WTF BUSH YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT also you aren't kool aid man"
and then he was barocket obama and blew up more stuff
and then bush was kool aid man and busted through another wall
Obama: "OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
and then Obama was normal obama
and then BILLY MAYS BUSTED THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL
Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE BUY KOOL AID OH YEAH"
Obama: "oh shut the fuck up billy. bush was already kool aid man"
Billy: "THEN MAYBE I COULD be the KOOL AIDS MAN THAT WOULD BE SORT OF DIFFERENT"
Billy: "ALSO WE DIDN'T SEND YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' SHIRT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEND YOU"
Obama: "oh fuck I didn't notice"
and then obama took off the shirt
but the next time pokemon was on NOTHING HAPPENED
the next time he ate healthy NOTHING HAPPENED
the next time someone random showed up NOTHING HAPPENED
SO BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY SHOWED UP AND WAS ALL "obama that shirt made you shift between barack and brock and barocket and baroccoli"
Obama: "Oh FINE GEEZ"
and obama put the shirt back on
then Obama went to a rock concert and became BAROCKSTAR OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Obama: "OH FUCK"
and then obama did a guitar solo
AN EPIC GUITAR SOLO
A VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO
A VERY VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO
okay stop it with the stupid stuff
ANYWAY BAROCKSTAR OBAMA WAS VERY FAMOUS
and then pokemon came on
AND HE WAS somehow BROCKSTAR OBAMA and somehow did pokemon themed guitar solos
it was very illegal
AND THEN OBAMA GOT ARRESTED
and there were CDi characters there
and mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA DIS IS ILLEGAL YU NO"
and then there was lots of toast (blame NovaBot)
Fat Mario: "OH FUCK TOO MANY TOASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS"
and then obama was barocket obomba
AND BLEW UP A WALL
AND SNUCK OUT
and nobody noticed it
well actually someone did notice it
mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL"
but obama didn't care
ALSO OBAMA COLLECTED $200 WHICH HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO
and then became baroccoli obama and spent it on healthy foods
AND THEN HE PASSED GO
which was illegal
OH FUCK WE AREN'T PLAYING MONOPOLY
OH YES WE ARE
OBAMA BUILT HIS FUCKING MANSION ON BOARDWALK
with lasers and FUCKING DORITOS DISPENSERS
actually no the doritos shot lasers
obama gets in his OBAMA MOBILE
and drives to BOARDWALK MANSION
AND THE FUCKING BILLYBOB GUY WAS THERE
Obama: "get off my fucking house"
bob: "oh okay"
AND THEN HE DROVE TO # AND the topic was Persistence in bad habits
BUT THEN OBAMA SET THE TOPIC TO "farte butte"
AND GOT KICKED OUT BY A PONY OOPS I MEAN BRONY
HIS NAME STARTED WITH A "K"
and then obama drove to the store (SAW POKEMON ON THE TVs, WAS BROCK OBAMA)
and bought some nerf guns and infinite pizza rolls with his credit card
<Kawa> And I got my card so money's not an issue.
<NovaYoshi> it's a credit card except it adds to the national debt of the united states
<NovaYoshi> obama has 5
<Kawa> Stop that
and then crafted PIZZA ROLL GUN.
but just then RICK ASTLEY ATTACKED THE CITY WITH PAPER DOLL MAN
Onix: WOAH ONIX GO
Onix: onix onix
Obama: ONIX USE THUNDERBOLT
wtf he doesn't have that move
actually didn't I mention earlier that brock obama didn't actually have any pokemon?
PAPER DOLL MAN USED HIS SOLAR RAY GUN
AND MADE A PRINTER COME ALIVE
and then it printed off furry porn
............................oh sweet that's hot
ANYWAY, THERE WAS BLOOD AND SPERM EVERYWHERE
HE JUST KEPT SAYING, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"
so obama EQUIPPED HIS PIZZA ROLL GUN and shot at rick astley
BUT THAT FAILED BECAUSE HE JUST ATE THE PIZZA ROLLS
AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THERE WAS THAT FUCKING JON MAHON CYBORG FROM MY LAST STORY
he shot a laser rocket from his nipple and blew up a building
but then RICK ASTLEY GOT SCARED OF EITHER JON MAHON OR PAPER DOLL MAN AND HID
so Paper Doll Man slipped quietly through the crack in the door to Rick's house
and stole over 9000 copies of NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP (also there was PLAN X in the house)
and then later JON MAHON FOUND OUT AND TOLD RICK ASTLEY
and rick was absolutely furious and went after paper doll man but he kept slipping through door cracks
and could never catch him
or even find him now because he turned into a paper airplane and flew away
but rick didn't know that
so he gave up
ANYWAY RICK AND JON MAHON LEFT THE CITY BECAUSE THEY GOT BORED
Obama: "I WON :3"
no you did not
and then on the moon a paper airplane showed up at the house of some moon bunny
named Inaba and then turned out to be PAPER DOLL MAN. although plan X was at rick astley's
house, plan XXX was at Inaba's, which Paper Doll Man also wanted for some reason.
