Obamastory (totally immature) by NovaSquirrel (critique requested)

warning this story is probably highly offensive if the word offensive is offensive STOP READING NOW

if you think obama is doing a great job FUCKING STOP READING NOW

IF YOU THINK THE WORD "FUCK" IS OFFENSIVE THEN OOPS I DIDN'T MEAN TO HURT YOUR FEELINGS

my goal here is to be as random as Haruto and also offend #acmlm

no I did not ask many of the people who got cameos in this if they wanted to be in it or not.

SO obama was spending over $9000 every day on burritos to throw at old people but they didn't like it very much in fact they regretted voting for him OH WELL. he was almost impeached but then he gave every old person an OLD PERSON TV that only had the Obama Channel which had speeches and interviews and stuff of Obama 24/7 and that somehow made it okay. the national debt was 999999999999 trillion after just two months as president. the economy was a fucking mess.

so now Obama was sitting at his desk at the FUCKING WHITE HOUSE or something, fucking trying

to order a copy of Bomberman and Billy Mays called him on the phone

Billy:"HI BILLY MAYS HERE I HAVE AN AMAZING OFFER 'I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' TSHIRT ONLY $19.95"

Obama:"shut up billy mays can't you see I'm busy"

Billy:"BUSY WITH WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE FUCKING UP THE ECONOMY"

Obama:"no I'm not. shut up"

---and then vegeta came on the phone----

Vegeta: "well you spent like over 9000 dollars a day"

Obama: "NO I DIDN'T FUCK YOU"

obama slammed the phone down in rage

and then it rang again

Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE FOR HOMO INSURANCE"

Obama: "stop calling me to sell me homo insurance"

Billy: "YEAH BUT EVERY TIME SOMEONE CALLS YOU A HOMO YOU GET A DOLLAR"

Obama: "why would I want that I'm fucking rich how else would I be able to afford THE OBAMA CHANNEL"

Billy: "NO THAT ISN'T YOUR MONEY YOU RETARD! YOU KEEP SPENDING AND NOW WE'RE 999999999999 TRILLION IN DEBT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vince: "hey buy shamwow"

Billy: "SHUT THE FUCK UP VINCE NOBODY LIKES YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Vince: "WELL AT LEAST I didn't fuck up the ECONOMY"

Billy: "OH RIGHT"

Obama: "SHUT THE FUCK UP i didn't ruin the economy"

Billy: "HEY AS A SPECIAL OFFER I'LL GIVE YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY SHIRT' ABSOLUTELY FREE"

Obama: "oh hey FREE STUFF i'll take it ship it to my house immediately"

Billy: "OH OKAY MR PRESIDENT HMMMMMMMMMMMM"

so the special tshirt got shipped to the whitehouse in a box with PONIES ON IT

Obama: "OH BOY OH BOY ITS WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

he opens it and pulls out the tshirt and it was actually the original "I FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY" shirt

AND IT GLOWED IN THE DARK. and he PUT THE SHIRT ON without actually taking the other one off.

Obama: "OH FUCK ITS TIME TO WATCH POKEYMANS"

so he turned on the TV

AND HE TURNED INTO "BROCK OBAMA"

Obama: "wtf I'm a pokemon gym leader"

except he didn't actually have any pokemon he just looked like brock from pokemon

AND THEN MISTY SHOWED UP AT THE DOOR

Obama: "oh fuck you"

and then obama was "BaROCKET Obomba" and no longer looked like brock

NOW HE LOOKED LIKE EITHER A TERRORIST OR A ROBOT OR EVEN A TERRORIST ROBOT

i can't decide which

AND HE BLEW STUFF UP WITH MISSILES AND BOMBS

Obama: "oh oops SORRY MISTY DIDN'T MEAN TO BLOW YOU UP"

and then obama ate healthy snacks and was "BAROCCOLI OBAMA"

and he BLEW THE FUCKING NATIONAL DEBT EVEN HIGHER BY BUYING WAY TOO MUCH BROCCOLI.

