Sign In
Close
Please, let me stop... by NoctisIgnem
Is it wrong off me to put myself first?
Is it wrong off me to neglect myself?
Am I egoistic because I long for an end,
because I don't know what to do, nor appreciate what I did?
Will the train complain because I dented it?
Will the noose be angry because I overstretched it?
Will the razor sorrow because I oxidised it?
Will the pills be mad because I crushed them?
What about me?
Creating a smile to make my mom happy,
only to let it turn into crying once I'm alone.
Is that fair? is that right?
Living the lie my parents want,
just so that they stay happy.
They say they're proud, that I'm a good son, great colleague.
Then why can't I feel that way, why do I stay sad?
Why?
Why can't the world stop saying what I should be, what I need to be?
I'm not black or white, not male or female,
I'm not happy or sad, not right or wrong.
If I need to accept everything the world throws to me,
then why won't the world accept me?
Why do I go to work sad, act happy there and go back to home sad?
Why do I regard my life as a bother, a chore to complete.
Why am I not normal to this world?
Why? Why? Why?
How come I sleep with tears and wake with tears?
Why do I continue this life just because you don't 'like' mine ending?
Trust me, you'll grow over it, in time you'll forget,
So why, why won't you let me end this life, finally let me forget...
Please, make it stop, make the lack off everything stop, make me stop, please, let me...
Yay, another happy day in my perfect life! /s
Submission Information
- Views:
- 440
- Comments:
- 1
- Favorites:
- 0
- Rating:
- General
- Category:
- Literary / Poetry / Lyrics
Link
OmegaDragotroid
First of all, suicide is selfish. Ignoring all the negative people in your life, how would the people who really matter feel after you've left such an nonrefillable void in their hearts? Suicide is a tough subject to deal with. There are times I still deal with it too, though not as frequently. But you have to stop and consider the people who matter in your life. It doesn't even matter if those people are related to you by blood, they will still forever be hurting after your death.
Secondly, I know how it feels to be told to behave a certain way even though you know yourself to be something else. I struggled with the image my mother forced on me for 30 years (In March, I'll be 31) before I realized that she doesn't really matter anymore. It's not what SHE says I am that's important, it's what /I/ say I am that matters. Ignore the naysayers and find your niche. That will help you overcome it.
Finally, remember to take life into your hands and make a change. If you dislike your job, set out and try to find another one. It doesn't matter if it's another minimum wage job, just get out of your current one. I'm going to tell you another story of mine that happened just this year.
I had been working for Bed Bath & Beyond for almost three years. It was one of the first jobs I've had here in Washington state, and by far the one I kept the longest. But it had worn me down. It had battered me, and it had bruised me. I was broken by it. It left me hopeless and helpless. My bouts of suicide had never been stronger than they were while I was working there. Finally, after 3 years, my boyfriend pushed me to find another job. I did. I now am very happily employed at Staples. Yes, I went from a part-time job to another part-time job, but it was the greatest thing I have ever done for myself. I had finally started to turn my life around because I got myself out of the horrible situation that I stayed in because I needed SOME kind of income, and I thrust myself into a much better situation where I'm 1,000 times happier. Yes, even the little things like a job change can make an incredible difference in a person's life.
So here's my challenge to you: change something. Doesn't matter what it is, but change it. Take a risk and make a change. You will be far happier for it in the end.