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Paucinia: a realm of five thousand, encircled by protective mountains; known for fertile land, home brewing, a superfluity of public holidays and a total absence of any other resources, including cash. The royal court is held together with spit and glue, but everyone eats well.

Queen Beatrice: overweight, ageing, heirless, and could care less, really. She rules her subjects with a light touch (‘Actually there’s not much for me to do. Sort of runs itself, really.’) while steering the realm quietly towards parliamentary democracy. They’ve just elected their third MP; makes votes so much easier.

Benno (the small one) was sent to Paucinia from a powerful Meditarranean city-state as an 'ambassador’ some time ago. He is still waiting to be recalled. Or given orders. Or for any sort of communication at all, really. He’s starting to think they’re trying to get rid of him. In the meantime he’s become a de facto royal aide; Her Majesty appreciates him, but winding him up is too much fun to resist.

[This is all very silly, and more than a little male-gazey. Oh well.]