Hey everyone. 2019 isn't really over just yet, but i've got some time to fill today so i figured i'd do it now.
As usual the favourite for each month, and then the golden highlight as my favourite of the year.
This year was and still is rather rough for me. I don't know if this is the midlife crisis everyone's having in their 20s nowadays or what but it's no fun i can tell you that. It started decently enough, i'd say up to around april or may it was all smooth sailing pretty much before just my confidence came crashing down. It actually feels like 2 different times. When i was going through the first few months i was continuously surprised that these pictures were made in 2019, and it all felt like it would've been early last year instead. While in comparison anything May onwards felt like it was just yesterday...Of course it's not a constant down, there were fun times and good weeks to be had, but the canyons that tore through that landscape were just too steep more often than not, down to and including suicidal periods.
This work can be tough, especially with the likes of twitter around, and it simply did me in. I felt helpless whenever things didn't work, and in return it often time just spiraled further. Wanting to avoid art, every now and then having a ping of excitement only to have it dissipate again when it didn't work how i wanted it to.
Is it gone? Well, no. But i think the new experiences this year i made with Meditation and Mushrooms are what's helping me deal with it. Offering a better ability to be aware of things going on, to let go and all that dumb new age jazz you always hear. You get the idea. And i got cards for Iron Maiden next year, so i guess i'm safe until summer.
I hope the new year will be better and i want to thank all of you for staying with me. It's humbling that there are so many people around who enjoy what i do, and enjoy it enough to support it with money in this capitalistic hellscape we are living in. I want to thank you all and hope that for all of you the new year will be better as well. Hug your dog, hug your parents, hug your friends, get a note to an artist telling them how much you love what they do, or wish some internet stranger well. You never know who might need it. :)
Thank you for your time.