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A Magnificently Piedful Change by Kenku (critique requested)

  A Magnificently Piedful Change


      A Chill wind blew as Jay walked down the street, beginning his short jaunt home from work. Work had been as rushed as usual, and right now on his mind was a want to get home and relax a bit. The day has been mostly quiet, with customers going in and out and buying stuff they needed. All in all it had been a good day, but still his mind wandered into what was up with that one customer that got on his case, and why he had yelled at him over one little hole.


      Lost in such thoughts, Jay didn't see the weakness in the pavement in front of him, and with a sudden "CRACK" the pavement broke out from under him, and with a sudden "AUGH!" he fell forward into the rapidly growing sink hole. As he fell, he watched the light of the sky grow dim and slip away above him, before it was slowly replaced by a similar light from below. Slowly that light enveloped him, and he felt his fall start to slow, and the area around him began to fade into a strange looking landscape.


      Landing softly onto the new ground, Jay looked about rather confused. While the landscape was still much like the urban setting he had left, it just looked strange. Where simple brick and shingle town houses lined the street before, the town houses now were made of various colored materials. He also noticed where the road was simple and flat, now and it swerved along the newly rock laden hills that seemed to cut through the city.


       Getting up, Jay looked about for somewhere he could ask for help.  He found  himself standing in front of a large store with a brightly lit sign. The sign read: "William's Wonder Drinks Sodas, drinks, and teas for the unusual sort." As it looked populated and was the only noticeable building in sight, he headed inside.


      What he found inside the store was curiously strange. For a place he presumed would be some sort of convenience store or fast food, he instead found something that looked much stranger. Lining the walls are two long wooden shelves with various flasks that read things like "Lizard's tail" and "Cow Farts" and soda cans with labels like "Volp!" and "White Hare Cola!". The store itself looked like a mix of fantastical and modern, with hard wood floors and old style shelves, and computerized register at the desk. He saw no one standing there at first,   Then a moment later a fur covered head pop up from behind the desk.


       "Hello there" The creature said as he noticed Jay, who looked shocked. Than asked “May I help you?" In front of him now stood a fox the height of a small human, its face covered in furs of grey, orange and brown.  It seemed to be very humanly dressed, as it stood there in a shirt and sash, and a frilly hat. The fox looked at Jay waiting with an answer with a curious smile.


       "Yes...Um..." Jay said as he tried to compose himself. "Where are we?"


       "Where are we?" The fox repeated confused before coming to a proper realization.


      "Oh, so you're not from Aquos are you?" The fox asked.


       "Aquos?" Jay asks even more confused.


       "Why yes, from the look on your face, your very much not from his world. Must have fallen through one of the rifts the portals caused." He said. "Well, let me be the first to welcome you to our little planet of mystery." the fox said with a smile.


       "Uh, thank you..." Jay replied, a look of deep confusion on his face.


       "I'm guessing from your look, you're trying to get home."


       "Yeah pretty much." Jay said in reply.


       "Alrighty." The fox then returned. "I can help you there, but first..." he said before diving under the desk. "Would you like a free soda?" He held a black and white colored can in his hand. The can read "Magnificent Cherry Pie."


       "It's a new product I plan to put out soon, and was looking for someone to take a taste test for it. You interested?" He asked with a smile.


       Jay looked at the can curiously. On the side where the title of the soda is, he saw a silhouette of a bird, enjoying a slice of pie. Feeling rather thirsty, he looked to the fox. "I guess I'll try it." He responded before being given the can by the fox. As he drank the soda, the fox begins to explain what's needed to do to use the portal to get back to his home realm, to which he nodded slowly. The soda was rather delicious, tasting like he had been eating a slice of cherry pie. The soda also had a strange tingling to it, but for the most part he let it go.


       Upon finishing it, he began to grimace as his body suddenly felt like it was being prickled all over, as if he was being poked with hundreds of tiny sticks. The prickling went on for a minute or so, before it slowly flowed away. Shaking his head, Jay felt strange, as it felt as if there is a strange buffer between his clothes and his skin. Opening his eyes, he looked over himself and his expression changed from curious to confused surprise. All along his arms, he now saw feathers of blue, black and white, as his hands look like they have been dipped in black paint.


       The fox stopped as he saw Jay's look of scared surprise. "Oh, I see its starting to take effect." He said with a sly grin. As he did, there was the sound of cracking, and Jays feet came out from under him. The fall caused him to hit the counter, making it rattle and shake and causing a small bottle to roll off of it. The fox tried to stop it from falling to the floor, but he was only able to let out an "EEEP!" as it exploded in a flash of light, and the fox suddenly disappeared.


       Meanwhile, a confused Jay looked toward his feet, and could see that his feet had been warped into thick bird like talons with sharp claws, and with some sudden cracking, his hands prickled and began to follow suit, as his palms thickened to became leathery in texture, and his nails became short claws.  In short time and with a slight fusing, the shift ended, leaving him hands with a more avian look.


       Getting up after a bit of struggling, he began looking over himself, a look of confusion and amazement on his face, as he looked at the sort of avian like amalgulation of human he looked like right now. Before he can really react to it , a sharp pain shot through his back, as with a loud "RRRRRIIIIPPPP" his shirt is shredded away. From where it ripped, two bony limbs flow out of his shoulders and quickly fill in with several layers of black and shimmering blue feathers, suited  for flight.


       The wings finished, the shifting begins to affect his face. Jay's jaw clinched as it and the skin of his mouth begin to push forward, and form a dark colored beak, his eyes and other facial feathers adjusting as if being moved by clay, before the changes stop and complete.


       Confused and flustered, he looks at himself. "What the heck happened to me?" He muttered.


       "The soda turned you into a Magpie" Jay heard from behind the counter, as with a bit of struggle, he watched as a little grey fox climbed up onto top of it. "My sodas tend to do that."


       Jay raised an eye as he saw the little feral fox that had replace the more human one from before. "What happened to you?" He asked.


       "Oh , this? Just a Feralization Potion I forgot to put away. Nothing I can't adjust later. So what do you think of my soda?"


       "Well" Jay said as he looked over himself, beginning to admire his new look. "I have to say it's pretty cool." He replied with his best bird smile.


       "Ah good then!" the Fox says. "You can stay that way as long as you like. If you need room and board by the way, I do have a couple beds in the back. By the way, William is the name, although most people call me Kenku." he says, putting a paw out.


       "Nice to meet you." Jay replied before shaking his paw. This was the beginning of a long   conversation about Aquos, and what might be a couple adventurous days.

A Magnificently Piedful Change (critique requested)


Here's a new story that I did as a trade with PineapplesofScience of Crimson Flag Basically it's a story about one guys trip into my furs world, and the effects of drinking a soda of a certain fox. Hope you enjoy. ^^

Story, Kenku © Kenku

Jay, Editing © PineapplesofScience

Submission Information

Literary / Story