It had a detailed plan for what would happen if he ever arrived at a certain yoshifox's house.
so Paper doll man stole plan XXX and flew off but Inaba followed him in a spaceship over to a
certain house, ON EARTH. Inaba looked around in the house but could not find the paper doll man
...but sitting on the couch was a certain yoshifox.
meanwhile Osama bin Laden had just blown up some guy's house and they were chasing after him
but he went to the moon and nobody could find him because he was on the moon. The guy then
went to NASA and asked for a spaceship but it costed too much and then later Osama blew up
the moon and that was illegal but he never got arrested because nobody could find him because
he was hiding on the moon. HOWEVER he remembered he blew it up and went to Mars instead and
built a secret base with Martian technology.
Inaba learned of this and noticed that Paper Doll Man had saved his life, causing him to become
very obsessed with paper doll man.
well Bomberman finally got delivered but Obama did not see the possible name pun
and he became
oops then someone random showed up at the door and he was BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN
which was kind of illegal but not enough for people to care
SO THEN LATER OBAMA DROVE TO PIZZA HUT AND GOT A PIZZA
AND WROTE "FROM #BOTPLACE" ON IT AND DROVE 125 MILES TO GIVE IT TO
A LOUPDRAKE IN TEXAS who was with jon mahon and an opposum
who did not care because said loupdrake hated Obama
BUT GAVE OBAMA THE "Big City Detergent Ball" which must be
a super powered version of the Oxiclean Detergent Ball, right? :D
IT GOT SHIT ALL OVER HIS CLOTHES
anyway normal jon mahon was there and he saw obama's awesome tshirt
and got one for his own so he could do cool transformations but the author
can't think of any good puns on Jon's name other than "JON MORON" and that's
not very cool - well, maybe he could be SHAH JAHAN (didn't the author confuse
the two once in 7th grade I think they did) but that was stupid
so obama drove away from the loupdrake's house and tried to drive to Billy Mays's house
but there was a fucking BILLY MAZE blocking it (obama's too dumb to get through the maze)
so he went somewhere else back to his fuckin doritos laser house
so then obama saw a guy's house getting lifted away into microsoft's anti-piracy department
with a gigantic crane with a metal claw on the end because he downloaded windows 7
but he was playing fucking megazeux games
so in his next speech he mentioned megazeux and talked about the guy who he called Guy
<NovaYoshi> get Obama to talk about MZX
<Guy> that would be horrible
<Guy> oh, god
<Guy> all reporters investigating me
and then reporters investigated Guy and asked him questions in lots of interviews
so he drove back to # and the BRONY WHOSE NAME STARTED WITH K was high and he was married to a
guy named juana really it was kind of disgusting.
GET IT?????????? MARRIED JUANA -> MARIJUANA.
?!!?!???!??? anyway he changed his name to KARL MARX because for lunch everyday he ate communism
how he did it was he took a toaster-strudel and drew a hammer and sicle on it.
and then a DIFFERENT brony whose name started with K who was not high nuked a country
because they embedded Friday in their national anthem
<Kawa> Requesting a layout nuke on Perfect Infinity
<Kawa> For embedding a hidden autoplaying Youtube of "Friday".
<Kawa> In his signature.
and that was illegal so he went to jail
ANYWAY KAWA had a phone and he saw the number 1101227 (phone thought it was a number)
and touched it accidentally
Kawa: oh fuck did not mean to do that
and IT CALLED OBAMA SO THEY GOT INTO A CONVERSATION
Kawa: Okay who is this
Obama: THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES YOU DOPE
Kawa: i am in europe
Obama: GOING TO SEND YOU FIVE DOLLARS
Kawa: what that's not my currency wtf
so then obama hung up
so then OBAMA DROVE TO CANADA
and then he forced some poor guy named tubular into his car
BUT AFTER THAT he drove 125 miles to nova's house
and he dropped tubular off
and JUST FUCKING DROVE AWAY
some very naughty things went on in that house
and then obama drove to PEN ISLAND where everything was shaped like pens
like seriously there were no coconuts the pens grew on trees
so OBAMA MOVED "IS" over to be part of "PEN" and it was kind of inappropriate after that
fucking penis grew on trees man
so Obama went back home to the whitehouse and was going to take a nap in the oval office
but then Hitler busted into the room after years of everybody thinking he's dead, and he
was like, "IIIIIIIIII'M BACK!" and tore off his shirt, revealing gigantic pecs because he's
been working out while hiding, and he starts beating the fuckin' shit out of everybody,
starting with the French government.
it was pretty stupid, and eventually Goku found him and decided to battle.
BUT THIS CAUSED HITLER TO GO FUCKING "ARYAN RAGE" MODE WITH BLOND+SPIKY HAIR and BLUE EYES.
and they were trying to shoot at eachother with kamehamehas and stuff and hit lots of buildings
so obama played bomberman and went BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN
and found them and tried throwing bombs at them to get them to stop but he had a terrible aim
and that only blew up more buildings
so then Vegeta showed up and fucked shit up.
but obama went home because he just didn't care
well Nova somehow got power in Karl Marx's FUCKING HOUSE and well...