and then GEORGE BUSH BUSTED THROUGH THE WALL and went

"OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Obama: "WTF BUSH YOU GOTTA PAY FOR THAT also you aren't kool aid man"

and then he was barocket obama and blew up more stuff

Obama: "...fuck"

and then bush was kool aid man and busted through another wall

Obama: "OH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"

and then Obama was normal obama

and then BILLY MAYS BUSTED THROUGH THE FUCKING WALL

Billy: "HI BILLY MAYS HERE BUY KOOL AID OH YEAH"

Obama: "oh shut the fuck up billy. bush was already kool aid man"

Billy: "THEN MAYBE I COULD be the KOOL AIDS MAN THAT WOULD BE SORT OF DIFFERENT"

Billy: "ALSO WE DIDN'T SEND YOU THE 'I DIDN'T FUCKED UP THE ECONOMY' SHIRT WE SAID WE WERE GOING TO SEND YOU"

Obama: "oh fuck I didn't notice"

and then obama took off the shirt

but the next time pokemon was on NOTHING HAPPENED

the next time he ate healthy NOTHING HAPPENED

the next time someone random showed up NOTHING HAPPENED

SO BILL NYE THE SCIENCE GUY SHOWED UP AND WAS ALL "obama that shirt made you shift between barack and brock and barocket and baroccoli"

Obama: "Oh FINE GEEZ"

and obama put the shirt back on

then Obama went to a rock concert and became BAROCKSTAR OBAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Obama: "OH FUCK"

and then obama did a guitar solo

AN EPIC GUITAR SOLO

A VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO

A VERY VERY EPIC GUITAR SOLO

okay stop it with the stupid stuff

sorry

ANYWAY BAROCKSTAR OBAMA WAS VERY FAMOUS

and then pokemon came on

AND HE WAS somehow BROCKSTAR OBAMA and somehow did pokemon themed guitar solos

it was very illegal

AND THEN OBAMA GOT ARRESTED

and there were CDi characters there

and mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA DIS IS ILLEGAL YU NO"

and then there was lots of toast (blame NovaBot)

Fat Mario: "OH FUCK TOO MANY TOASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRS"

and then obama was barocket obomba

AND BLEW UP A WALL

AND SNUCK OUT

and nobody noticed it

well actually someone did notice it

mayor kravindish was all "OBAMA ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL ILLEGAL"

but obama didn't care

ALSO OBAMA COLLECTED $200 WHICH HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO

and then became baroccoli obama and spent it on healthy foods

AND THEN HE PASSED GO

which was illegal

OH FUCK WE AREN'T PLAYING MONOPOLY

...

OH YES WE ARE

OBAMA BUILT HIS FUCKING MANSION ON BOARDWALK

with lasers and FUCKING DORITOS DISPENSERS

actually no the doritos shot lasers

obama gets in his OBAMA MOBILE

and drives to BOARDWALK MANSION

AND THE FUCKING BILLYBOB GUY WAS THERE

Obama: "get off my fucking house"

bob: "oh okay"

AND THEN HE DROVE TO # AND the topic was Persistence in bad habits

BUT THEN OBAMA SET THE TOPIC TO "farte butte"

AND GOT KICKED OUT BY A PONY OOPS I MEAN BRONY

HIS NAME STARTED WITH A "K"

and then obama drove to the store (SAW POKEMON ON THE TVs, WAS BROCK OBAMA)

and bought some nerf guns and infinite pizza rolls with his credit card

<Kawa> And I got my card so money's not an issue.

<NovaYoshi> it's a credit card except it adds to the national debt of the united states

<NovaYoshi> obama has 5

<Kawa> Stop that

<NovaYoshi> :<

and then crafted PIZZA ROLL GUN.

but just then RICK ASTLEY ATTACKED THE CITY WITH PAPER DOLL MAN

Onix: WOAH ONIX GO

Onix: onix onix

Obama: ONIX USE THUNDERBOLT

wtf he doesn't have that move

actually didn't I mention earlier that brock obama didn't actually have any pokemon?

