Gone Forever by MatthewWolfbane (critique requested)

Silently building in my darkened heart
Rebirth of the ancient unforgotten arts
Point me to saviours which I ought anoint
With whom in death I shall be joined!

This inhuman rage which should have been my craft
Oh lord how I'd been such a fool and so daft
My hand be the axe and my mind like a spear
Your voice never 'gain I shall hear!

Though I can't be certain where my life has gone
I see that you've passed on without thought.
Knowing that you're gone, you left me behind
You mother of tears, not even a word!

Now where do I go in this destitute life
Knowing what waits has just insured my strife
So I've found my path on the way to my doom
Knowing it will all end soon

Though I can't be certain where my life has gone
I see that you've passed on without thought.
Knowing that you're gone, you left me behind
You mother of tears, you left me in fear!

Twenty years unknowing what went on in all those whom I loved
Silence placing precedence over the harshest truths
Where would I go? Where would I look?
Why was I to be part of this rancid game?

What was me has burned down
Once a king, lost my crown
Once I smiled, now I frown
Once I laughed, now I cry.

Life has shattered me
Tears around 'are all I see
Silent cries all I hear
No more need to fear...

Gone Forever (critique requested)

MatthewWolfbane

25 September 2016 at 00:17:54 MDT

A vent piece that covers quite a few issues I've had, most notably the death of my mother and the messed up way I'd been since it happened.

Submission Information

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602
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2
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1
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Poetry / Lyrics

Comments

  • Link

    This is so beautiful. It's one of those poems that has such a solid rhythm, flow and imagery that one's first instinct is to wonder if the poem has been plagiarised. I felt this poem in my heart, emotionally, but this is also a technically sound poem.

    • Link

      Thank you.
      A lot of this was emotionally driven, admittedly, so I don't quite know if it's similar to someone else's lyrics.