Gon’ Te-Choo! (Mad with the powers of one.)
This is actually inspired, distantly, by a little disaster in self-publishing print-on-demand. One of the proofs came back with the entire interior of the first quarterly replaced with a math workbook. I won’t say which outfit, but it was quite a lulu of a mess-up. Since then, people have suggested the gator take up teaching children math. Be careful what you wish for.
I bet many a teacher probably wish they could command attention like this.