So this flag represents the transgender community, of which I am a part. I never used to know what transgender meant. It was not really well understood when I grew up. All you'd see on television were clearly guys in dresses and most often to just highlight how out of place they were.

But in time I came to understand that there were no minimums, no requirements to be transgender, that you did not have to have surgery for example to be a transgender woman, or go through therapy and have 'official' approval, or things like that, and even though I met my first transgender friend in 2008, I don't think I knew they were transgender until a few years later.

She also showed me that you can do a lot to pass without being radical. I know the way I dress, how I keep my hair, and my nail polish does a lot to help me know who I am now. I've gone by Lauren for years, pretty much since 2006 when I first conceptualized the character. But as it took me 6 years in the fandom to come up with Lauren it took me a long time before I finally got over that assertion that 'I'd never pass so I could never transition'.

As a younger person I was certain I could never be convincing, so with that assertion I stopped thinking about it since it wasn't going to happen. I costumed as female characters and continued to RP and write for them, and for a long time I thought that was enough.

In time, as I started to get older I started getting jealous of all my friends that I saw becoming who they were meant to be, and I started asking again, why not?

It was not until I finally dyed my hair dark blue like Lauren's that I asked myself once and for all, will I be okay if I never pursue this. The answer was no.

From that moment, my course was set. As scared as I was, I started dressing female at home. I went out in public as Lauren for the first time at MWFF 2019. From there I kept going, getting into 'girl mode' the moment I got home. And finally, during the coronavirus lockdown, I gathered the courage to tell my bosses's boss, and it was terrifying. I knew they'd probably be fine with it, but it didn't keep me from being afraid.

I knew I couldn't switch my job easily, and I couldn't avoid it. Not if I was going to be who I was. I finally told a few coworkers one on one over the phone, and then before our return to the office, emailed everyone else.

I did it, and you can too.

If you want to be who you really are, you're the only one that can take that journey.

Ten years ago I would never have thought I'd be where I am now.

I only wish I'd done it soon.

You can do it.

holds out my hand

Join me?

Art by thedrafthorse

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