* tubular removes ban on huge_boner!*@*
* tubular removes ban on thick_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on /ban!*@*
* tubular removes ban on osama_bin_laden's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on glenn_beck's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on obama's_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on action_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on cunt!*@*
* tubular removes ban on fuck!*@*
* tubular removes ban on moldy.cheese!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Bill_Nye's_cock!*@*
* tubular removes ban on long_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on thick_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on astronauts.without.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on astronauts.with.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on this.that.space.penises.are.not.in!*@*
* tubular removes ban on things.that.are.not.space.penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on space_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on erect_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on okay_fine_asshole!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Nova_that_isn't_funny!*@*
* tubular removes ban on more_unnecessary_bans!*@*
* tubular removes ban on I_found_waldo!*@*
* tubular removes ban on find_waldo!*@*
* tubular removes ban on Nova_stop_that!*@*
* tubular removes ban on unnecessary_ban!*@*
* tubular removes ban on power_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on old_person_penis!*@*
* tubular removes ban on big_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on hairy_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on robot_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on child_penises!*@* <-- keeps Mare out
* tubular removes ban on medium_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on small_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on huge_penises!*@*
* tubular removes ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*
* tubular sets ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*
* tubular sets ban on bttest*!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *penis*!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *waldo!*@*
* tubular sets ban on *ban!*@*
but that COMPLETELY RUINS EVERYTHING
THE WHOLE POINT WAS HAVING TONS OF PENIS STUFF IN THE BAN LIST
I MEAN GEEZ
so Obama drove to Microsoft's anti-piracy department to rescue Guy
and there were armed ninjas blocking the way
but he just sniffed their armpits and they weren't armed ninjas anymore
they were armpit ninjas
SO THEY ATTACKED WITH ARMPIT FART NOISES
which didn't put up any challenge at all and Obama just drove on through
to the room with Guy in it
and he took Guy and put him in his car
AND GUY DREW AN AVATAR FOR OBAMA THAT WAS 40 PIXELS WIDE AND 56 PIXELS TALL
IN TWO COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
obama thanked him and dropped him off at mcdonalds
WHERE BILLY MAYS WAS SHOWING OFF HIS BIG CITY SLIDER STATION
MAKING OVER 9000 BURGERS FOR EVERYONE
vegeta was there and ate 3
BUT HE ALSO SOLD TONS OF PRODUCTS LIKE THE "WHAT CHILDREN? ELIMINATOR"
and the restrooms were replaced with the BIG CITY TOILET
that you could plug in anywhere to shit in
guy ate like 2 burgers
obama drove to UNITINU
where everything was a palindrome
and where people drove racecars and there were guys named otto
and the national animal was the TACO CAT.
and his shirt caused him to become OBABO ( http://imgur.com/gallery/QkQmz )
where there was also OSASO ( http://i.imgur.com/AykPy.jpg )
and then obabo went and saw there was a presidential election coming up
the other canidate was amama and looked pretty fucking weird
so obabo ran for president in unitinu and won because the other canidate
looked fucking weird I mean it's like obabo except using the other half
of the name mirrored.
THE HIT TV SHOW IN UNITINU WAS NAMED "cailliou tlt ouilliac" and
it was about a mirror imaged bald kid who made pizzas.
BUT THE COUNTRY WAS AT WAR WITH MEXIOIXEM
so obabo left (and became obama again)
and OSASO fucking took over
and unitinu blew up countries
especially fucking MEXIOIXEM
and cailliou became racist and eventually became "pinkie pie tlt oulliac"
and that was the new hit show
well OSASO teamed up with super saiyan hitler and goku
and they were an unstoppable team
SO OBAMA GOT CYBORG JON MAHON ON HIS TEAM
WHO WAS (according to the Jon Mahon Chronicles) EVEN MORE UNSTOPPABLE
he shot missiles out of his nipples and blew up buildings
but never actually hit hitler or goku or osaso
anne frank was hiding in one of the buildings so she jumped out right in time
and hitler and goku saw her
hitler wanted to get rid of her because she was a jew
but goku FELL IN LOVE WITH ANNE FRANK
and hitler and goku went off to fight somewhere
leaving osaso vs CYBORG JON MAHON and obama
(but it doesn't really matter since obama is a dumbass)
so osaso ran away
well everyone was fucking pissed with Obama
FUCKING DRIVING EVERYWHERE
instead of actually doing actual president things...
and impeached him
( that means he ate a peach )
and jon mahon became president
who was a very bad president and made farting illegal
and he also got impeached
24 February 2013 at 17:40:37 MST
My first crazy story I did where I mixed in tons of internet friends. For the original SMWCentral thread I posted this on see http://www.smwcentral.net/?p=viewthread&t=51397