PAPER DOLL MAN USED HIS SOLAR RAY GUN

AND MADE A PRINTER COME ALIVE

and then it printed off furry porn

OH OOPS............................................

............................oh sweet that's hot

fapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfapfap

ANYWAY, THERE WAS BLOOD AND SPERM EVERYWHERE

HE JUST KEPT SAYING, "NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP, NEVER GONNA LET YOU DOWN"

so obama EQUIPPED HIS PIZZA ROLL GUN and shot at rick astley

BUT THAT FAILED BECAUSE HE JUST ATE THE PIZZA ROLLS

aaaaaaa

AND TO MAKE THINGS WORSE THERE WAS THAT FUCKING JON MAHON CYBORG FROM MY LAST STORY

he shot a laser rocket from his nipple and blew up a building

but then RICK ASTLEY GOT SCARED OF EITHER JON MAHON OR PAPER DOLL MAN AND HID

so Paper Doll Man slipped quietly through the crack in the door to Rick's house

and stole over 9000 copies of NEVER GONNA GIVE YOU UP (also there was PLAN X in the house)

and then later JON MAHON FOUND OUT AND TOLD RICK ASTLEY

and rick was absolutely furious and went after paper doll man but he kept slipping through door cracks

and could never catch him

or even find him now because he turned into a paper airplane and flew away

but rick didn't know that

so he gave up

ANYWAY RICK AND JON MAHON LEFT THE CITY BECAUSE THEY GOT BORED

Obama: "I WON :3"

no you did not

and then on the moon a paper airplane showed up at the house of some moon bunny

named Inaba and then turned out to be PAPER DOLL MAN. although plan X was at rick astley's

house, plan XXX was at Inaba's, which Paper Doll Man also wanted for some reason.

It had a detailed plan for what would happen if he ever arrived at a certain yoshifox's house.

so Paper doll man stole plan XXX and flew off but Inaba followed him in a spaceship over to a

certain house, ON EARTH. Inaba looked around in the house but could not find the paper doll man

anywhere...

...but sitting on the couch was a certain yoshifox.

;3

meanwhile Osama bin Laden had just blown up some guy's house and they were chasing after him

but he went to the moon and nobody could find him because he was on the moon. The guy then

went to NASA and asked for a spaceship but it costed too much and then later Osama blew up

the moon and that was illegal but he never got arrested because nobody could find him because

he was hiding on the moon. HOWEVER he remembered he blew it up and went to Mars instead and

built a secret base with Martian technology.

Inaba learned of this and noticed that Paper Doll Man had saved his life, causing him to become

very obsessed with paper doll man.

well fuck

well Bomberman finally got delivered but Obama did not see the possible name pun

and he became

Barack Obomberman

...

oops then someone random showed up at the door and he was BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN

which was kind of illegal but not enough for people to care

SO THEN LATER OBAMA DROVE TO PIZZA HUT AND GOT A PIZZA

AND WROTE "FROM #BOTPLACE" ON IT AND DROVE 125 MILES TO GIVE IT TO

A LOUPDRAKE IN TEXAS who was with jon mahon and an opposum

who did not care because said loupdrake hated Obama

BUT GAVE OBAMA THE "Big City Detergent Ball" which must be

a super powered version of the Oxiclean Detergent Ball, right? :D

no

IT GOT SHIT ALL OVER HIS CLOTHES

OH SHIT

anyway normal jon mahon was there and he saw obama's awesome tshirt

and got one for his own so he could do cool transformations but the author

can't think of any good puns on Jon's name other than "JON MORON" and that's

not very cool - well, maybe he could be SHAH JAHAN (didn't the author confuse

the two once in 7th grade I think they did) but that was stupid

so obama drove away from the loupdrake's house and tried to drive to Billy Mays's house

but there was a fucking BILLY MAZE blocking it (obama's too dumb to get through the maze)

so he went somewhere else back to his fuckin doritos laser house

so then obama saw a guy's house getting lifted away into microsoft's anti-piracy department

with a gigantic crane with a metal claw on the end because he downloaded windows 7

but he was playing fucking megazeux games

so in his next speech he mentioned megazeux and talked about the guy who he called Guy

<NovaYoshi> get Obama to talk about MZX

<Guy> that would be horrible

<Guy> oh, god

<Guy> all reporters investigating me

and then reporters investigated Guy and asked him questions in lots of interviews

so he drove back to # and the BRONY WHOSE NAME STARTED WITH K was high and he was married to a

guy named juana really it was kind of disgusting.

