The Case of the Presidential Haters

Leo the Patriotic Lion here. Although the entire city of Wildcat City, and all the G-52s and their allies, always vote Republican, I’d like to point out this is purely coincidental, and has nothing to do with my beliefs. I am not afraid to slam both sides of the government. It still didn’t stop our current Democratic President from winning his second election in a row. Some rejoiced while others complained. But was the nation worried overall? Not at all, for it wasn’t the President that got them out of debt. It wasn’t any politician who got them out of debt. It was Cripto and his generosity, which led folks to depend on him instead of welfare until I stood up for him and threatened to send them to jail for being stalkers. And a few of them actually did stalk Cripto. Some were caught on camera as the news revealed, while others surrendered at the mentioning of my name.

No matter which side would have won the election, Cripto would’ve reinforced the government once more, because two days before Election Day, he sent the government a second wave of cash for those exact same amounts he did before: six times the amount of our national debt we had before he retired it the first time, and six times the budget deficit. Why does he do this? I think he it’s because he acts on impulse and is decisive, as part of the autism and PTSD he suffers from. I say this because I can confirm that he did this in response to a bad dream, which no one is willing to repeat for his sake, and he woke up in tears. “I’d better give them more money,” he wept as he used his powers and sent the box full of cash. “I don’t want them coming after me!” It didn’t take him long to calm down, however, because he remembered Lanna gave him the ornament she made which created rainbows as it does when light goes through a prism, releasing an aura of happiness.

“Are you okay?” I asked him when I saw him as soon as he was able to regain control of himself.

“I’m fine,” he said. “Had a nightmare last night, and in the midst of the panic, I sent the government the big amount I sent them to bail us out of debt all over again.”

“A second donation?” I asked. He nodded. “Cripto, I swear if you keep this up the world will think you’ve gone mental. But it does go to show you do care about us and you want what’s best for all of us. I don’t think they need more money than what you’ve sent. I also don’t know if that was a good move or not; it may lead folks to start stalking you all over again.”

“I wish I was better at that. Part of it’s the autism, but most of it is just bad behavior habits I’ve struggled so much just to kick. Even at my age now, it’s tough.”

“Is it the rough life you’ve lived prior to being a G-52?”

“That can account for it. It’s conditioned me into what I am now as far as seeing the negative better than the positive. It’s also made me realize I still have an unconscious craving for attention, but being one in the spotlight all the time just isn’t healthy. It doesn’t help that I trust everybody and I want everybody to know who I am. And yet I can never figure out just why this is so. Meanwhile, I’m preparing to put up with complaints on people that hate our President and want him dead, but all those people have been hypnotized by Bendraqi, my powers tell me, and as a result, I’m about to go into the news again unless they leave me alone.”

“They’ll leave you alone, soldier. I will see to that. Besides, all that’s been in the news is the win for the President. Weatherwise, Superstorm Sandy has been in the news a lot, but that evidently didn’t have an effect on the outcome of the election. Also be aware that there were people giving students rides to the polling places and offering them pizza for it, and the pizza is what made it illegal. I spoke against it on live TV and all those people are in jail for life. This represents the fact that while Wildcat City is desperately trying to reason with reason and tone done some of its extremely harsh laws that help ensure that not one single crime has ever gone unpunished, other places’ laws are getting harsher by the minute, and all because of my huge voice that can reach 750,000 without a loudspeaker. But as I promised, I will never run for office because I won’t make promises beyond my means and beyond what I am capable of keeping. I’ll probably come off as a dictator anyway, since whatever I say goes, in the eyes of those who obey me. So, you have your worries, and I have mine. Looks like we may end up going to Zanta’s world again just to relief the stress if needed.”

“It does give us a place to retreat to, yes. It helps that I have a vacation home there. Do you have one, by any chance?”

“No, I don’t. That’s Zanta’s decision in regards to whether I deserve one or not. He only does it for those he gets really attached to, he says, which is the main reason Jocko got one.”

We took a walk around town and found the people Cripto’s powers pinpointed as President haters only because of Bendraqi’s hypnosis. Along the way, Super Leo arrived and reported that in the middle of the night, he witnessed this happen, and he promptly put Bendraqi back in Alcatraz where he belonged. “I have no way to end the hypnosis treatment; only you can,” he concluded.

“It’s not something to brag about, though,” said Cripto as he cured the people and snapped them some Hip Solution drinks. “It’s just what I do as a superhero.”

“What motivated you to reinforce our government, anyway?”

“It was a moment of insanity based on a bad dream. I won’t repeat it.”

“I don’t think I want to know about it. These dreams you’ve been having are either just your imagination gone wild, or it’s the forces of evil trying to mess with your head. We’ll find out soon enough before this year is through. For now, I think you’d better relax.”

“That’s a good idea.”

The citizens had many reasons to be grateful for Cripto and the impact he left on history. They showed their gratitude to him, and in return, he asked for no reward, as a superhero should. Zanta soon found out what was happening and gave a hug to Cripto to reassure them everything was going to be all right. “Don’t let those dreams bother you,” he said. “It’s all good. Besides, those dreams mean absolutely nothing.”

“If you say so, Zanta,” Cripto replied as he accepted the hug.

“You seem stressed over that nightmare, though. Want to come to Port Goodfate?”

“Yes, that would do me some good.” Zanta transported himself and Cripto there, and soon, the tiger of purity was finding it easier than ever to relax. He went ahead and stayed at his vacation home that night, needless to say, so that he could wake up better than ever. Meanwhile, Super Leo and I ate lunch at Maximum Mighty Melt, ever so glad that there were no more Presidential haters in Wildcat City, and that Bendraqi was getting what he deserved.

THE END