Sign In

Close
Forgot your password? No account yet?

Rules Exist For A Reason (A WriteStream Story) by Kwandry (critique requested)

Rules Exist For A Reason (A WriteStream Story)

"Freder, I TOLD you they don't allow you to bring food and drinks on the bus." Glancing to the front of the bus, I keep noticing the driver's eyes staring back at us through the large mirror hanging above his head. "Put that away before we get kicked off!"

The shorter fennec rolled his eyes at me, unscrewing the soda bottle and bringing it to his lips. "They're not gonna kick us off. C'mon, Kwandry, that's just stuff they say to cover themselves legally. I've drank on the bus before plenty of times. Never a probl--"

As he said those words, we suddenly were shaken by the force of the bus hitting a large pothole. Losing my balance, I fell towards Freder, who yelped in surprise as the bottle flew up out of his hands, turning over in the air and then coming down... right on my chest.

"Dammit!" The sticky syrup of the soda soaked my clothes and matted my neck fur. "This shirt is a dry-clean only shirt, too. I told you to put that soda--" Stopping in mid-sentence, I started to feel a tingling spreading through my body, one that seemed... oddly familiar.

"Uh, Kwandry?" Freder's eyes widened as he looked at me, a knowing dread in his stare. "That wasn't any ordinary soda."

As the tingling spread through my body, I began to realize he might be right. "W-what do you mean?"

"Well... you know how I have that whole shrinking disease? Microsis?" The fennec's long ears started to sag to the sides a little. "That soda's actually something I drink to counteract it."

I didn't need him to tell me what that meant; my muscles had all started to tense and contract, making what was about to happen obviously clear. "That's just great," I said, my clothing already starting to feel tight.

Reaching out to the strip in between the windows of the bus, Freder pushed it, causing the "stop requested" sign to light up. "We should get off now," he said, his eyes widening as my head began to rise over his. Whatever chemical helped Freder balance the Microsis symptoms must have had a strong reaction with my innate growing abilities, as it only took about five seconds for the buttons on my shirt to begin to stretch and then pop off, revealing the soft orange chest fur underneath. One by one they ripped apart, nearly as quick as a zipper would unfasten, until the front of my torso was completely bare.

By now the other passengers were murmuring amongst themselves, but the driver had (inexplicably) not seemed to notice the suddenly eight-foot-tall red panda in the back of his bus. Looking out the window, I noticed we were driving on a stretch of highway where there wouldn't be a stop for several minutes -- quite possibly the worst time to start growing out of control.

Closing my eyes, I tried my best to concentrate and keep myself from getting any bigger, but as a loud ripping sound came down from my pants, I opened them again, only to realize that my head was nearing the ceiling of the bus, even though I was sitting down. "Driver!" I finally called out, my voice loud and booming, "you have to pull over!"

But the bus kept on rolling down the freeway. "Only at designated stops," a gruff voice replied.

"But-- WHOA!" I tried to stand-up halfway, leaning forward to try and get him to notice the obviously dangerous situation that was occurring at the back of his vehicle. As I did so, however, my body seemed to nearly explode with growth, my paws pushing against the seat I had formerly fit into, the metal holding it in place creaking as it was forced backwards. Glancing to my left, I noticed that Freder had jumped over the back of the seat, getting as quickly as he could to the back of the bus, where he huddled with the other frightened passengers.

"Freder!" I called out, my legs now spilling out into the aisle. "Isn't there anything that can stop this?!"

Trembling, the fennec shook his head. "Not immediately. Its effects will wear off in half-an-hour, though."

"Half-an-hour?! There's no way I'll still fit in the bus by then." I yelled as loud as I could, hoping that I could at least startle him into complying. "Driver, stop! NOW!"

"Only at designated stops!" This time, I noticed him looking at me in the mirror, and I knew he saw the predicament we were all in. Why he still didn't pull over, though, I have no clue.

My body continued to expand, my feetpaws inching closer to the crowd at the rear of the bus, where I could hear the sounds of terrified screams coming from. The feeling of people being pressed into my tail tickled me slightly, but I was in no mood to laugh.

By this time, my clothing had completely torn to shreds, leaving me naked, and even though I was on my hands and knees, my back was close to pressing against the ceiling. I tried my best to curl up into a fetal position, minimizing the space I took up as much as possible, but my body continued to grow.

"Ahhhhh!" I cried out as a sharp cramp spread through my muscles. Reflexively, I jolted my arms outward, smashing through several window panes, sending glass flying onto the side of the road. I spread my feet as far out as possible, trying to make sure that those behind me would be safe, while my head was close enough to the driver that I could smell him. "Stop or we'll all die!!"

This time, though, the bus screeched to a stop. The rear doors flew open and the rest of the passengers jumped out to safety, climbing around my paws and legs to do so. Opening my eyes, I saw the driver standing right in front of my nose, glaring down at me with his arms crossed.

"End of the line, pal." He pointed his finger out the door, and looking outside, I noticed we had arrived at our destination, the West Side terminal. "And the next time you come on my bus," he sneered, "leave the food and drinks at home."

"But-- but--" I sputtered, but he didn't want to hear any of it and stepped out of the bus, leaving me completely filling the interior, no way to get out without destroying the entire vehicle. At least my growth seemed to have stopped.

I sighed, causing the whole bus to shake as I did so. While wondering what I could possibly do next, Freder stepped back into the front of the bus, first looking at me with a bit of a smirk, then starting to laugh. "What's so funny?" I asked, a little perturbed that he found my predicament amusing.

"Nothing," he finally said, still grinning. "I'd just like to see them try to kick you off the bus now."

Rules Exist For A Reason (A WriteStream Story) (critique requested)

Kwandry

Freder and myself learn just why busses don't like you to have food or drink open on them.

This story came about during my first writing livestream, as a suggestion from crateis. I like the idea of doing quick one-off stories from suggestions in the stream chat, so I think I might continue to do this again. Just be aware that this story didn't receive my usual level of "polish" or editing, just a basic spell-check, so excuse any grammatical errors or other problems like that.

Freder © himself

Kwandry and original story © me

red panda grow fennec fox soda bus uncontrolled

Submission Information

Views:
431
Comments:
0
Favorites:
0
Rating:
General
Category:
Literary / Story