(Additional photos at https://inkbunny.net/s/2370804 )

For Rattnip's birthday last year I made him an action figure of himself. We held each other so fucking tight, scared of what was going on in the world, frightened to be separated from those we love, fearful of what the fuck the future was going to bring. We needed each other, we needed to be held, we needed to touch.

Bringing his present to him in the middle of this fucking pandemic would be the last time I would ever see him.

I've had to face that he is truly gone, but it's taken too long to post this. I have no concept of time. Yesterday feels like last week. Last week feels like last month. Last month feels like last year. Last year just needs to disappear.

Rattnip was such a pillar to our communities and to the fandom. He was a genuine friend to all.

He was my friend, my Sir, and my mentor. His passing feels like an amputation that my mind can't process.

He helped me through so many horrible times in my life, and had the patience and heart to hold me even when it hurt him. He would always check in on me, make sure I was taking good care of myself and keeping my health in check.

Though I was one part of Rattnip’s life, seeing how many lives he brought love and smiles and acceptance to is immense and uncountable.

I think we all have a similar Rattnip origin story. He made you feel welcome, he made you feel comfortable and that you had a true friend that you could rely on.

I was always in awe of what he could do, and what he accomplished. I had the privilege of aiding him with his non-profit, Pride Lives. He gave his love and time with Sea-Pah. He helped carry on Fetch NW, hosting events both live and virtual. He was legendary on the mic singing karaoke. And he gave the greatest hugs. And all of that doesn’t even begin to describe his life.

He did it with class. He did it with style. He was larger than life yet always within reach.

Though he is gone, what he stood for isn’t.

Years ago when my mom had passed on, two friends that I look up to who had lost their moms just the month before told me, “You are stronger than you think,” and “allow yourself to feel”.

Please, take good and loving care of yourself.

I am going to repeat that:

Take GOOD and LOVING care of yourself.
Take GOOD and LOVING care of yourself.
Take GOOD and LOVING care of yourself.

Know that you all are loved. You are not alone.
Know that you all are loved. You are not alone.
Know that you all are loved. You are not alone.

Rest In Peace, Sir, O Squeakiest of Rats.

Thank you for healing me. I will always be your dumb, toony bunny. ;_;

https://www.furaffinity.net/user/grioden
https://www.weasyl.com/~rattnip
https://twitter.com/Rattnip

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255
https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org

Trevor Project
https://thetrevorproject.org

Trans Lifeline
1877-565-8860
https://translifeline.org