GET IT?????????? MARRIED JUANA -> MARIJUANA.

?!!?!???!??? anyway he changed his name to KARL MARX because for lunch everyday he ate communism

how he did it was he took a toaster-strudel and drew a hammer and sicle on it.

and then a DIFFERENT brony whose name started with K who was not high nuked a country

because they embedded Friday in their national anthem

<Kawa> Requesting a layout nuke on Perfect Infinity

<Kawa> For embedding a hidden autoplaying Youtube of "Friday".

<Kawa> In his signature.

and that was illegal so he went to jail

ANYWAY KAWA had a phone and he saw the number 1101227 (phone thought it was a number)

and touched it accidentally

Kawa: oh fuck did not mean to do that

and IT CALLED OBAMA SO THEY GOT INTO A CONVERSATION

Kawa: Okay who is this

Obama: THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES YOU DOPE

Kawa: i am in europe

Obama: GOING TO SEND YOU FIVE DOLLARS

Kawa: what that's not my currency wtf

so then obama hung up

wtf

so then OBAMA DROVE TO CANADA

and then he forced some poor guy named tubular into his car

BUT AFTER THAT he drove 125 miles to nova's house

and he dropped tubular off

and JUST FUCKING DROVE AWAY

some very naughty things went on in that house

and then obama drove to PEN ISLAND where everything was shaped like pens

like seriously there were no coconuts the pens grew on trees

so OBAMA MOVED "IS" over to be part of "PEN" and it was kind of inappropriate after that

fucking penis grew on trees man

FUCKING PENIS

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

so Obama went back home to the whitehouse and was going to take a nap in the oval office

but then Hitler busted into the room after years of everybody thinking he's dead, and he

was like, "IIIIIIIIII'M BACK!" and tore off his shirt, revealing gigantic pecs because he's

been working out while hiding, and he starts beating the fuckin' shit out of everybody,

starting with the French government.

it was pretty stupid, and eventually Goku found him and decided to battle.

BUT THIS CAUSED HITLER TO GO FUCKING "ARYAN RAGE" MODE WITH BLOND+SPIKY HAIR and BLUE EYES.

and they were trying to shoot at eachother with kamehamehas and stuff and hit lots of buildings

so obama played bomberman and went BAROCKET OBOMBERMAN

and found them and tried throwing bombs at them to get them to stop but he had a terrible aim

and that only blew up more buildings

fuck

so then Vegeta showed up and fucked shit up.

but obama went home because he just didn't care

well Nova somehow got power in Karl Marx's FUCKING HOUSE and well...

* tubular removes ban on huge_boner!*@*

* tubular removes ban on thick_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on /ban!*@*

* tubular removes ban on osama_bin_laden's_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on glenn_beck's_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on obama's_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on action_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on cunt!*@*

* tubular removes ban on fuck!*@*

* tubular removes ban on moldy.cheese!*@*

* tubular removes ban on Bill_Nye's_cock!*@*

* tubular removes ban on long_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on thick_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on astronauts.without.space.penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on astronauts.with.space.penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on this.that.space.penises.are.not.in!*@*

* tubular removes ban on things.that.are.not.space.penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on space_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on erect_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on okay_fine_asshole!*@*

* tubular removes ban on Nova_that_isn't_funny!*@*

* tubular removes ban on more_unnecessary_bans!*@*

* tubular removes ban on I_found_waldo!*@*

* tubular removes ban on find_waldo!*@*

* tubular removes ban on Nova_stop_that!*@*

* tubular removes ban on unnecessary_ban!*@*

* tubular removes ban on power_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on old_person_penis!*@*

* tubular removes ban on big_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on hairy_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on robot_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on child_penises!*@* <-- keeps Mare out

* tubular removes ban on medium_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on small_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on huge_penises!*@*

* tubular removes ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*

* tubular sets ban on AlcaRobot_Jr!AlcaRobot@*

* tubular sets ban on bttest*!*@*

* tubular sets ban on *penis*!*@*

* tubular sets ban on *waldo!*@*

* tubular sets ban on *ban!*@*

but that COMPLETELY RUINS EVERYTHING

THE WHOLE POINT WAS HAVING TONS OF PENIS STUFF IN THE BAN LIST

I MEAN GEEZ

so Obama drove to Microsoft's anti-piracy department to rescue Guy

and there were armed ninjas blocking the way

but he just sniffed their armpits and they weren't armed ninjas anymore

they were armpit ninjas

SO THEY ATTACKED WITH ARMPIT FART NOISES

which didn't put up any challenge at all and Obama just drove on through

to the room with Guy in it

and he took Guy and put him in his car

AND GUY DREW AN AVATAR FOR OBAMA THAT WAS 40 PIXELS WIDE AND 56 PIXELS TALL

IN TWO COLORS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

obama thanked him and dropped him off at mcdonalds

WHERE BILLY MAYS WAS SHOWING OFF HIS BIG CITY SLIDER STATION

MAKING OVER 9000 BURGERS FOR EVERYONE

vegeta was there and ate 3

BUT HE ALSO SOLD TONS OF PRODUCTS LIKE THE "WHAT CHILDREN? ELIMINATOR"

and the restrooms were replaced with the BIG CITY TOILET

that you could plug in anywhere to shit in

guy ate like 2 burgers

obama drove to UNITINU

where everything was a palindrome

and where people drove racecars and there were guys named otto

and the national animal was the TACO CAT.

and his shirt caused him to become OBABO ( http://imgur.com/gallery/QkQmz )

where there was also OSASO ( http://i.imgur.com/AykPy.jpg )

and then obabo went and saw there was a presidential election coming up

the other canidate was amama and looked pretty fucking weird

so obabo ran for president in unitinu and won because the other canidate

looked fucking weird I mean it's like obabo except using the other half

of the name mirrored.

THE HIT TV SHOW IN UNITINU WAS NAMED "cailliou tlt ouilliac" and

it was about a mirror imaged bald kid who made pizzas.

BUT THE COUNTRY WAS AT WAR WITH MEXIOIXEM

so obabo left (and became obama again)

and OSASO fucking took over

and unitinu blew up countries

especially fucking MEXIOIXEM

and cailliou became racist and eventually became "pinkie pie tlt oulliac"

and that was the new hit show

well OSASO teamed up with super saiyan hitler and goku

and they were an unstoppable team

SO OBAMA GOT CYBORG JON MAHON ON HIS TEAM

WHO WAS (according to the Jon Mahon Chronicles) EVEN MORE UNSTOPPABLE

he shot missiles out of his nipples and blew up buildings

but never actually hit hitler or goku or osaso

anne frank was hiding in one of the buildings so she jumped out right in time

and hitler and goku saw her

hitler wanted to get rid of her because she was a jew

but goku FELL IN LOVE WITH ANNE FRANK

and hitler and goku went off to fight somewhere

leaving osaso vs CYBORG JON MAHON and obama

(but it doesn't really matter since obama is a dumbass)

so osaso ran away

well everyone was fucking pissed with Obama

FUCKING DRIVING EVERYWHERE

instead of actually doing actual president things...

and impeached him

( that means he ate a peach )

and jon mahon became president

who was a very bad president and made farting illegal

and he also got impeached

Obamastory (totally immature) (critique requested)

NovaSquirrel

24 February 2013 at 17:40:37 MST

My first crazy story I did where I mixed in tons of internet friends. For the original SMWCentral thread I posted this on see http://www.smwcentral.net/?p=viewthread&amp;t=51397

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